Topic: Jokes? Gimme your best! (Read 26713 times)
I would have joked about my penis, but this joke would be too ... short
Never criticize a rifleman until you have walked a mile in his shoes.
That way, he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range.
That way, he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range.
I'm afraid you'd still be dead.
The longest rifle kill is 3.5km - by a Canadian.... (I'm Canadian muhahaha)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longest_recorded_sniper_kills
Gleaned, thanks to the provided link, I see what you did there, Vod ...
Quote
A sniper must have the ability to accurately estimate the various factors that influence a bullet's trajectory and point of impact, such as range to the target, wind direction, wind speed, air density, elevation, and even the Coriolis effect due to the rotation of the Earth.
An Exam
A teacher is supervising the exam in class. He noticed Balu who had looked sleepy.
Teacher: Balu, you are so tired, sleepy huh?
Balu: Sorry sir, last night I could not sleep.
Teacher:ok then i will delayed your test for next week!
Balu: Why, Sir?
Teacher: just sleep you can't do it moreover you do the exam.
Balu: & $ @% $ #!
A teacher is supervising the exam in class. He noticed Balu who had looked sleepy.
Teacher: Balu, you are so tired, sleepy huh?
Balu: Sorry sir, last night I could not sleep.
Teacher:ok then i will delayed your test for next week!
Balu: Why, Sir?
Teacher: just sleep you can't do it moreover you do the exam.
Balu: & $ @% $ #!
Never criticize a rifleman until you have walked a mile in his shoes.
That way, he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range.
That way, he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range.
I'm afraid you'd still be dead.
The longest rifle kill is 3.5km - by a Canadian.... (I'm Canadian muhahaha)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longest_recorded_sniper_kills
This is an odd kind of joke, but it makes me laugh everytime I see it.
Never criticize a rifleman until you have walked a mile in his shoes.
That way, he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range.
I zinged that one at my wife as she was doing something else one day and she was distracted, and of course had to stop and think on it a second, which made it even funnier.
Never criticize a rifleman until you have walked a mile in his shoes.
That way, he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range.
I zinged that one at my wife as she was doing something else one day and she was distracted, and of course had to stop and think on it a second, which made it even funnier.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the street?
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Bacause it got stuck in a crack.
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Bacause it got stuck in a crack.
when I was a kid I often trapped my classmates by putting chewing gum on the bench right after the last hour at home quickly and he was confused with the pants still attached to the chair.
there are two flies sitting on a piece of shit
one fly farts and the second fly says "Damnit man! We're eating!"
one fly farts and the second fly says "Damnit man! We're eating!"
You Can’t Teach an Old Dog to Fly
A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.
“Sure,” I said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.” I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.
The customer was flummoxed: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”
A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.
“Sure,” I said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.” I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.
The customer was flummoxed: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”
Meanwhile @ the Rainbow Ranch, deep in the bowels of the enchanted forest near Brokeback, Montana...
Why haven’t you ever seen any elephants hiding up behind trees? Because they’re really, really good at it.
^
The confessional is next door @BADecker's.
Just ignore the glory hole.
Or don't...
The confessional is next door @BADecker's.
Just ignore the glory hole.
Or don't...
The things they teach at schools nowadays ...
"A nice man, new to the neighborhood, helped me carry this display to school. He even held my hand when crossing the street after we took a shortcut through the woods where he asked me to do several cartwheels. I think he got poison ivy or poison oak because he kept scratching his private parts while I was doing the cartwheels."
^
The confessional is next door @BADecker's.
Just ignore the glory hole.
Or don't...
The confessional is next door @BADecker's.
Just ignore the glory hole.
Or don't...
"That goddamn gay black lawyer-cum-rancher painted most my brown cows again.
All thanks to last decade's state motto - Come to Montana and Enjoy the Snowflakes."[/center]
Correction: BobLawblaw isn't black. He's a liar and a racist.
