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Topic: What is your state on mind if your son stole your money to gamble? - page 9. (Read 3254 times)

hero member
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Question: would she be so disheartened and mad as this if the son had won the bet on a multi million price?
Dear fellows, let's assume you are the mom, what would be your state of mind on this context?

Stealing is always stealing, no matter if it is your son or family members, and that should not be tolerated, so it is best to discipline your son or talk to him thoroughly about why it is not good and you are having a hard time earning that money. Though if your son won, then that is another topic because all of us would be happy because that is huge money but still make your son understand that stealing money or getting money without permission is not good.
hero member
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I don’t think the mother is mad about her son gambling, just the way he got the money. Stealing is a crime and if unchecked he could develop a habit for it and steal from someone who is not as sentimental and would very well call the cops. I think the mother is trying to prevent such an occurrence from happening in the future, the OP doesn’t say the age of the boy, I can only assume he’s a teenager. The family should have a sit down with the boy and let him know the consequences of his actions.
A mother will be angry when she discovers her son stole her money. Stealing is a crime, but a child must be given understanding so that he can understand that stealing is a bad act and he can be punished, and the worst is that he can go to prison. With the understanding given by his mother, father and other family members, the child will understand and will not repeat his actions. He will not steal money from his mother or other people because he already knows that stealing is bad and can be caught by the police. He doesn't want to experience that and will stay away from it. A mother will prevent this from happening again and always look after her children well.
sr. member
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I don’t think the mother is mad about her son gambling, just the way he got the money. Stealing is a crime and if unchecked he could develop a habit for it and steal from someone who is not as sentimental and would very well call the cops. I think the mother is trying to prevent such an occurrence from happening in the future, the OP doesn’t say the age of the boy, I can only assume he’s a teenager. The family should have a sit down with the boy and let him know the consequences of his actions.
sr. member
Activity: 697
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Using money that is not ours is considered the worst attitude. In a state like that where our kid uses our money secretly for the sake of gambling, is the scenario if the kid won instead of big money a proper argument? If that's the case then we should just tolerate everything since after all, there's a chance of winning big even. Sounds stupid right?

Regardless of the reason, stealing is stealing. The kid in that story highly needs proper and serious guidance.
hero member
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My friends aunty called him on the call while we were conversing today, and  she was complaining about how her son has withdrawn #20,000 approximately $15 from her account through mobile transfer to play bet and he lost it all.
She complained bitterly and pitifully because she struggled to safe such amount of money.

Now, the mum is calling on everyone she could to intervene, discipline the child and force him to provide the money in any means he can without the concern of how he could refund the money.

Question: would she be so disheartened and mad as this if the son had won the bet on a multi million price?
Dear fellows, let's assume you are the mom, what would be your state of mind on this context?

If I were in her situation, I would be angry too. Even if her son took a lot of money or a small amount, it's still not good. Her son needs to be disciplined even if we say that the child's money that he took won millions, that is still wrong, it is still called theft especially if he is of the right age because you said that he took money to gamble so I assume that her son is of legal age. When her son gets used to that, he may not be the only one to do that, the son may also do it to other people because of his addiction to gambling. So while it's still early, discipline, scold or whatever so that it doesn't happen again.
No parent would really be liking on what your son had done on which we know that stealing is never been that good no matter how small or big it is, as a parent then you would really be scolding your son about it. It is part of parenting and our responsibility on leading them into the right path. If ever they did end up on the wrong path then you would be needing it to straight.
We cant be perfect as a parent but we would really be doing our best for leading them into the right path. So if ever they would really be doing those bad things then it would be a
normal reaction for us to get angry but as a parent then we would really be just that forgetting those things on which its a normal approach and reactions to have.
full member
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My friends aunty called him on the call while we were conversing today, and  she was complaining about how her son has withdrawn #20,000 approximately $15 from her account through mobile transfer to play bet and he lost it all.
She complained bitterly and pitifully because she struggled to safe such amount of money.

Now, the mum is calling on everyone she could to intervene, discipline the child and force him to provide the money in any means he can without the concern of how he could refund the money.

