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Topic: What is your state on mind if your son stole your money to gamble? - page 17. (Read 3254 times)

legendary
Activity: 2170
Merit: 1789
You just reminded me how my grandma got incredibly angry when I stole 2 cents or more to play PS2 in my neighbor's house. I was so scared that I no longer play around at the house after that. Luckily my family bought me a computer so I can play games in my home. I don't think a good mother will just say "Okay fine at least you win" to her son regardless of the outcome as others have mentioned, since that is just setting up a bad precedent that might destroy his life sooner or later.

Deal with the broken trust, teach the young person how to be responsible, and come up with good ways to make sure it doesn't happen again.
This is probably what the son needs to do. The bad news is it will never 'end' in the sense that his mother will be able to trust him just like before. She will get suspicious once in a while even if he really didn't do anything but he must accept it as a consequence of breaking her trust. At the end of the day, it is almost impossible to repair a broken trust. Just like the saying goes, it takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.
sr. member
Activity: 2436
Merit: 455
My friends aunty called him on the call while we were conversing today, and  she was complaining about how her son has withdrawn #20,000 approximately $15 from her account through mobile transfer to play bet and he lost it all.
She complained bitterly and pitifully because she struggled to safe such amount of money.

Now, the mum is calling on everyone she could to intervene, discipline the child and force him to provide the money in any means he can without the concern of how he could refund the money.

Question: would she be so disheartened and mad as this if the son had won the bet on a multi million price?
Dear fellows, let's assume you are the mom, what would be your state of mind on this context?

Stealing is bad whether or not it was used in good or bad thing. Nothing can ever justify an action no matter how heavy the situation is. If you stole a money, that is counted as a sin. And every sin has its corresponding punishment and consequences even if you are blood related, no matter how small or big the amount may be. Like what they say, the end doesn't justify the means. So if I were in the aunt's place, I will still be mad because of the fact that my son had stolen something valuable from me. If he badly wants it, he could have asked. And if he badly needed it, he could have done something to gain it in proper manner.

If someone can't be trusted with small things, how much more in bigger things? It should be known to his son that his mother will get mad for doing something unlawful and shows no moral compass. Since he stole it, it is just right for him to pay back what doesn't belong to him in the first place. And this is why people have negative view on gambling. If you don't have the means to gamble, just stay put. If you can't, work your ass off to have funds to stake, and do not bother other people.
jr. member
Activity: 112
Merit: 1
The worried mother must have been upset that her son took $15 from her account to bet and then lost it. It's likely that losing money and breaking trust hurt her feelings. It's more possible that the person is mad about the illegal exit than about how the bet turned out. People might still be scared about the trust breach if the kid had won a lot of money, but they might not feel as bad about it. Deal with the broken trust, teach the young person how to be responsible, and come up with good ways to make sure it doesn't happen again.


hero member
Activity: 616
Merit: 749
Question: would she be so disheartened and mad as this if the son had won the bet on a multi million price?
Dear fellows, let's assume you are the mom, what would be your state of mind on this context?

Regardless of the outcome of the bet, I will be angry at my child for stealing from me. I won't be angry he gambled as gambling isn't a bad thing when done correctly. He might be gambling as a form of entertainment or to double his money therefore I won't be angry with him for gambling but teach him how to do it right so he doesn't get addicted and becomes a gambling addict that'll destroy his life and that of other individuals that'll be around him including my self as he'll be stealing to fulfil his gambling urges.

What he did wrong was stealing as that's a bad habit and if it grows with him, he'll be bringing shame to the family and to himself. He'll be a convicted criminal and that'll spoil his chances to become a successful individual in life. Punishing him will be what I'll do to him so he learns his lesson that stealing isn't a good character to have. Stealing to gamble is worse as it shows signs of addiction.
legendary
Activity: 2716
Merit: 1092
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Am not against my son gambling if he's up to the age of been called an adult and he must have started living on his own before he can be gambling, not staying under my roof and be competing in gambling with me whereas he's not working. That's what am against and concerned with.
You said he should play gamble when his out of your house not while you are in the same roof with home. What if he is with you and still play gamble secretly? Because a child that have started gambling does not play in your present by out of your presence. Then In such situation what will you do?

I understand that everyone has the freedom to choose whatever they want, and that includes parents who allow their children to gamble with some conditions such as the one you discussed about parents only allowing their children to gamble when they are outside the home and outside their parents' neighborhood. Honestly, I don't know why parents make rules like this, but my conclusion is that parents want to be respected by their children by implementing a rule that their children cannot gamble if they are in the neighborhood of their parents.

