Topic: Who should quit, and why? - page 18. (Read 2441 times)

It seems that cases like this are quite rare but there must be some out there. You are the head of the family and that means you have the power for every decision you want to make especially in your family relationship, a good decision but not that easy, your wife can reject the decision of you telling her to stop right? it is possible, especially if your wife is already involved with a high level of gambling or almost touching addiction. And the other thing is that it could be that your wife turns all the decisions over to you, or I mean she also wants you to quit the gambling activity, limiting is good but I think it's better if you can agree to quit together, but on the other hand it all depends on you and your wife especially in terms of approach in solving the problem.

I don't think there is a better choice between who should quit in a case like this than both quitting at the same time. The husband acts as a breadwinner and with his gambling habit it could be that the family experiences a decline in the economy or means a lack of money to meet needs, and if the husband stops and his wife does not then another possibility is that the money given by the husband for the needs of the kitchen and his children could be diverted to gambling by his wife.

This is a tie, I mean both of them are in this mess together as a couple and whatever they are doing about it, they must do it together, else the marriage is even at risk. Peradventure one of them quits the gambling for the other, the quitting partner might start seeing the other person a wasteful, unserious and irresponsible partner considering the level of addiction they might have reached earlier. They need each other's support in sanitizing their home and remember that these kids copy everything they see their parents doing very fast. From my own point of view, they cannot support themselves properly if only one party quits and the other continues. The best way is for the couple to quit out rightly in the interest of the family while they support each other positively in the journey of their rehabilitation. it is not an easy decision, but in my opinion, its probably the best decision for the sanity of the family.

You sounds like gambling is bad for someone who's already married especially if they already have a child. If you worried your child might become a gambler before he reach 18 years old, you must avoid to gamble in front your kids.

What about this one: Do you completely stop having sex with your wife after your is kids born? I believe the answer is no, but you did it when your kids is sleeping/away and you avoid to discuss about sex in front your kids.

Previously, I had never encountered a husband and wife who actively gambled. If this incident happened to my family or relatives, I would ask the wife to stop gambling. The reason is of course to have more time to take care of the house and children. Husbands must also be able to limit gambling activities by leaving time to earn a living to meet family needs. Being active in gambling places is fine, but there are other responsibilities that need to be taken into account, if husband and wife always spend time gambling, then who will take care of their children.

That's a tricky situation. There can be justification that both of them are responsible gamblers and parents and they are not neglecting their duties to their kids. But at the same time, if you're going to realize that they're in a bad situation if it's going to affect their parenthood and the kids will see that they're gamblers, I think that's the time that they need to adjust. But are they going to continue while the kids won't ask questions related to gambling because they can see that their parents are gambling? I don't know, I am not yet in that situation so for me only time can tell how they're going to adjust to the situation.

Being a parent with a lot of obligations needs to weigh a lot of things and people might say that they're not earning with gambling. Let's get real guys there are people who truly see gambling as a source of income and they are united on it because they both know the ins and outs of it. They won't get married not knowing that they're gambling or probably they even met because of a casino or both of them is their hobby. Proper communication should be done on this part, maybe a give and take for both of them. Today, the guy can gamble and tomorrow it's the wife. Something like that and I believe that things like this can be sort with any possible good solution.

I think this has never been discussed in this forum, if I were a husband who had a wife who gambled maybe I would stop gambling for the sake of the child because I know that my wife will definitely follow me in the end, after all why have the same habit when Gambling is actually not the only way to find entertainment, women can get lots of entertainment, for example going to the salon or shopping instead of gambling.

Personally, I probably wouldn't be looking for a wife who is a gambler because that wouldn't be good for me and my child. The point is, if my wife and I still want to gamble, make sure we don't pay attention to our children at all and never show them gambling. and bad habits towards children, but if that can't be done, it's best to start from yourself. the fact is that my wife is not a gambler but she is good at managing all my gambling budgets.  

If your answer doesn't make sense then why continue? Lol. But, if you choose man, you will also look biased because you are also a man . So indeed that it was hard to decide. But, why can we just choose both? It will also help the couple because the other will be jealous if one will only quit and the other stays the same. They can have different opinions or alibi's on why they deserved to continue but gambling is not the best solution for those.

It will be better if they find much better, or they will just face those problems they currently experiencing, (if ever they have). I already answered it and others too, so there is no need for a professional here.

Its critical to acknowledge the seriousness of the situation while discussing gambling in a married setting, particularly when children are involved. Can both partners bet sensibly without endangering their cash and family time? Very unlikely. How come? Due to its intrinsic unpredictability and addictive nature, gambling frequently progresses beyond light amusement.

Think about this for a moment: in order to balance the equation, should one spouse leave? The need of family welfare should take precedence over who quits for whom. One may experience less financial burden if they cease, but what about the psychological and emotional costs? Gambling by its very nature has the potential to upset trust, responsibility, and family dynamics.

We must consider if gambling is still a hobby or if it has turned into a crutch. If the latter, expert assistance may be required. It's not enough to simply give up; you also need to identify the underlying problems and take decisive action against them. The family cannot regain a healthy equilibrium till that point.

On those conditions, it's not advised for any side of the party to continue gambling. There are always two sides to every story. While others may think that it's wrong, another family may grow happier through gambling together. However, if they're just newbie gamblers who are not experienced in gambling, then it isn't worth the argument, that they should stop gambling. I'm always on the side of experienced gamblers, who as a family enjoy the fun of gambling. And have all the required strategies needed to be responsible in gambling. The risk is always high if one side gets addicted, and the other spouse doesn't notice it. The finances of the family will be detrimental. Thereby affecting the success of the family. But, if a responsible gambler figures out that his wife also gambles, he shouldn't fidget or push his wife to jump out of her gambling addiction.