Question: would she be so disheartened and mad as this if the son had won the bet on a multi million price?
Dear fellows, let's assume you are the mom, what would be your state of mind on this context?

If I were in her situation, I would be angry too. Even if her son took a lot of money or a small amount, it's still not good. Her son needs to be disciplined even if we say that the child's money that he took won millions, that is still wrong, it is still called theft especially if he is of the right age because you said that he took money to gamble so I assume that her son is of legal age. When her son gets used to that, he may not be the only one to do that, the son may also do it to other people because of his addiction to gambling. So while it's still early, discipline, scold or whatever so that it doesn't happen again.
hero member
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Although in this case I am single so this matter is very important for single people like me. In this case I would blame the parents the most because it is the parents who get their children into gambling. A child learns to master that behavior in himself by observing his parents' behavior. If a parent is a gambler then the children of those parents will also be gamblers. So the children of those parents will not easily find any alternative way to manage the gambling money other than stealing money from the father's pocket. That's why the child is not at fault but the parents do not hesitate to engage in criminal activities like stealing money from the parents' pockets to manage the child's plight and gambling money.
I disagree, unless the parents actually taught their children to gamble and to steal they cannot be held completely responsible, kids are people too, which means that they also have their own inner desires and they can be influenced by all kind of external sources too, so even if parents did everything that was on their hands to educate their children, things could go wrong if their kids take the wrong path by themselves, and while all efforts must be made in order to change this, parents can do fail on those attempts.
hero member
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Although in this case I am single so this matter is very important for single people like me. In this case I would blame the parents the most because it is the parents who get their children into gambling. A child learns to master that behavior in himself by observing his parents' behavior. If a parent is a gambler then the children of those parents will also be gamblers. So the children of those parents will not easily find any alternative way to manage the gambling money other than stealing money from the father's pocket. That's why the child is not at fault but the parents do not hesitate to engage in criminal activities like stealing money from the parents' pockets to manage the child's plight and gambling money.
Yes, parents should be blamed because they cannot educate their children well until they steal money from their parents or other people. If parents can instill awareness that stealing is against the law, children will not dare to steal because they know they will be punished. Parents should be able to provide supervision, education, and assistance to their children so that their children do not do things that could violate the law. If parents cannot do it, their children may try to do something they have never done because of the lack of education from their parents. Those who have done it before tend to do it again. They think it is interesting because they can have money even though it is wrong.
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If he would have won the bet, then definitely the reaction from the mother would have been different. I mean what does a middle class family expects from his children? To make money. If he would have made huge money from the bet, then definitely he would have been praised by the family members. Moreover he did two mistakes, first one is stealing and second one losing it all. So according to a middle class family’s way of thinking, getting this type of response and scoldings are normal I would say.
I agree with that and I'm sure most middle class parents will be happy when they see their child bringing a lot of money for him even though he has made the mistake of stealing his parents' money, but maybe there is also the other side where parents don't prioritize their children's money because it's just want their children to learn to respect their parents and control their behavior so as not to steal. There are parents who really want their children not to steal. because bad habits like that will continue until adulthood.

So we can't look at it from one point of view but look at the other side where parents need to teach their children about their stealing behavior, because gambling is very common, anyone can do it even in secret, so smart parents will probably advise them in the right way because of habit. The bad thing about stealing will always stick with him. Luckily he stole his parents' money, but if he stole other people's money it might be a different story, therefore it is important to advise children to stop their habit of stealing because if they gamble, everyone can still control it. sometimes we can't measure parents' pleasure just by money, that's all
Money may blind us to the issue, but respect and integrity cannot be overwhelmed by transitory affluence. I believe these mistakes must be addressed as a parent and ethical thinker. Yes, gambling can be enjoyable and harmless, but its important to set limits.

Stealing, even from parents, indicates deeper difficulties. Slippery slope, huh? This is the parents' wallet; tomorrow it may be even worse. The habit it creates is the issue. Indeed, smart parenting entails open, honest discussions about such actions' repercussions. Not simply fixing the current problems, but imparting lifelong principles.

