If a addict lives within, which method would you choose to help them - page 15.

Gozie51

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Quote from: Haunebu on January 30, 2024, 02:57:04 PM

I would choose neither because there is a 3rd option which I feel is even better than those two options and that is taking him/her to a psychologist/gambling addiction group who could help in a big way.

Most people don't easily listen to their family members which is why a third person perspective helps in such cases.

This could be right because familiar faces will not have much effect to the addict who is going to be needing help and moreover, the psychologist is a professional who knows the expert ways to handle such issues instead of self medicating the addict. So bringing in a third party who is an expert is going to be more effective than the usual family members that may not be forceful when it is needed like seizing certain things that enables the addict to gamble but a professional would keep to the professional ethics to achieve his or goals and to get paid as they bargain in the contract.

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The only method I could easily introduce or suggest was to make abstenance for some time until he's being able to regain back himself to gambling responsibly, this may have to include cutting away every means that could allow him ha e access to gambling which may involve money and any nearby casinos including online ones, then he must also be ready and willing to see the change take effect on his life.

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I would choose neither because there is a 3rd option which I feel is even better than those two options and that is taking him/her to a psychologist/gambling addiction group who could help in a big way.

Most people don't easily listen to their family members which is why a third person perspective helps in such cases.

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First of all, if it had been possible I'd have ended the addiction before it started, giving good advice and raising his/her curiosity about how gambling really works and why it is not a good idea to lose control in the quest for that great jackpot thad doesn't depend on how much money you stake or how hard you try.

If it was too late, I'm not any specialist, so I'd try to find a good one myself and ask him/her for advice about how to proceed before making things even worse.

Alpha Marine

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You can only help those who want to be helped. A gambling addict has to admit that he's an addict and be willing to stop before he can be helped. When he has made a conscious effort to stop them it will be easier to help out.

There's no point in being harsh to an addict. If it was easy for them to not be an addict they would have. It's not easy so you have to be gentle with him.
Being harsh on people is just another way of pushing people far away from you and you can't help a person if the person is far away.
You just have to keep making sure he's loved and not judged. Don't judge them.
This doesn't mean you won't tell them their fuck up to their face. Be honest with them, don't sugarcoat anything, but be gentle. Love them. Love is the only thing that can help. Create trust between the both of you, let the person know you're there for them.

Mahanton

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Quote from: Outhue on January 30, 2024, 05:20:31 AM

As a member of a family and there is a gambling addict within, which method do you think it's the best to rip off the addict from your family member?

1. Talk to them and don't leave their side for too long, show them some love and make sure they don't have anything to do with gambling ever again, be soft and gentle with them.

2. Be harsh about it, force them to quit, let them know that gambling isn't this safe, bounce on them all the time because you love them, don't go any soft on them, because been soft won't make them see reasons why it's bad to be a gambling addict.

Which do you think it's best? Some people do think that been soft and gentle will be more effective and some people think that been harder on them is the real love here, they need to make them stop by force.

What do you think?

Totally actually depends on a certain persons personality on which there are someone who do really love or preferred on listening into those people who are gentle compared into those who are forceful or someone who are scolding them, there are ones who are really that also that listens into those people who are really that having that aggressive stance on the way that they do giving out some advises on which this would really be that actually be that depending on a certain individual and as long it would be something pertaining about quitting then this is something that most important thing to mind on.
If someone inside the family are already that addicted then it would really be just that normal that you would really be having that such concern on which we do really know on what are the things
that could possibly be affected or could happen if such addiction would really be that on severe manner. This is why it would really be always best that we are there for them on battling out such addiction
even though there are cases that only themselves who could really actually resolve out such problem.

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Quote from: Outhue on January 30, 2024, 05:20:31 AM

Which do you think it's best? Some people do think that been soft and gentle will be more effective and some people think that been harder on them is the real love here, they need to make them stop by force.

What do you think?

being soft and gentle would be nice but to be honest, I think the best way to talk to them would be to be firm and gentle at the same time. you need to be frank with them and let them know the negative effects the addiction is having on them and the people around them and what could happen if the behavior continues, but you also need to reaffirm to them that you and the family have their back and will support them if they ask for help(of course the reason as to why they are asking for help would need to be reasonable).

Wiwo

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I will first of all look tlat the relationship between me and that person and if he is someone that we have good rapo with, I will try and advice them, well I can't promise to be by they side all the time, but then if he seek my help at any time, I will gladly offer them that help but if not, then I will rather remain on my own because for an addict to make it out freely, there is a need for them to first of all agree within themselves that they want to quite, otherwise forcing them to do so may become counter productive.

Secondly I may only offer personal stuport if the individual involved is a very close person to me otherwise, I will rather respect my boundaries and keep to myself.