But on the other hand I think this rule seems to be very easy to be violated by the child, because as we know that someone who has entered into gambling activities usually finds it quite difficult to pass the time without getting involved in gambling, especially for someone who has entered the addiction phase, because over time when the child is in his parents' house it is very likely that they will experience such whispers in him that indirectly tempt to gamble, so it cannot be denied that in situations like this children may gamble while in the environment of their parents but without their knowledge.
hero member
Activity: 2114
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As a mother, I would be very angry with my son's actions, not because of his gambling, but his behavior in transferring about $15 from the account without my knowledge. Obviously, I cannot tolerate this action, because he has dared to take money without my knowledge and I consider that as stealing. I would rather he be honest and open with me than have to take the money without my knowledge.

I will not question the outcome, but I am very disappointed with his attitude of daring to steal money and it cannot be forgiven until he gets to replace all the money that has been spent. Parents have their own way of educating their children, asking them to return the money not because they don't love and care for them, but as a lesson that they have done the wrong thing.
sr. member
Activity: 504
Merit: 389
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Am not against my son gambling if he's up to the age of been called an adult and he must have started living on his own before he can be gambling, not staying under my roof and be competing in gambling with me whereas he's not working. That's what am against and concerned with.
You said he should play gamble when his out of your house not while you are in the same roof with home. What if he is with you and still play gamble secretly? Because a child that have started gambling does not play in your present by out of your presence. Then In such situation what will you do?
hero member
Activity: 3150
Merit: 636
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Forget about the what if if the kid won a million with that amount. The value is important here that when they're still young, we should teach them valuable lesson that money or anything that doesn't belongs to them shouldn't be spent by them.

That's the important matter at this point so that kids won't be tolerated. And if you've got a way to punish your kids that they're going to learn the lesson, do it.

Because that's what you're going to make them remember that what they did is wrong.
sr. member
Activity: 1554
Merit: 413
[...]Dear fellows, let's assume you are the mom, what would be your state of mind on this context?
A stern warning for first stealing offense. I would beat the shit out of him for repeat offense. My mom used to do that every time I raised my voice against her or do something stupid. I understand that this method may not be applicable to some places like the West but it keeps you disciplined. Kids know how to manipulate your softness and use that to their advantage.
sr. member
Activity: 742
Merit: 275
Stealing is never right. How it’s taken and what you need the money for that led to you stealing is totally irrelevant. Of course any responsible mother would frown at her ward stealing and would try to kill that habit in her child.
Your question on if the mother would have remained angry if the kid had won a huge amount with the money he stole. A responsible parent should not fail to reprimand their kid even if that child had won a life changing amount with money that was stolen.
There is no justifying the act of stealing and if I were the parent, my kid would be well aware of my displeasure and is sure to learn a lesson that stealing someone else’s property is never acceptable.
full member
Activity: 1148
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If i were the mom, I'd feel a mix of emotions. On one hand, I'd be relieved and grateful if my son had won, but on the other hand, I'd still be upset about him taking the money without asking. It's a tricky situation of being grateful of the son but also needing to address the issue of trust and responsibility. The character and choices matter beyond just the financial outcome. at the end of the day hes still my son. i wouldnt want him hurt
legendary
Activity: 2744
Merit: 1878
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But the question is who introduced gambling so that the child is desperate to steal money and gamble.
When already committing theft, there is a possibility that the child has been frequent enough and becomes addicted to continue gambling.

The need for parental supervision of children so that this does not happen,
because those who are underage have an unstable mentality, and any decision-making does not think about anything else.

Providing early education about the impact of gambling that is not well controlled must be done,
so that they understand and understand that gambling can not always produce.
Because the losses caused will also have an effect on their mentality.
hero member
Activity: 1526
Merit: 501
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If this... happened in my little family... To be honest, I would feel disappointed in my child, because so far I have never taught him to steal or take things that don't belong to him and lie to his parents. Moreover, he used his money to gamble.

And starting from this problem, this is a lesson for everyone and especially for me personally about how important education is in a family. and as parents we should always be able to take the time to provide education, advice and more attention to our children. Don't just do work, which never ends, make us forget that there are more important things we have to do, namely instilling kindness in our children. because it could be that children can run away to gamble and look for fun there, this is because they don't get more attention and affection from their parents. So they choose to look for new sensations that can provide pleasure.
Of course, it is always a disappointment when the member we always love responds to us with such condemnable behavior, many parents can get mad and send their children physical and mental pain so that this pain is imprinted on the children but like what you said, instead of creating such trauma, we should reconsider our love and communication, at least let the child explain and ask appropriate questions. Coldness and psychological trauma only make children more stubborn, learning to look at our children's world, we will do well our responsibilities as a father, be strict and not tolerate evil but don't show violence
sr. member
Activity: 924
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Dear fellows, let's assume you are the mom, what would be your state of mind on this context?
I'll be broken on thinking that I have failed in my duty as a mother to raise my son with good habits. Maybe due to nonchalance, I have exposed them to environment that introduced them to this gambling habit or not followed up well with them to have known the time my son started to pick interest in gambling. A mother should always know what is happening in a child's life so they can know how to guide and correct them not to make mistakes and choices that they would regret later in life.
hero member
Activity: 1260
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I understand what you meant, but the mistakes isn't always in our' sides. Some peple taught their kids to not gamble by explaining the disadvantages, but some people remain silent because they think the kids might be safer to not introduce them about gambling. Their curiosity is really high, most of them will try to discover by themselves when they heard from other people including their parents.
I agreed with that fact that kids are open to alot of external influences and if not well grounded they could easily get influenced by negative habits such as the stealing we saw in this case, so for us to be able to truly define the concept and characteristics that leads the son taking money parents to gamble with, so I may not blame the parents entirely for this.

But also we have to accept the fact that, hard it been the perants have taken the time to teach the son the danger of gambling and it addictions and how it effects our general well being, this is what would have protected the child outside since the lesson will form his mindset when he is introduced to such things outside.
sr. member
Activity: 812
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Asking for permission is a discipline that must be applied because it will be used to do everything at all ages and all needs. A person's financial condition can be weak, including teenagers who live with money that is limited by their parents every day, I don't blame their activities and needs because over time people have different needs for money, if you are used to it, of course people will get used to sharing stories and asking for loans well in very bad and urgent conditions though.

If you are not accustomed to it since childhood, of course, just to fulfill secondary needs, you can be reckless like that.

Speaking of gambling, especially by stealing it is not a solution. Of course, it will be pursued to return with a quick mind because with capital that is full of burdens. Even if it wins a lot of profit, I don't justify it and I can direct it to return and define it as bad behavior, even though it has to give a very sad illustration with defeat and long effects if it doesn't match expectations. It is better to play with your own money and refrain even if you have to deposit again, maybe in the future when you have free money.
legendary
Activity: 3500
Merit: 1354
If I was in the mother's position, of course the first thing that may come to my mind is all about anger but of course it wont resolve the main issue.
As a parent, we should evaluate why such a thing can happen, evaluate ourselves as parent if there is something wrong in the way we teach and monitor our children.
Next we should have a great communication with our son, we do not need to blame him to much but we need a deep talk from heart to heart.
Let the money go but we should not let our children down into deeper problem.
hero member
Activity: 2702
Merit: 716
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I would be really pissed off because the one thing I don't like is stealing. So if my son has stolen money then he is gonna get some nice lesson from me.
Then comes the gambling part, it depends on his age and how often he is gambling. If he can control his gambling habits then it's okay I believe.
But if he is stealing money for gambling then there's something very wrong. He must be taught a lesson, may be in a decent way but it's necessary.
hero member
Activity: 1190
Merit: 803
For me I believe that I should blame myself first before blaming the child that stole money to gamble with, reason being that for the fact that stealing is a bad thing and against the law, i will judge me first because it shows that I have failed in my parenting role to the child so the blames first fall on me and after then transferred to my child.
I understand what you meant, but the mistakes isn't always in our' sides. Some peple taught their kids to not gamble by explaining the disadvantages, but some people remain silent because they think the kids might be safer to not introduce them about gambling. Their curiosity is really high, most of them will try to discover by themselves when they heard from other people including their parents.
hero member
Activity: 1652
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No matter what the result or the game will be, stealing is bad, and any child who engages in that should be treated in accordance with the punishment they deserve.
 
I will punish the child and earn him/her not to engage in such again, and the kind of punishment and reaction from me will tell that I'm not happy and such should not repeat itself again. If you treat the person differently based on the gambling result, there is nothing that is going to stop him from doing so next time, even if he is going to lose the game.
 
I can even treat a child who uses the money I give him or her for personal use for gambling. I will get upset and react to that, but the reaction will not be as bad and hash as it will be when they steal from me.

The game results will be different,but the gambling industry will give you the jackpot one day.The gamblers should wait for the big win,he should accept all the small losses in their career.The losses doesn’t affect the gamblers at the initial stage,but the big win will change the life of the gamblers in real.The gamblers who get the loss in the game in the continuous way need to wait for the longer period,because the gamblers may do the gambling in the wrong strategy.It was important for the gamblers to get away from their strategy and build the new strategy in the gambling.The gamblers who play gambling with loan should play only with strategy.
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