Finally, embracing fun gambling as enjoyment is different from using it to hide behavioural concerns. The difference matters. Our youth must be guided wisely, realising that happiness and success are not judged by money. Risk, reward, and responsibility can be learned through entertaining, controlled gambling.
sr. member
Activity: 546
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Although in this case I am single so this matter is very important for single people like me. In this case I would blame the parents the most because it is the parents who get their children into gambling. A child learns to master that behavior in himself by observing his parents' behavior. If a parent is a gambler then the children of those parents will also be gamblers. So the children of those parents will not easily find any alternative way to manage the gambling money other than stealing money from the father's pocket. That's why the child is not at fault but the parents do not hesitate to engage in criminal activities like stealing money from the parents' pockets to manage the child's plight and gambling money.
hero member
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<..snip..>
Question: would she be so disheartened and mad as this if the son had won the bet on a multi million price?
Dear fellows, let's assume you are the mom, what would be your state of mind on this context?

If I were the mom, I would definitely be upset regardless of the outcome.

The fact that my son is capable of stealing on my money without any prior permission violates any kind of moral decency. If he/she has the guts to steal money, what more evil things that he/she may do? Sure, he has won millions in gambling but that does not change the fact that he/she was able to do it to his own mother.

Gambling can definitely bring the best/worst on a person depending on the outcome. There are lots of learnings that one may experience- they can see the true colors of a person especially if they hit rock-bottom; and you can also experience the best of a person by sharing the winnings immediately after winning.

Deep sentiment of failure. As parents, we have the obligation to educate well our children and prepare them for a sometimes difficult life, full of beautiful but also dangerous things.

Drugs, gambling, algorithms... have some well known risks if misused.

We cannot control the environment (friends, media, availability of such potentially addictive things), but I think that I'd feel guilty for not having done enough to educate well a son or daughter who did that, even if I had done everything that would have been in my hands.

I definitely agree with your statement.

As parents, we have the obligation to nurture our children in bringing the best into their welfare. If we expose them in a potentially dangerous environment surrounded by vices and violence, it is natural for them to associate themselves with this kind of environment.
legendary
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If he would have won the bet, then definitely the reaction from the mother would have been different. I mean what does a middle class family expects from his children? To make money. If he would have made huge money from the bet, then definitely he would have been praised by the family members. Moreover he did two mistakes, first one is stealing and second one losing it all. So according to a middle class family’s way of thinking, getting this type of response and scoldings are normal I would say.
I agree with that and I'm sure most middle class parents will be happy when they see their child bringing a lot of money for him even though he has made the mistake of stealing his parents' money, but maybe there is also the other side where parents don't prioritize their children's money because it's just want their children to learn to respect their parents and control their behavior so as not to steal. There are parents who really want their children not to steal. because bad habits like that will continue until adulthood.

So we can't look at it from one point of view but look at the other side where parents need to teach their children about their stealing behavior, because gambling is very common, anyone can do it even in secret, so smart parents will probably advise them in the right way because of habit. The bad thing about stealing will always stick with him. Luckily he stole his parents' money, but if he stole other people's money it might be a different story, therefore it is important to advise children to stop their habit of stealing because if they gamble, everyone can still control it. sometimes we can't measure parents' pleasure just by money, that's all
sr. member
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The first question we should point out is how did she train the child or maybe he learnt such habit from school, church etc cause nowadays peer pressure has affected children either the positive or negative way. Such child should be discipline for his action and they should make sure he never repeat such act again. If no proper care is taken at this early stage he will start stealing outside to satisfy his desire to gamble and it will be very difficult to handle.
The child winning or not has nothing to do with the mom except she supported his action from the start but since she never supported him the winning or loss should not hinder the discipline process.

When a child's behaviour goes into such dire situations, it must be understood that the child must have learned from watching the behaviour of others, he may be influenced by the friends around him. Parents should create the right environment for children. If they can observe where their children go and who are the companion, then they cannot make such a big mistake. Here the child's guardian may have a callousness.  If doing any such thing then that child should be understood. He has to be brought back by understanding. The parent needs to know why he is drawn to gambling. If a child steals money, parents cannot solve by getting angry, but he must change his environment.
legendary
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-snip-

Question: would she be so disheartened and mad as this if the son had won the bet on a multi million price?
Dear fellows, let's assume you are the mom, what would be your state of mind on this context?

