Topic: Tell us a joke.... - page 27. (Read 35088 times)
What do you do when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv is floating? You take your pistol and shoot just under the tv. Then call the cops that you just shot a black man trying to steal your tv
A: How can the driver driving a 10-tons truck can cross a bridge whose limit only 8 tons?
B: ..... Idk
A: he just walk pass it
B: ..... Idk
A: he just walk pass it
Man walks into a bar. "Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps please."
"Certainly, sir, here you are," says the barman. "That'll be 30 satoshis for no confirmations with a transaction fee of 0.00075 ellteecee or 20 for 3 confirmations with point ohohohoh fuck this
edit: tell us another. How do you make a dog drink? Put it in a blender and add a dash of celery salt.
How many bitcoiners does it take to change a lightbulb? About 1.078242628
How many litecoiners does it take to change a lightbulb? about seven million
"Certainly, sir, here you are," says the barman. "That'll be 30 satoshis for no confirmations with a transaction fee of 0.00075 ellteecee or 20 for 3 confirmations with point ohohohoh fuck this
edit: tell us another. How do you make a dog drink? Put it in a blender and add a dash of celery salt.
How many bitcoiners does it take to change a lightbulb? About 1.078242628
How many litecoiners does it take to change a lightbulb? about seven million
) 
George W Bush walks into a library...
Best one so far 
Mt Gox walks into a bar.
... and the bartender says: "No GoxBux!"
A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.
Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."
Good one! Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."
Here's another joke:
A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!
Well at least that's what I think 
Your life belongs to you. Change it!
thanks Anyways, here's what Google spewed out for me:
Q: How do you know when it's going to be a good day at work?
A: When you see your boss' picture on the side of the milk carton.
George W Bush walks into a library...
yo mama so fat she stepped on a scale and it said TO BE CONTINUED... 
Mt Gox walks into a bar.
Well at least that's what I think
Your life belongs to you. Change it!
thanks *"Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired - you
must register a new one." *
*roses *
*"Sorry, too few characters." *
*pretty roses *
*"Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character." *
*1 pretty rose *
*"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." *
*1prettyrose *
*"Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters." *
*1fuckingprettyrose *
*"Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character." *
*1FUCKINGprettyrose *
*"Sorry, you cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively." *
*1FuckingPrettyRose *
*"Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters." *
* 1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow! *
*"Sorry, you cannot use punctuation." *
*1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow *
*"Sorry, that password is already in use."*
So fucking truemust register a new one." *
*roses *
*"Sorry, too few characters." *
*pretty roses *
*"Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character." *
*1 pretty rose *
*"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." *
*1prettyrose *
*"Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters." *
*1fuckingprettyrose *
*"Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character." *
*1FUCKINGprettyrose *
*"Sorry, you cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively." *
*1FuckingPrettyRose *
*"Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters." *
* 1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow! *
*"Sorry, you cannot use punctuation." *
*1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow *
*"Sorry, that password is already in use."*
Then you forget it
*"Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired - you
must register a new one." *
*roses *
*"Sorry, too few characters." *
*pretty roses *
*"Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character." *
*1 pretty rose *
*"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." *
*1prettyrose *
*"Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters." *
*1fuckingprettyrose *
*"Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character." *
*1FUCKINGprettyrose *
*"Sorry, you cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively." *
*1FuckingPrettyRose *
*"Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters." *
* 1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow! *
*"Sorry, you cannot use punctuation." *
*1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow *
*"Sorry, that password is already in use."*
must register a new one." *
*roses *
*"Sorry, too few characters." *
*pretty roses *
*"Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character." *
*1 pretty rose *
*"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." *
*1prettyrose *
*"Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters." *
*1fuckingprettyrose *
*"Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character." *
*1FUCKINGprettyrose *
*"Sorry, you cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively." *
*1FuckingPrettyRose *
*"Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters." *
* 1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow! *
*"Sorry, you cannot use punctuation." *
*1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow *
*"Sorry, that password is already in use."*
A pilot on a passanger plane makes an announcement. "We are running out of fuel, in order to make it to the next airport we need to lose some weight. Yeah you know what I mean, some people need to jump, any volunteers? Ok since no one volunteers we need to go by the alphabet, so A afro americans, B blacks, C chinese....
In the back seat there is a black guy with his son. The son asks "daddy which one are we afro americans or blacks"
The dad responds "shut up, now we are fucking niggers"
In the back seat there is a black guy with his son. The son asks "daddy which one are we afro americans or blacks"
The dad responds "shut up, now we are fucking niggers"
Just then, dad woke up from his nightmare, to be greeted by an albino stewardess asking him if he desired chicken for dinner. Dad, thinking he saw a ghost, immediately ran to the exit door and exited.
Well at least that's what I think
Your life belongs to you. Change it!
Well at least that's what I think
my life
Jump to: