Today's Headline: Air Force One suffered $4 million in damage during servicing
You telling me that not a single secret service agent was able to stop Trump from fucking the plane? Were they all watching and jacking off themselves while Trump was getting some Boeing tail?
Topic: Jokes? Gimme your best! - page 3. (Read 26639 times)
A chicken covered with dirt and has a semen-soaked sock over his head walks into a bar ...
Chicken: Any lawyers here wanna jack me off for a cold brewski?
BADecker: Hey, chicken, where did you find my sock?
Nomad: I hope my smartphone's charged enough so that I can film what's gonna happen next.
BobLaw: Wait, we're allowed to film here?
Bartender: WTF! I turned my back for just a second and ...
Chicken: Any lawyers here wanna jack me off for a cold brewski?
BADecker: Hey, chicken, where did you find my sock?
Nomad:
BobLaw: Wait, we're allowed to film here?
Bartender: WTF! I turned my back for just a second and ...
Q: Why did the load of semen cross the road?
A: BADecker wore the wrong socks to church.
A: BADecker wore the wrong socks to church.
Q: Why did BoobLawblaw fail at chicken farming?
A: He was planting them too deep.
A: He was planting them too deep.
A Flat-earther walks into a bar ...
Bartender: What'll be, mate?
Eff-er: A mug of ice cold beer.
Bartender: Here you go.
Eff-er: Hey, this mug is only half full!
Bartender: Not from my perspective.
Eff-er: You wait till my lawyer gets a load of this shit.
Bartender: Let me guess. Your lawyer's a transvestite named bob.
Eff-er: YOU'RE A RIOT! I'll take another beer, bud. Make that a double, for I have a hunch.
Bartender: What'll be, mate?
Eff-er: A mug of ice cold beer.
Bartender: Here you go.
Eff-er: Hey, this mug is only half full!
Bartender: Not from my perspective.
Eff-er: You wait till my lawyer gets a load of this shit.
Bartender: Let me guess. Your lawyer's a transvestite named bob.
Eff-er: YOU'RE A RIOT! I'll take another beer, bud. Make that a double, for I have a hunch.
A new vacuum salesman knocked at the door….
A lady opened it. Before she could speak... The salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow dung on the carpet.
Salesman: - Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in the next 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this!!
Lady: Do you need Chili Sauce with that?
Salesman: - Why Madam?
Lady: - Because there's no electricity in the house...!!!
MORAL: - "Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client... & over smartness can be deadly."
A lady opened it. Before she could speak... The salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow dung on the carpet.
Salesman: - Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in the next 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this!!
Lady: Do you need Chili Sauce with that?
Salesman: - Why Madam?
Lady: - Because there's no electricity in the house...!!!
MORAL: - "Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client... & over smartness can be deadly."
Q: Why does BobLawblaw always check out of hotels early?
A: He always gets his shit packed the night before.
Q: What's better, Alzheimer's disease or Parkinson's disease?
A: Parkinson's disease, because it's better to spill half your pint than to forget where you put it.
A: Parkinson's disease, because it's better to spill half your pint than to forget where you put it.
In Heaven, Prince approaches Einstein.
Prince: Dude, I just wanna let you know how much you inspired me.
Einstein: Here's to hopin' Cher and Madonna echo your sentiment when they arrive.
Prince: Wait, what! They're Jehovah Witnesses also?
Caesar: Okay, break it up! You guys were talkin' 'bout me, weren't you?
Prince: Dude, I just wanna let you know how much you inspired me.
Einstein: Here's to hopin' Cher and Madonna echo your sentiment when they arrive.
Prince: Wait, what! They're Jehovah Witnesses also?
Caesar: Okay, break it up! You guys were talkin' 'bout me, weren't you?
Heard about the goblin who has left arm and left leg cut off?
no?
That's ok he's all right now!
no?
That's ok he's all right now!
Nomad walks into a bar.
Bartender whispers to the waitress: Hide all the globes. It's a quiet Tuesday night and I wanna keep it that way.
BADecker walks into the same bar moments later.
Waitress to bartender: All bets are off. That dude just walked in with his own globe.
Bartender whispers to the waitress: Hide all the globes. It's a quiet Tuesday night and I wanna keep it that way.
BADecker walks into the same bar moments later.
Waitress to bartender: All bets are off. That dude just walked in with his own globe.
wats 9 plus 10?
19 you fucking idiot
19 you fucking idiot
Is that in Base Flat-earth or some other perspective?
wats 9 plus 10?
19 you fucking idiot
19 you fucking idiot
One Day iam crossing the road.
Suddenly I Hear a accident.
So i want to see who was accedent..
But there was many people. so i Say that the man who accident is my dead.
So people gives me to see the man.
when i go i seeee a dog where dead...
Suddenly I Hear a accident.
So i want to see who was accedent..
But there was many people. so i Say that the man who accident is my dead.
So people gives me to see the man.
when i go i seeee a dog where dead...
Teacher: Little Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?
Little Johnny answered: Drin-king, smo-king and fuc-king.
"I concur!"
Teacher: Little Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?
Little Johnny answered: Drin-king, smo-king and fuc-king.
Little Johnny answered: Drin-king, smo-king and fuc-king.
Not only is Earth my left testicle, but NASA is sending a probe to explore my right testicle for future colonization once they figure out how it'll survive passing throught the Van Allen Taint bordering my anus.
Q: What's black and blue, and hates sex?
A: The 8 year old in BADecker's trunk.
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