Mate2237

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All those your methods have been used by parents and family members and also outsiders yet it does not work out for them so the best approach is the number with fervent prayers. A friend of my was a chronic gambler and smoker as well and his parents are deacon and deaconess in a pentiscostal church and the boy was sent to university and only for him to became an addict in the university through friends influence in the school and all what the parents did was instructions and prayers. They only instruct him what to do and they pray then the addiction just left him and now he is a new creature.

If force someone that is an addict then you will make the thin worse than ever and if care is not taking care of the person will leave the house for you and go and leave on their own. So the best way is not to force them to accept your opinion. You have to tell the bad effect of been a gambler and a smoker addict. Then pray.

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I've been to a couple of mental health online communities and second option is the most recommended to avoid at all cost as it apparently only made people feel worse and avoid treatment.

Hence, I'd always go for first option. Ideally, it is best to seek a professional help but if they're showing reluctance on that, they may try with self-help resources first -- what matters is they are progressing. When it comes to unhealthy habits, stopping all at once typically does not help for me. Instead, I reduce the consumption slowly and/or replace it with another alternative that gives almost the same amount of dopamine.

In extreme cases though, there may be a need for involuntary treatment as they could become a threat to people around them. In this case, reaching out to a professional or through the local social service is the next step.

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Quote from: Outhue on January 30, 2024, 05:20:31 AM

Which do you think it's best? Some people do think that been soft and gentle will be more effective and some people think that been harder on them is the real love here, they need to make them stop by force.

What do you think?

If someone is really addicted means there is a problem which is not good for sure. we have to stop it somehow. At first, I will describe the bad effects of this addiction and how it can be bigger in the future.

2nd try to find out the alternative option for his what he likes most. So that he can focus on the alternative thing and forget slowly gambling. Though it's hard I know.

Then I will try to find out if there is any treatment for it. and admit him there.

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Quote from: Outhue on January 30, 2024, 05:20:31 AM

As a member of a family and there is a gambling addict within, which method do you think it's the best to rip off the addict from your family member?

1. Talk to them and don't leave their side for too long, show them some love and make sure they don't have anything to do with gambling ever again, be soft and gentle with them.

This is a two edged sword, first you need to ask yourself why is your family member gambling, is it for financial gain or fun..if it's fun you need to advise them to be part of the family by contributing what they can and not be wasteful with resources and if it's for financial gain I guess a more stable income try should come from finding a job and not gambling as there is inconsistent here.

Quote from: Outhue on January 30, 2024, 05:20:31 AM

2. Be harsh about it, force them to quit, let them know that gambling isn't this safe, bounce on them all the time because you love them, don't go any soft on them, because been soft won't make them see reasons why it's bad to be a gambling addict.

This approach can only be taken if you have had the conversation before otherw being harsh doesn't solve the problem.

Quote from: Outhue on January 30, 2024, 05:20:31 AM

Which do you think it's best? Some people do think that been soft and gentle will be more effective and some people think that been harder on them is the real love here, they need to make them stop by force.

What do you think?

Every situation has a way of resolving it and it's easy to take sides on best approach not until you have being tasked with such a problem to resolve.

Marykeller

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There are certain habits in life, you don't tell someone who is above 18 years of age to stop by a harsh voice. Instead, you will prefer to use a cool voice to address them, by telling them the dangers of things they are doing, that are not right.

Assuming I find a family member of mine addicted to gambling, I will surely use a cool voice to talk them out of gambling addictions than when I use a harsh voice. Using a harsh voice can cause an issue between me and them, which they won't like to accept "For me to have a say in how they choose to live their life on gambling". They might perceive the words I say to them as an insult, which is not so but due to I use of a harsh voice on them, it sounds so to them.

The tone of our voice matters when we talk to people, whether they are our family or friends. There is an adage that says "A tongue has no bone but it is sharpened like an axe(it can cut down a tree)

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If we are gambler and there are other family members who also experience addiction problems, then it will be easier for us to try to help one of the family members who is experiencing an addiction problem.
We as gamblers will better understand and understand the attitude of gambler and the approach in trying to help him recover, which we can also emphasize more on him.
But on the other hand we also have to be able to understand that actually getting someone to stop gambling is very difficult thing.
In context like this, the two methods you have mentioned are actually both quite effective methods in helping to recover from addiction problems.
Method number 1 can be the initial attitude that we need to take and we must continue to be patient, but if the first method fails then method 2 which you have mentioned can be an alternative.
If gambling addict cannot be pressured gently and with patience and love, then harder pressure can make him more aware, of course everything takes time and process.
All of these methods will work but not to completely stop because gambler who is addicted will be able to recover by reducing the intensity of gambling but not by stopping completely.

