Topic: Who should quit, and why? - page 12. (Read 2661 times)

pay attention to the word I marked that this is about being selfish or not.
I mean, even though a husband and wife already have children, they will not stop gambling if they have been gambling for too long and it is not easy to avoid gambling directly, of course it requires strong encouragement from one of the husband or wife. so for me, stopping both is very difficult unless one of them has the idea to stop gambling and in my opinion it is more effective if the husband starts to stop gambling then after the husband has successfully stopped gambling he can provide education to the wife to stop gambling and focus on taking care of her child.

sometimes this selfishness is what prevents both parties from having difficulty leaving gambling because usually there are thoughts like I will stop if my wife stops and conversely the wife thinks that she will stop if her husband stops gambling. this kind of selfishness can destroy the future of the family and their children and this requires help from other parties such as siblings or parents who can help solve this problem.
It's not very good if you are married but your husband and wife are still gambling which can destroy their family or maybe the worst thing is divorce because they lose a lot of money and blame each other.

It was not just uncertain way but it was not considered as a source of income unless you are the owner of the casino. But since we are just a gambler, we can't expect that we can win over the house that is why gambling is for entertainment, nothing else. So why is good for one of them to quit it is because as they continue gambling there is a big chance of falling into addiction and we know the impact on our finances and family relationships and much more if we have kids already. While it never happens yet, someone must do it or both of them will stop.

Yes, you are right, should both stop gambling in order to be good parents for your children, but if a husband and wife don't have children yet and they still have enough money for their daily needs, I think it doesn't matter if husband and wife do it as long as they have more and the same budget both can remind each other and can control themselves and the most important thing is that they don't become addicted to gambling because if both husband and wife are addicted then this will not be good, especially for the future of their household.

However, if you already have children, it is better for both husband and wife to stop together and the money that is usually used for gambling can be used to make life insurance for the future of their children and themselves or use it for the needs of their family or children so that by having children their parents' instincts will definitely run smoothly. as a parent, you definitely want to do the best for your child and not selfish and only think about your own pleasure.

Here bro our friend also had the same thought as me hahaha. I mean its totally fine do gamble even with tight budget but I think it much wiser to choose something else like slot on play store that not involves money. and what gonna happen if their kids now what their parent doing?

Since gambling is an uncertain way of earning money, it must be dangerous if both husband and wife are addicted to gambling. Because if two people always lose then there will be problem in managing their family life. On the other hand after losing from gambling then behavior changes so there may be internal fights. Even the married life of two people can be different so it is natural for either one to gamble. But if they own a lot of money they can gamble freely but in my opinion you should not let the influence of gambling fall on your family.

Doesnt matter on which one would really be quitting up because on the time that both husband and wife are already that addicted with gambling then expect that it would really be a long time type of discussion or even quarrel or whatever kind of talking on whose the one to quit or wont really be talking at all about quitting since both are really that interested nor really that like on doing gambling.
This is why on this kind of particular situation or condition then letting them be on what are the things that they've been doing, they are the ones who do create their own fate towards finances
because time comes that everything would be messing up not just like on financial state but also with family relationship too as we do know that it would really be that compromises out such
thing on such condition.

I don't think so that the husband can easily obey what his wife would tell him to stop into gambling. I've seen a lot like the situation you mentioned where husbands and wives keep fighting because of gambling and of course, the money that the husband spent to feed his gambling addiction. I’ve also witnessed a lot of scenarios where they sell all their assets just to bet and to feed their habit of gambling. The time will happen that they were amid deprivation and they were close of being broke. So, while it's still early you should be aware of the limitations and what may happen when you enter this gambling activity.

But if the husband is responsible for balancing his gambling time and his family time then there is no problem. Just like I said in my previous post in this forum, maybe they can make better teamwork and they still have time to make playing as their bonding as a couple.

My advice to all gamblers whether male or female you should avoid chasing losses and never gamble with money that you should spend for your living expenses.

