What about our actions? God did create a world with unlimited resources but we as humans messed it up and Satan does not get credit for any of the evil? The "murders" were God's judgement and not arbitrary. You may think so, but there was always a reason. There is such a think as "righteous anger." When the cries for justice reach Him from His people being mistreated, abused and so on His heart is moved with compassion and then He acts on it. Hence why there were wars in the Old Testament. He was protecting His people or bringing down judgement on the mistreatment of people. In the story of Sodom and Gomorrah the Bible says that “The cries of the victims in Sodom and Gomorrah are deafening; the sin of those cities is immense. I’m going down to see for myself, see if what they’re doing is as bad as it sounds." Basically the cries of the victims cause God to move and to bring judgement down, in this case fire from heaven.
The Bible says that the "Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." I think a healthy respect of God is a very wise thing. I fear Him but I know He loves me at the same time. That is why the description of God as our Father is a good comparison. A good father is one to be respected but is also one we can go to that will give us compassion and understanding. I am not sure why you have such a negative opinion of God? I guess we all have things in our life that cause us to question. But I do feel like in regards to the Bible, many people pick and choose things that they want to and get an idea of who God is based on just a few select passages without getting the whole picture.
Picking and choosing is exactly what Christians do. Pick out the good bits, ignore the bad parts or justify them away.
Fear and respect are not the same thing. You seem to be equating them here. There are people in this world who I have much respect for, but I don't fear them. If someone is trying to strike fear into me, I treat them with the contempt that they deserve. If God was real, he would deserve my contempt because of his actions in this regard.
And father's have to earn respect. Mine doesn't and he doesn't get any from me. But my parents have tried to strike fear into me continually and they are contemptible people. See how that works?
Politicians also try to strike fear into people and they deserve utter contempt likewise.
I guess it is a matter of how you look at "fear" then. I see it as a sincere reverence and humble respect of God and His position, not one in which I think He is going to strike me down just because He feels like it for no apparent reason.
Some Christians do pick and choose what they want to believe, you are right in that. Granted, there are things in the Bible that seem hard to understand. However, when the context is understood then it is easier. I know that when I read the Old Testament, for example, God seems more vengeful. I just think the cultures in those days was more vicious and warlike. There were tribes of people that were very heartless, like the Vikings lets say, and they were out to kill all other people groups without any concern for them. Perhaps God knew that their hearts were corrupt and allowed for war? That is just one example.
Seems to me like the wise thing to do in your case is to have a brutally honest discussion with God. Tell Him directly why you don't think he is fair. Tell Him why you don't think He is real. He can handle it. You might just be surprised how He answers you.
I was really upset with God several times in my life and that is what I did and His response surprised me. Instead of responding in anger, which I expected, He responded in love and compassion. I think what He wants more than anything is for us to come to Him in all honesty and just to let Him know our frustrations and true feelings. It is not like He doesn't know how we feel anyways, but He is then able to meet us right where we are at.
Just my thoughts on all this.