Check his posts and tell me if you think a black person would call people "niggers" and "spear chuckers" the way he did for a period of time last spring.
https://bitcointalksearch.org/user/boblawblaw-569455
He probably got reprimanded for it, because he hasn't used the "N word" in quite awhile.
Now he calls himself the "Gayest Black Cowboy on BitcoinTalk / Power-Top".
He's a lying scumbag piece of shit. Hmm, maybe he is a lawyer
What he is for certain, is an effeminate, gay white farmer from Montana with a low-IQ and mental problems. No more, no less.
He uses racial slurs, but then, admittedly, he enjoys having sex with groups of big, burly black men. Go figure.
He's managed to fester himself into the biggest joke on this entire forum.
Congratulations, BobLawblaw. Nice work, you fluffy little milk-white kitten. Meow.
PS; Let us know if you'd like some cheese with your whine, princess.
Bonus humor: https://bitcointalksearch.org/topic/m.19007036
Not meant to stick up for Bob, I once penned a thread where I used the N word a lot in reference to a black dude and my two white nephews. It was penned in anger (for lack of a better word) when the black dude in question beat the fuck outta not-yet-year-old son of my niece because ... wait for it ... the baby was crying and he couldn't sleep because he was still fucked up on drugs. Right or wrong, I employed the term in referring to the asshole.
I'm not a racist, but if I were, I would have no fuckin problem stating such at 57 years old. Jews, OTOH ...
Retract that! Make that Flat-earthers. 
Now back to this tread's topic - JOKES.
What do you can a Lugan with a 2-inch cock?
Bruno.
"That goddamn gay black lawyer-cum-rancher painted most my brown cows again.
All thanks to last decade's state motto - Come to Montana and Enjoy the Snowflakes."
Correction: BobLawblaw isn't black. He's a liar and a racist.
Check his posts and tell me if you think a black person would call people "niggers" and "spear chuckers" the way he did for a period of time last spring.
https://bitcointalksearch.org/user/boblawblaw-569455
Example:
You belong back in Africa with the rest of the dumb niggers.
He probably got reprimanded for it, because he hasn't used the "N word" in quite awhile.
Now he calls himself the "Gayest Black Cowboy on BitcoinTalk / Power-Top".
He's a lying scumbag piece of shit. Hmm, maybe he is a lawyer
What he is for certain, is an effeminate, gay white farmer from Montana with a low-IQ and mental problems. No more, no less.
He uses racial slurs, but then, admittedly, he enjoys having sex with groups of big, burly black men. Go figure.
He's managed to fester himself into the biggest joke on this entire forum.
Congratulations, BobLawblaw. Nice work, you fluffy little milk-white kitten. Meow.
PS; Let us know if you'd like some cheese with your whine, Princess Douchebag.
Bonus humor: https://bitcointalksearch.org/topic/m.19007036
Century 21 Agent: I understand that you're looking to buy a house close to an elementary school, Mr. BADecker?
BADecker: Yes, that's right.
Century 21 Agent: How many children do you have?
BADecker: None, yet.
BADecker: Yes, that's right.
Century 21 Agent: How many children do you have?
BADecker: None, yet.
LMAO
I'm having trouble topping this one, with apologies to BADicker... I meant Decker.
Hey's one on BobLaw ...
"That goddamn gay black lawyer-cum-rancher painted most my brown cows again.
All thanks to last decade's state motto - Come to Montana and Enjoy the Snowflakes."
Century 21 Agent: I understand that you're looking to buy a house close to an elementary school, Mr. BADecker?
BADecker: Yes, that's right.
Century 21 Agent: How many children do you have?
BADecker: None, yet.
BADecker: Yes, that's right.
Century 21 Agent: How many children do you have?
BADecker: None, yet.
nomad: Hey bud, how's things on the Rainbow Ranch?
BobLawblaw: Well, today I...
nomad: Just kidding. We don't give a fuck.
BobLawblaw: Well, today I...
nomad: Just kidding. We don't give a fuck.
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