I have meet few gamblers that are very good at controlling themselves around gambling and they are doing so well in life, if the both partners are good at controlling their gambling desires then there is no problem, you should only start to worry if your partner is risking too much on gambling, I would love my partner to keep a watch on me, I can even have them beside me when I want to gamble, its for the best.

I actually don't have any gambling problem but if you are already married and you feel the need to be under watch, ask your partner to do it for you, thinking that you can become a millionaire in gambling is very normal in the lives of gamblers, and thats why many of them are riped off.

You can't beat the house, atleast not always, so you should not rely on something that isnt requiring your skills to beat the game, its you and how lucky you will be, invest your money more and gamble very less, I have my reason for saying this, its sadly the way that gambling is programmed.

Sure, you've got your beliefs, and I respect that. But people engage in all sorts of activities that carry risks - heck, driving a car comes with its share of dangers. Does that mean we stop driving? No! We learn to drive safely. The same applies to gambling. It's a form of entertainment, an adrenaline rush, a way to unwind. If someone’s responsible, knows their limits, why the heck should they stop?

Now, about the impact on family - let's not paint everyone with the same brush. I’ve seen folks who gamble and still maintain a happy, healthy family life. It's all about moderation. You're worried about a gambler turning stubborn, argumentative? Well, guess what? That can happen with any hobby taken to the extreme, not just gambling. The key is knowing when to stop. And who are we to dictate how others find their joy? If gambling is their escape, their slice of excitement in a mundane routine, who's to say that's wrong? Life's short; let people have their fun!

Without a doubt, yes they can live their lives how they want especially if they are rich.
IMO, I still want the other one to be clean. It's not because I am stopping her or myself but it's because if something goes wrong at least there will be one to pull his/her better half into that doom that he/she is about to be buried. Gambling addiction.
I understand that if a husband and wife can afford it then who are we to stop them? I just believe that there must be a good thing that the kids will look up to. In terms of behavior, a lot of bad emotions do come out when we are gambling and if I am the one who will stop while my wife continues, I will be the one who will tell her to keep the anger to herself and don't let the kids hear all the bad words that will come out of her mouth.
That's what happens in my case, there are moments when I cannot control my emotions and my wife will come in to tell me that I should keep my voice down so the kids won't hear me.
I guess the question of OP is on a case-to-case basis but being responsible parents, I think one gambler should suffice or they can switch places and create a schedule.

i can agree with you here. because before they know it, their kids are already into gambling and it will be too late to alter their lifestyle. they can still gamble from time to time, like for recreational purposes. if they do want to bet on their favourite teams or athletes, or play some casinos classics in some relaxing days just to have some family fun.

but if they will venture into the gambling world on a serious path. both parties, the mother and the father should understand the possible repercussions not only for themselves but as a family. they need to consider all angles in this lifestyle. and they should be ready for whatever consequences they may encounter.

otherwise, if they can't bear those consequences, better think fast and change their path. before each of them blame about the fate of their family or before they see it in their own eyes how their family is slowly falling apart.

I think the answer is clear that the better and the right thing is that if possible then both of them should stop, that's the better thing that should be chosen by both of them if someone asks a question like this. However and no matter how good the financial management they have, if they are still involved in gambling, it is clear that there will be an allocation of money that should not be done, or simply they will find it easier to manage and meet the needs of the family including their children if they have never been involved in gambling, because obviously in terms of money it will definitely be more efficient.

Yes, instead of putting the money into gambling which certainly has a big risk and is always unpredictable, it is clearly better for them to save the money for other purposes in the future such as for the needs of their children or retirement and also including for urgent situations and conditions that require them to have money in sudden conditions. Yes if they already have money saved for future needs then there is nothing wrong if they don't stop but I think however if they can it is better to just stop, gambling uses money and it could be that one day they take the money saved for gambling.

Why do you think they should live their lives in a "delayed life" mode? Life is given only once and each of us has the right to choose how we spend our leisure time. It is necessary to live here and now, and not to think about tomorrow, because for someone tomorrow may not come.