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Quote from: Outhue on January 30, 2024, 05:20:31 AM

As a member of a family and there is a gambling addict within, which method do you think it's the best to rip off the addict from your family member?

1. Talk to them and don't leave their side for too long, show them some love and make sure they don't have anything to do with gambling ever again, be soft and gentle with them.

2. Be harsh about it, force them to quit, let them know that gambling isn't this safe, bounce on them all the time because you love them, don't go any soft on them, because been soft won't make them see reasons why it's bad to be a gambling addict.

Which do you think it's best? Some people do think that been soft and gentle will be more effective and some people think that been harder on them is the real love here, they need to make them stop by force.

What do you think?

Many people try to control a gambling addict in various ways to get rid of his addiction. Some are soft and some are strict. But my opinion is that a gambler can't be controlled by any means unless they try on their own. Of course a gambler should know about his addiction beforehand. When he gets a better idea of the nature of the addicted gambler and what his situation might be, he will try to free of the addiction by his own. If a gambler makes such an effort, it is possible for him to get rid of the addiction. Many of those who are minor gamblers are addicted to the rigours can be released. But it will not be possible to work in the same process in all cases.

electronicash

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can you do both?

join him while he is gambling and then feed him the wrong bet so he loses Grin

this way he learns the value of money he lost in gambling.

i have a cousin who is a drug addict, his family let him be in prison for years, they could actually pay bail for him to go out. but then just let him stay there and waste a few years of his life. it actually worked and he seemed to have learned well. it takes a hard and life-changing event before a man can find the lesson.

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I gonna choose number 1 It's generally better to be understanding and supportive because it creates a positive environment for the person to open up and seek help willingly. Being too forceful (option 2) might make them defensive and less likely to address the issue.
But for me its better that your family member gets professional help like counseling or joining support groups to address their gambling addiction.

Quote from: Outhue on January 30, 2024, 05:20:31 AM

As a member of a family and there is a gambling addict within, which method do you think it's the best to rip off the addict from your family member?

1. Talk to them and don't leave their side for too long, show them some love and make sure they don't have anything to do with gambling ever again, be soft and gentle with them.

2. Be harsh about it, force them to quit, let them know that gambling isn't this safe, bounce on them all the time because you love them, don't go any soft on them, because been soft won't make them see reasons why it's bad to be a gambling addict.

Which do you think it's best? Some people do think that been soft and gentle will be more effective and some people think that been harder on them is the real love here, they need to make them stop by force.

What do you think?

Ruttoshi

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Family is family and we cannot deny the fact that treating the gambler with love can help him leave his addiction rather than being harsh on the gambler. This is because it is not easy to leave addiction when you find yourself been addicted. Letting the person to know the ruin that gambling addiction will cause him, should be good. If possible and you know some gambling addicts that died die to frustration or is living a frustrated life can be of an example that you will use as reference.

On the other hand, a little harshness once in a while can still help, if you see that the person is giving you deaf hears to everything possible that you are trying to make him stop gambling. Let the person to know that he is only wasting his time and money, if possible advice him to quit gambling and go on a long break. This will help a lot.

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Quote from: Outhue on January 30, 2024, 05:20:31 AM

As a member of a family and there is a gambling addict within, which method do you think it's the best to rip off the addict from your family member?

1. Talk to them and don't leave their side for too long, show them some love and make sure they don't have anything to do with gambling ever again, be soft and gentle with them.

2. Be harsh about it, force them to quit, let them know that gambling isn't this safe, bounce on them all the time because you love them, don't go any soft on them, because been soft won't make them see reasons why it's bad to be a gambling addict.

Which do you think it's best? Some people do think that been soft and gentle will be more effective and some people think that been harder on them is the real love here, they need to make them stop by force.

What do you think?

Any of those will work but I think it's too brutal to say that you're going to rip him off. That member of your family that's addicted to gambling needs help and he has nowhere to go but his immediate and first family. If talking whether in a calm manner or not or even being harsh doesn't work for him then that's the time that you should be more harsh to him and give some ultimatum that you'll never give him the help that he needs. It's like in words but of course, you guys are family and you'll remain to be there.

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Quote from: Outhue on January 30, 2024, 05:20:31 AM

...
Which do you think it's best? Some people do think that been soft and gentle will be more effective and some people think that been harder on them is the real love here, they need to make them stop by force.

What do you think?

There is no universal answer that can be applied to everyone! Each person is unique, what works for one person may be counterproductive for another. It is also very important which "family member" we are talking about here, we have a different approach if the person is younger or older, a child or a parent.

You already know that person, so figure out the best way to influence that person. If you are not sure, try nice words first, and if that doesn't work, try being a little rougher, if that's an option at all.

Topic: If a addict lives within, which method would you choose to help them - page 15. (Read 2446 times)