So, I was going down on this chick the other day when I suddenly could taste the familiar taste of horse semen. So I looked up and I said; "aaw grandma, that's how you died"
A baby seal walks into a club..
That's all I got
BTC 1DavH6tGvK1nbzE2uazZbGEoT8juB5c3GW
Topic: Tell us a joke.... - page 28. (Read 35088 times)
A pilot on a passanger plane makes an announcement. "We are running out of fuel, in order to make it to the next airport we need to lose some weight. Yeah you know what I mean, some people need to jump, any volunteers? Ok since no one volunteers we need to go by the alphabet, so A afro americans, B blacks, C chinese....
In the back seat there is a black guy with his son. The son asks "daddy which one are we afro americans or blacks"
The dad responds "shut up, now we are fucking niggers"
In the back seat there is a black guy with his son. The son asks "daddy which one are we afro americans or blacks"
The dad responds "shut up, now we are fucking niggers"
How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house?
You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.
Why did the little black boy start crying when he had diarrhea?
He thought he was melting.
Whats the difference between a park bench and a black guy?
The park bench can support a family.
What is a Jews biggest dilemma?
Free pork
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream was shot...
(I'm going to hell)
You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.
Why did the little black boy start crying when he had diarrhea?
He thought he was melting.
Whats the difference between a park bench and a black guy?
The park bench can support a family.
What is a Jews biggest dilemma?
Free pork
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream was shot...
(I'm going to hell)
Since we have insulted, Asians, Blacks and Jews, lets not leave out the Gays.
Whats the difference between a fag and a refrigerator?
Ans: A refrigerator wont fart when you take your meat out.
I was wondering where that noise was coming from... from the other room... I mean next door... What I mean is... Okay, you got me! It's a male goat.
Q: What's the difference between Batman and a black man?
A: Batman can go out at night without robbin.
Q: How do you confuse a Jew?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him there's a quarter in the corner.
A: Batman can go out at night without robbin.
Q: How do you confuse a Jew?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him there's a quarter in the corner.
Hey guys,
we need some humor up in here, so why not tell eachother jokes?
we need some humor up in here, so why not tell eachother jokes?
LTC on GOX
That was a good one, still laughing!
Hey guys,
we need some humor up in here, so why not tell eachother jokes?
we need some humor up in here, so why not tell eachother jokes?
LTC on GOX
ok i'll tell a joke
nah i won't
hahahahhaha
nah i won't
hahahahhaha
You should always give 100% at work...
10% Monday; 20% Tuesday; 40% Wednesday; 20% Thursday; 10% Friday
10% Monday; 20% Tuesday; 40% Wednesday; 20% Thursday; 10% Friday
A pilot on a passanger plane makes an announcement. "We are running out of fuel, in order to make it to the next airport we need to lose some weight. Yeah you know what I mean, some people need to jump, any volunteers? Ok since no one volunteers we need to go by the alphabet, so A afro americans, B blacks, C chinese....
In the back seat there is a black guy with his son. The son asks "daddy which one are we afro americans or blacks"
The dad responds "shut up, now we are fucking niggers"
In the back seat there is a black guy with his son. The son asks "daddy which one are we afro americans or blacks"
The dad responds "shut up, now we are fucking niggers"
Daddy, how was I born ? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. and that's the story.
That's what I thought. Daddy, why did you and Mommy name me Josh?
Well, on the way to the Maths Lab, we saw this big pile of poodle shit...
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"
"Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.
"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."
"Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.
"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."
Daddy, how was I born ? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. and that's the story.
All of them were surprisingly... bad. Not that I could do better, though. 
I'll try again.
Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks, what's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smell nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."
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This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window...
He tells her to take off her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.
"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?
"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.
He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?"
She replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."
Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"
She replies, "Yes, getting herpies. That's why I'm here!"
All of them were surprisingly... bad. Not that I could do better, though.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, "Ugh! That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen."
The woman stalks off to the rear of the bus and sits down. She turns to the man sitting next to her and says, "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "You go and give him a telling off. I’ll hold your monkey for you."
The woman stalks off to the rear of the bus and sits down. She turns to the man sitting next to her and says, "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "You go and give him a telling off. I’ll hold your monkey for you."
That one was pretty funny, haven't heard before.
What did one casket say to the sick casket?
Is that you coughin?
How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house?
You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.
Why did the little black boy start crying when he had diarrhea?
He thought he was melting.
Whats the difference between a park bench and a black guy?
The park bench can support a family.
What is a Jews biggest dilemma?
Free pork
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream was shot...
(I'm going to hell)
You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.
Why did the little black boy start crying when he had diarrhea?
He thought he was melting.
Whats the difference between a park bench and a black guy?
The park bench can support a family.
What is a Jews biggest dilemma?
Free pork
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream was shot...
(I'm going to hell)
Since we have insulted, Asians, Blacks and Jews, lets not leave out the Gays.
Whats the difference between a fag and a refrigerator?
Ans: A refrigerator wont fart when you take your meat out.
A guy adds to a thread the same exact joke some other penned because he's addicted to naypalm.
A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender shakes his head and says, "No, we only have plain."
A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.
Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."
Good one! Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."
Here's another joke:
A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!
Whereupon Officer Josh refunds the Man's ticket because he didn't want the courts polluted with his ilk. O.J. hands back the Man's DL and said, "Drive home carefully to your neighborhood of monumental assholes."
A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.
Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."
Good one! Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."
Here's another joke:
A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!
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