Deep sentiment of failure. As parents, we have the obligation to educate well our children and prepare them for a sometimes difficult life, full of beautiful but also dangerous things.

Drugs, gambling, algorithms... have some well known risks if misused.

We cannot control the environment (friends, media, availability of such potentially addictive things), but I think that I'd feel guilty for not having done enough to educate well a son or daughter who did that, even if I had done everything that would have been in my hands.
legendary
Activity: 2422
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If he would have won the bet, then definitely the reaction from the mother would have been different. I mean what does a middle class family expects from his children? To make money. If he would have made huge money from the bet, then definitely he would have been praised by the family members. Moreover he did two mistakes, first one is stealing and second one losing it all. So according to a middle class family’s way of thinking, getting this type of response and scoldings are normal I would say.
You are definitely right about what the reaction of the parents would have been if the child had won a huge amount of money from that bet, the parents possibly would have praised him, but that would have been a wrong thing to do after all, because, regardless of whether the bet was lost or won, stealing is stealing and should be totally condemned.

If assuming the child had won the bet, as well as double the money he stole from his parents by multiple X's, the parents would have possibly praise him, but that also would have been the directly and or indirectly encouraging the child to keep stealing to gamble, and this could in no long time, ultimately destroy the child and his future.

So, for me, it is mandatory for a child to be scolded big time when ever he or she does what is not appropriate, to deter such a child from doing same next time..
legendary
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It depends on his age and what type of a son he is, some child need scolding while some needs to be sat down and talk to, so it depends on which type of a father you are, as every parents have different ways of handling their children.

If he is up to the age it's better to have some discussion with him, maybe he will listen, if you discipline him in another manner he will probably start fearing you and start hiding things from you, better start with talking to him and make him realize the dangers that awaits every gamblers.

Educate them, teach them what you know about gambling and make sure they get used to risking very small amount of money, and the last part is to always keep an eye on such child, know the type of friends they keep, because it's possible that they get to start gambling through the friends they are keeping.
Though you are right that one should see what type of a child it is, I believe a child that doesn't need scolding wouldn't do something like this. Mostly, children who are spoilt by their parents or at least one parent tend to do such things because they don't have any fear of getting beaten or scolded since the parents always encourage them even when they make a mistake or do a bad thing. Such parents deserve such treatment in my opinion.

When you are parenting a child, you are supposed to teach them what's good and what's bad, this includes good and bad manners and everything else, and if you fail in doing that, and then you find your children doing wrong things, you are supposed to blame yourself and not the children because it was your responsibility to show them the right path.


It was your responsibility indeed, as being the guide for your child you need to supply correct information for your children, when you hear or when you discover such things that happen like this, you should take the ownership of your child's behavior, taking the blame instead of punishing the child, you must understand that the need of proper guidance will always start inside your house.

Though there are many factors and influences but you should be ready to try your best to make things right, while you can still help them to avoid or prevent pushing their way to this wrong doing.
hero member
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Look, gambling understanding has advanced. It's 2024. This is no ordinary game of chance, but a complicated psychological dance. Using your own money? Respect your rights, but remember to act responsibly. Are you in control or does gambling control you?

Gambling becomes a need when it becomes more than just amusement. Keeping this habit by stealing? This is a symptom of a bigger issue. Mental health, not just law, is at stake. Denial won't help an addict. No judgment - just admitting the issue and finding solutions. Admitting a problem is the first step to recovery. Don't glorify or demonise gambling; instead, take it seriously.

One of the best replies that makes sense.
But the problem is, that most of us gamble and want to win money. Even though we say that we gamble for fun, how many of us really do it for fun only? People wouldn't have been addicted if they were playing for fun. They were playing seriously and when they lost money, they played more so they could recover.

