Topic: Who should quit, and why? - page 21. (Read 2670 times)

A household where both husband and wife are gambling addicts sounds like a good beginning to a Hollywood movie. I can only imagine the kind of issues they would have. I’m not sure what the proper way for one of them to quit would be. Seems like it would be better if they both quit and were there for each other as a support system.

It is very simple, the couple must gamble responsibly.  Engaging in gambling activity does not instantly means that these people will be in financial ruins.  People who are able to control themselves and moderate their gambling activity often don't find any problem whine venturing in gambling.


It would greatly help because one of the couple had stop spending money to gambling but, if they full control their gambling activity, I believe there is no need for any of them to stop.  As long as they can maintain their living at the maximum capacity, then I think it makes no difference if one of them quit or not.

maybe there are married couples who gamble together but I am very sure that they dont have financial problems, you could say they are rich because usually woman finds it difficult to gamble and chooses to shop for daily necessities, but if there  a woman who gambles while her partner also does it surely they are rich people who are confused about how to waste their money.
it not surprising that happens and I am pretty sure it very rare for something like this to happen even though I am a gambler, my wife does not want to do it for the reason that its better for her money to buy necessities or shop for beauty.

IMO, if the question was just a story, maybe the male partner would give in to quit gambling for his partner and take his wife away from gambling.

This is quite hard if it's affecting a little kid with these hobbies of yours. But isn't this a positive thing knowing that both of you gambles and you understand each other when you gamble?

It's just going to play differently if both of you are starting to neglect your parental duties and as well as the household incomes being affected with gambling.

For example, that when someone is craving to gamble and there goes the budget for groceries. One intended to gamble with the grocery budget without telling it to the significant other. With that secret, that's where the other losses trust and so a trust issue will appear.

Actually, that would not be a problem if the husband and wife both control themselves when it comes to gambling. I can say this because my aunt and uncle are like this, they are both gamblers but maybe it would be better if they both quit gambling like my aunt and uncle did, they both quit gambling so they can focus on their children well because it is growing too.

Both must quit their gambling activities. A husband is the backbone of the family, he is obliged to earn a living and ensure the life of his family and he cannot if he only relies on gambling to be able to provide for his family. Because gambling has a high risk and does not guarantee that every time we play, we will get a win. Meanwhile, children and wives need to eat every day and not to mention other household needs and their children's school fees. So that a husband is required to have a job or a business that can indeed make money to answer all the needs of his family.

Likewise with a wife, she must leave her gambling activities because there are children she must take care of, there are children who really need attention and love from their mother.

And if both of them cannot stop their gambling activities, or control these activities. I worry that the family will be fine. And I'm also quite worried about the child's development.

This greatly depends on the following

• what is their motive for gambling?
• how well do they manage their time?

If their motivation for gambling is strictly base on entertainment and fun, making one partner quit to take care of the family's affair would not be fair enough. Gambling for fun means they have their jobs which generates income needed to run the family. This means the tendency of being addicted is low. Gambling for fun will really spice up their marriage. No one needs to quit, all they need to do is to make sure they gamble responsibly so it does not affect their jobs, kids, other family members and friends.

But if on the other hand their aim of gambling is to raise money to sustain the family, then one partner which is the wife has to quit gambling and pay attention to the family affairs.  Both partners being involved in gambling means a lot of family funds will go into gambling which is not healthy. I know a lot of people will say they can gamble responsibly but it's not easy for people who see gambling as their primary source of income to gamble responsibly. Addiction might set in and the entire family will suffer the consequences.

If there is still an option and if gambling habits are still bearable then no one has to quit but both should manage their finances in a better way. But if things got out of hand, then both should quit. Why? one would be envious and there will be no equality on this matter for that couple. They should make the choice; either to make adjustments for both of them or to totally quit.Problem is envy which could open another argument. Let's say one is more profitable but given that in gambling, nothing is consistent, then there'll be times that he/she would lose. This is where misunderstanding could arise between the couple.

How about thinking of it from a perspective where both gamblers are experienced in gambling? One side doesn't have to feel bad for losing a few bucks in gambling. They both need to caution themselves on that. I'd say instead of quitting, they can play together and communicate about maintaining their habit. In your context, if the wife always has a mood swing after gambling, it's best to stop her, so that she won't get sad on the kids. They can still be playing, and maintain a rule of keeping the kids out of it. What is most important is to take the responsibility of the home most seriously. And gambling is a secondary priority. I prefer a family with both parents gamblers than one parent a gambler. In the later, the one person will hide his habit from his wife, just like most forum members testified, that they hide being a gambler from their wife. So, if the gambler loses a whooping amount, he'll lie to the wife about using it for something else. Which is not conducive to the growth of the family. On the contrary, both parents will easily flow together and watch each other gamble. Advising themselves on how much to stake each month. The kids won't find out about this unless their parents are compulsive gamblers, they can begin to suspect the chaos happening between their parents.