It'll only affect her and could lead her to gambling secretly, and expose her to problem gambling. Which won't be a careful move by or from the husband.

The right thing to do is to watch her play and also limit how much she should spend on gambling. The experienced gambler also has to control his wife not to get addicted. Saving the family from a financial problem. Telling one party to stop, will cause lots of trouble. Like, who would stop? gambling isn't bad. Excessive of it is. However, there's a misconception about the notion of gambling and people need to change how to perceive gambling. I'm surprised not to have seen a comment that says gambling can help in uniting the family. When two spouses are in a similar niche, they'll have a better rapport of themselves. Therefore, gluing them together, and making them love each other the more.

It depends to a situation, if there's a worst case scenario that will ruins the whole family, I think it's better to both of them to quit gambling. quitting may be hard especially if there's a symptoms of addiction but both of them should know that they have a child who needs guidance. If they are having difficulties in quitting because both of them are stuck in the house, I think it's better husband will look for a stable job to divert gambling  activity to working activity, same goes to the wife, she needs to divert her attention to taking care of her child and doing house chores and such other things instead of gambling.

If both of them are involved in gambling in a family, it will be a big problem for their family. The family must take responsibility for proper management. Either the husband or wife. Moreover, if there are children in the family for gambling, they will not grow naturally. If a gambler loses in gambling, he cannot be normal in many cases. So of course one of them has to take a break from gambling or they can give time to their family shiftily. After a specified time, the family must either take responsibility for the family. However, it can usually be difficult. It may even be where the gambler cannot leave the gambling at that time. I am sure that if the family is addicted to the gamble in the family, it will be difficult for them to create a suitable environment if their family has children.

There is no answer to this question.

Scenario 1: Husband will stop, considering he earns more money than the wife but decides to quit to give way to the wife's gambling activities. His daily life activity will only focus on house - work - house cycle. Which is different from his old habits including having gambling activity. In the long run, the husband will complain and have a possibility to be the root of the problem with the wife.

Scenario 2: The wife will stop, letting his husband to independently gamble using the family finances and enjoy while the wife focuses on work to earn money for the family. Again, the same with the above scenario, the wife will complain about this set-up as she continues to work and meet the needs of the family at home while the husband still has the time to gamble and at least has the time for himself to enjoy gambling.

The only thing they can do is to be a responsible gambler, bet the amount they can afford to lose or spend only the extra money they have. This case can be discussed between the husband and wife and they can set their limitation/boundaries so they can continue to manage their finances.

Depending on the situation, if the gambling activity doesn't interfere with their relationship I think it's not a problem. But if they both gamble and the situation is that they are in trouble and often fight because of this, both of them must stop gambling and find a solution to their problems. Because there have been many incidents where families have fallen apart because either one or both partners became a gambling addict and it destroyed their finances.

That's a tough journey. So what are you doing now? are you still gambling, and what game?

Honestly, if gambling is already affecting us, we have to quti early before it will make a damage. And with regards to OP's matter being raised, it's a wife and a husband are both gambler, it's too negative although I would say there's nothing wrong with that, but most people I know where both parents are gamblers, they end up struggling financially.

I remember very well the moment when I decided to quit poker. My condition could be described as complete exhaustion. It all started very well, and I believed that I would be able to earn it on a regular basis, but then something went wrong and the earnings became very small, a streak of failures began. I borrowed money from friends, but inside I always had the feeling that I was doing the wrong thing. After four months, I had to finish poker. I have made my conclusions and now I stay away from poker rooms.

If they do it this way, there is no problem. But it is a rare situation, statistically rare, I would say. I think that if it happens in couples who gamble it is because they do it infrequently, like going to play bingo once a month. But in casinos you very rarely see two that look like a couple.

The way the gamblers OP talks about it, I think it looks more likely to end badly than to gamble responsibly, and, in the case of quitting, it is better for both to do it. If both of them have this hobby, if only one of them quits, it will lead to resentment and bad feelings.

If both of them can be responsible when playing gambling and can manage their finances well while managing family affairs, they don't need to stop gambling. As long as they can still manage everything well, that means gambling is not an obstacle for them.
But what you have to pay attention to is the children because if the children are still in the development stage, they will need more attention from their parents. The husband or wife should pay more attention to their children than gambling.
But if they think that one of them would be better off quitting gambling, they should have a discussion to determine who should quit. It would be better if both of them stopped gambling so they could focus on raising their children.

Is there a need to WHY in this one? family of gamblers needed Why to ask who would quit?

giving to consider that they are all gamblers meaning less work or both addicted , I think the best contender to quit is the one who are less lucky , because this is the mean of living and money matters here.

but must also consider the one that has self control and not just winning to gamble more.

There's no problem even if the whole family is gambling as long as they are gambling responsibly.

You'll only quit when you aren't responsible anymore, and please bear in mind always that gamble produce entertainment, so it should not be the main thing in your life, you still have to do your job or business, or anything that would earn money for the family, then you can gambler a certain amount but should not affect the good relationship within the family.

Gambling is FUN, don't QUIT!

What a coincidence this topic has been brought here lol.
I knew a family like this in my birth place, but I didn't get a chance to have conversations with any of them not even once when I was still residing there (now I live in another province with my wife). Honestly they are still together up until to this very moment. I just literally saw them in the grocery when I visited my place a couple of weeks ago. I just had a thought after seeing them how they were able to make things work when both of them were regularly visiting a local casino before. Not sure if they still do today as they are already late in their 60's.
I guess there's no huge secretly to make this thing work, but just being responsible with finances is they key IMO.