I have said before that the phrase Play for fun is not invented by any gambler. That was probably started by the casino owners or their staff. Whoever steals money for gambling, it's bad. No matter if it's a kid or an adult.
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Mother is the source of luck and never transfer that luck to the bookie. The behavior of stealing money belonging to parents to gamble is completely wrong, the child must apologize sincerely and must promise not to repeat it again. Even though winning millions of dollars while betting from gambling, that doesn't justify his stealing behavior, I think those are two very different things. Today the child steals at home, belonging to his mother or family members, it is very possible that in the future he will steal other people's property or even commit group crimes. That is why it is necessary to discipline children by providing gentle understanding, which can be understood well, and he realizes where he made mistakes.

It is very difficult to discipline children when they become addicted to gambling, we really understand how this cycle will continue to repeat itself and the impact will be huge in the future. Advise children that there is no future in gambling, everything seems dark, all hope of luck is just an illusion, never be curious to try it, and never steal for any reason.
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This boy needs strict upbringing, and someone must discipline him
Parents are supposed to monitor everything their children use, starting from their clothes to their toys, and they must ask for permission before they touch things that are not theirs, but here the opposite happened, since he stole the card to bet, so he knows a lot about betting. How could the son steal the card if his  mother was watching him
In our time, parents must raise their children strictly, or the children will become the ones who raise the parents
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It depends on his age and what type of a son he is, some child need scolding while some needs to be sat down and talk to, so it depends on which type of a father you are, as every parents have different ways of handling their children.

It depends on some other facts as well like where are you, how is your society, and many more. Gambling is a common thing in some societies where almost every adult gamble and they do not forbid their grown-up children to gamble. If you talk about my society, he did two offenses at the same time. Stealing is bad regardless of where are you from. But, some parents tolerate it when their kids gamble.

If you talk about my society, gambling, and stealing, both are forbidden and punishable offenses. Gambling is not allowed at all. Let's say I didn't tell my son anything about gambling, but if he gets caught gambling, he will be punished I won't be able to help him. so, it is my responsbility to guide him no matter how.
I think that any gambling is a bad thing in the eyes of society, although it is possible that up to now there are still many people who gamble, society has no right to prohibit it as long as gambling is legal in their country. Moreover, gambling is not a bad game if it is played correctly, but if it is gambling you play it carelessly you can becomed addict to gambling. If a child gambles with money he stole from his parent then this should be strictly enforced because this action is very wrong, they can gamble but use their from his own hard earn money.

Sometime it is the behavior of people like this that lead public opinion that gambling is a bad thing even though it is irresponsible individual who use their gambling so that it has a bad impacts, and you cannot equate gambling with theft because theft is worse than gambling, we probably see people more often a thief who is in prison is compared to a gamblers who is in prison if someone does not make a fatal mistake in their gambling. In this case parent are the ones who playing a role in educating their childrens not to steal.
Well if we do speak with those approach then it would really be just that normal and it has been on ages on where gambling does really have this kind of impression in towards that negativity on which it is really just that right or really just that not shocking anymore. Its true that its none others business if you do play gambling as long you are really just that making use of your own money. It turns really out that
those people who are really that comes into that kind of addiction on which they did really be able to reach out those conditions that they are already doing such act on which it isnt really supposed
to be done in the first place.

On the time that your son did really opt to steal money or something just for them to gamble, then this is a solid indication that he is already that addicted to gambling on which
it did really comes into a point that they are already having those stealing activity on which its not something good at all. Once you do able to mind
about criminal acts then it would be best that you should stop it right away or as much as possible.
Look, gambling understanding has advanced. It's 2024. This is no ordinary game of chance, but a complicated psychological dance. Using your own money? Respect your rights, but remember to act responsibly. Are you in control or does gambling control you?

Gambling becomes a need when it becomes more than just amusement. Keeping this habit by stealing? This is a symptom of a bigger issue. Mental health, not just law, is at stake. Denial won't help an addict. No judgment - just admitting the issue and finding solutions. Admitting a problem is the first step to recovery. Don't glorify or demonise gambling; instead, take it seriously.
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