I never thought of this situation before, and this is a great question actually. With regards to husband and wife, it's both of your responsibility to take care of each other and so if gambling takes a piece of time where you are supposed to be in bed, table, or even fetch the kids from school then it should be stop. BUT let's say you are both in gambling, I'd say if it doesn't affect your lives as husband and wife, or as being parent I think it's only fine to find your entertainment with gambling. WHO SHOULD STOP? I guess this is something that both of you need to talk about, sit and talk. Bottomline, if it doesn't affect your relationship/responsibilities I think it's fine.

Gambling can be a vice and can be abused. If both people in a marriage give in and push each other, likelyhood of abuse just grows.
However, in many cultures gambling is done socially. I think the exception here can be that in social conditions the aspect of gambling that is done just for fun instead of Greece can be maintained more easily. So I would say try to keep it social and if not possible just maybe cut it off completely.

I think this kind of problem depends on how a person or married couple controls their gambling properly, both from money management and sort of as a basis for having the principle of responsible gambling that will go well without stopping their gambling activities.

But if indeed one of them has an impulsive nature and the other is not too addicted, in my opinion, the easier one to stop is the best choice, to maintain family stability, but it will be quite difficult if both of them have a gambling addiction, I hope cases like this do not happen anywhere, because the impact is very bad on the family relationship.

If both of them are gamblers than maybe they should choose a game that suits both and the winner keeps on gambling while the loser has to quit. Gamblers should gamble over it, right?
Consider the above only if you really have to choose one person to do it because IMO it's important to live in a healthy relationship. You don't want your wife to be sad and depressed because she lost against you and now has to quit gambling.

If we really had to do it, for instance to keep the kids out of it, we would be quitting together. Gambling shouldn't mean the world to you and you shouldn't put it above your family relations.
Either keep playing like you do and don't make it into a situation where only one of you has to quit, or quit together.

I don't wish to marry a gambler because don't want gambling to become a family affair. Both of us would be discussing gambling and the children might become knowledgeable about gambling at a very tender age. But if I finally marry a gambler, I will be pleased if my spouse is a skillful and responsible gambler. If the person gambles responsibly and is proficient in some games, I think it will be fun and profitable. But we have to ensure that we keep our gambling life secret from the kids until they become mature. We also have to ensure that our gambling activities don't affect the attention we give to the family.

However, I think the female spouse should quit if that I the best option. This is because she is more engaged in children's upbringing and other family affairs. But she can always give gambling advice to her husband if she is sound in gambling.

What is the problem if both of them are gamblers? I think that is fine, since they are responsible gamblers who don't put their hobby above their duties as husband, wife and father, mother. Everyone needs some leisure time away from the burden of daily life and even from their children, so let gambling be part of their happy hour. If gambling is having a positive impact on their routines and making it even more functional than before, it really looks like they found what they needed to improve their lifestyle.

However, if they are losing control and going too high on gambling, I think the one who should quit first is the householder of the relationship. Nowadays it's hard to say who is this, since women and men are talking from equal to equal, so each couple has to be analyzed individually.

If quitting gambling comes from inside, is determined, and will find a way to stop it, that's good, and it will be easy to quit. But if there is no determination or willingness, obviously, it will be difficult for any of them to quit gambling.

Then it is not good for the couple that they both have a gambling addiction. Because, for sure, that is not far from being the root cause of their separation as a couple; in short, there is also a high chance that gambling will be the way for them to break their relationship as partners.

Usually, the one who will stop is his wife because his wife takes care of the household. It is rare for a husband to take care of the household and more for his wife to handle it. But if there is communication between the two about who should stop, that's good because they can both still control themselves when gambling.

In general, the husband is in charge of earning a living so that his wife stays at home and takes care of the household and also takes care of the children. But if neither of them is willing to give in for the sake of their household, there might be a fight between the husband and wife.

But I have never found a husband and wife who gamble and become gamblers. Usually, only husbands gamble, and even then their husbands gamble secretly hahaha.

Neither Husband Nor wife because they are not supposed to gamble to make a life out of it and if they do then they are fu*ked up already.

If quitting is an option then both should be the right choice because it is not fair to lose something by one while partner not willing to sacrifice but honestly speaking the marriage won't work for too long so the kid has to find a good foster home.

It should be understood that a family is a union, first of all, of equal people. The wife does not owe anyone anything. If the husband plays, the wife has the right to do so as well. If the husband cheats on his wife, the wife has the right to cheat on her husband. If both are players, the less successful player must stop

It is better if both of them quit but if they can afford and they can allocate a portion of their income and treat gambling as entertainment, then they can play together
so they can remind each other if they are playing beyond their limit, the most important thing is they know their limitation in gambling and they are responsible enough to see to it that they are going to be ok.
Gambling is a high-risk kind of entertainment so husband and wife should see to it that both of them will not fall into the trap of addiction, they should always think of the welfare of their family.