If the spouses do not have problems financially and gambling does not create problems for them, they can both continue to gamble.

The gender-based strategy to risk-taking and gambling you propose makes no sense. First, the claim that women are less risk-taking than men is untrue and creates negative stereotypes. Future societies acknowledge that risk behavior is individual, not gender-specific.

Second, believing a wife's gambling abstinence will affect her husband or son-in-law is wrong. Healthy gambling requires personal responsibility and understanding one's actions, not just following others. Problem gambling should be treated by professionals and supportive communities regardless of gender.

Pressuring someone to change their gambling habits is unproductive. It overlooks addiction's complexity and the necessity for supportive, knowledgeable treatment. Instead of pressure or gender-based decisions, awareness, support, and professional intervention lead to healthy change.

Who should quit, and why? in the case of where both spouses are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, and my answer is they both should quit but first of all, is that possible that they can still manage their household finance if they both do gamble especially if they already have kids?

and the reason why is simply they should prepare for their kids and money for retirement, but if the money for retire and money for their kids is available i think should be fine do gamble with a budget

A married life with kids already is different from being single or a couple without kids. In this situation, if not both will stop, at least the wife will let go of her gambling habits and focus on her obligation as a wife and a mother. She should spend ample time on the family rather than pleasing herself in gambling because honestly, it doesn't look good to their kids. As a parent, we should look at the welfare of our family, not just ourselves, and most of all, we have to become responsible as these kids will become a mirror of what we are doing.

Why do you say that? Are you sure that nothing bad will happen if a couple still likes to gamble?
I myself prefer to quit gambling especially if I already have a child, because no matter how well we maintain our gambling habits, there will certainly be an impact later on young children. because gambling can also change a person's behavior to be bad and maybe other people can also be affected and this is certainly not desired by myself. therefore gambling also destroys harmonious relationships, where a family can be destroyed just because of someone who is addicted to gambling, if all members are addicted to gambling, maybe there will be no peaceful life.

If a family is destroyed because of gambling it is not good, family relationships can be destroyed because of one person who is addicted to gambling, where this person may experience a change in attitude and it could also be that he will become a stubborn person, like to argue and not think about the big risks that will occur. try to think again why you suggest not to stop gambling. because in my opinion there is no connection between someone who has been gambling for a long time must stop gambling. someone who stops gambling because he wants a change for the better, no matter how long he has been gambling, that is not a good reason.

A gambling addict husband can be stopped by his wife from gambling. Because every husband listens to his wife, so I think if a wife can explain the bad aspects of gambling to her husband well then it seems that a gambling addict can quit gambling very soon.  I have seen some family's husband and wife could not be happy in their family life due to gambling, they are always fighting and quarreling. We all know that gambling is not a good thing but still we become addicted to gambling without accepting it.

Well, we know that gambling is for everyone, it just depends on how responsible you are when you are gambling. From your case OP, you have mentioned that both parties are gambling and also they have a child, from the fact that you have a child and both of you are risking your money, just imagine what would happen in case of emergency, how can you provide all the needs of your child. In this case, it would depend on the situation, cause one might have a gambling addiction and won't stop even if another one has already stopped, which can cause conflict. As a partner, they should know to stop for the sake of the family, children must rely upon them so they must sacrifice their habits and enjoyment for the betterment financially.

OP did not mention in her post that she is gambling after taking care of the household chores and children, rather she shared that her husband and she gambled in her family. If her husband did not like his wife's gambling, he would not gamble. They may be enjoying gambling as a couple so it may not be right to ask them to give up gambling. If they both experience gambling problems, the two of them can decide who should spend more time gambling and who should spend more time on other activities. If the family depends on the husband's money, if the husband thinks that one of them should gamble, then the husband may gamble by preventing the wife from gambling. I think it's totally their personal decision and they can discuss it together and take a better decision.