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Topic: Does it looks responsible as woman telling husband you gamble? - page 19. (Read 2290 times)

hero member
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Tell him, I don't think it's a big issue really. It's nothing special imo so I don't particularly see any big reason to hide it as well. Your husband also works as a sort of stopper for you in case you suddenly spiral down into gambling too much since having someone who knows that close to you can keep you in check. If an argument ensues then don't run away from it. You married each other so I reckon arguments are something you guys are supposed to tackle, not run away from anyway and I reckon discussing about habits, both good and bad, are a part of that.
full member
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I agree with most here.  For how long can you keep this up? As his wife, you know you should be open with him about what you're doing, especially something as risky as gambling.  Even if you don't think you're addicted or anything, but I worry that if you keep gambling in secret you could end up losing more money than you can afford. 

Before this gets out of hand, you need to come clean.  It's the right thing to do and  you owe him the truth.  I hope he'll understand and you can deal with that together.  Even though it may be difficult, I think openness and honesty are important in a marriage.
sr. member
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Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.
The worst thing that happens in a relationship is if someone a husband or wife keeps a secret. This is a wrong idea because if I were your partner, I would be totally angry.

Keeping secrets should not be done once we already have family especially when it talks about finances, and that much more about gambling.
To be considered a responsible wife, you must not gamble unless your husband approves it. In fact, we've heard that a couple separated because of gambling, and I was afraid this might happen to you if you don't tell.
hero member
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OP, you need to be open to your husband and there should be nothing to hide because if he finds out by himself, he will get mad at you for keeping your gambling activities secrete, and this might somehow affect your marriage. You should know the best time to tell him, when he is in a happy mood, I think that will be the best time to tell him, and when telling him make him know that you are doing it because you need little experience in the gambling field. Also tell him that it is temporary and after some time, you will quit. Gamble occasionally since you are a woman and don't let it get into your head. Whatever the outcome of your discussion will be just calm down and take things step by step.
hero member
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For me I would advise that you tell him everything, personally I wouldn’t want my wife to keep secret like this from me – I might be upset if I finally get to know about it myself.

But make sure you let him understand that you gambling was necessary for your Bitcointalk activities, so that you can get to know about what it is that you’re promoting and since you have already started that you can control yourself and not a compulsive gambler then everything should go smoothly unless he’s the type who doesn’t tolerate things like gambling or one that his doctrines are against, but I believe as husband and wife you should be able to figure it out.

Just remember, the sooner you tell him the better for you.
hero member
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So a married person can still able to hide something from his/her spouse, now I wonder what did you hide from him aside from gambling? how many times you cheated your husband? Roll Eyes

I thought married people will try to being transparent with their spouses since you're live with them everyday, sooner or later they will finds out, as we know it's the best to being honest than someone caught you.
legendary
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And it's a bit strange for me if your husband doesn't know about your gambling activities because husband and wife will always be together, especially at home. And how stupid your husband would be if he didn't know about your gambling activities and also didn't pay enough attention to you to know about them.
And after you tell him about your gambling activities, and your husband doesn't get angry and let it happen, then you are lucky.

True. Either there is a huge harmony in the family, or there is completely none of it and each partner does not bother what other does, thinks, feels. It will be irresponsible secretly gambling, that telling or not doing it. The truth always comes out, no matter if it is sweet or bitter.

Question to SmartGold01 - why did not you tell your husband about gambling at first place? But rather searched for answers and comments on the forum? Answer to this is the answer to your question about telling or not telling about your gambling activities to your husband.
sr. member
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If you tell your husband or partner about your gambling activities, you must accept the consequences if your husband gets angry or forbids it. And you have to obey his wishes, because a wife has to obey what her husband says, especially if it is for the good.
And it's a bit strange for me if your husband doesn't know about your gambling activities because husband and wife will always be together, especially at home. And how stupid would your husband be if he didn't know about your gambling activities and also didn't pay close attention to you so that your husband didn't know about it or even suspected it.
And once you tell him about your gambling activities, and your husband doesn't get angry and let it happen, then you're in luck.
hero member
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But always gamble responsibly. Just 1% to 5% of your income is enough and it should not be more than that amount.
This is what i have decided since I started involving myself thus, wouldn't want to go above that specific amount you made mention because there is a reason for that since I also contributes to family I wouldn't want what would affect our living. Despite my involvement I still do my parts as wife and nothing much then will have to pass to my husband very soon as you all suggested, though i am gradually reading all comments contributions here.
hero member
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How long can you hide your gambling habits from your husband? Openness to the husband is the wife's obligation for all activities carried out, especially gambling activities which are full of risks. I assume the level of your gambling habit has not reached the stage of chronic addiction, before something bad happens to you from a financial perspective, such as starting to borrow money from a third party, you must tell your husband everything. The sooner the better before it's too late.
jr. member
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Whether or not to tell your husband that you gamble is a personal choice that relies on how you and your husband feel about gambling. You should think about how this news might affect your relationship and whether it fits with both of your values. It might be worth talking about if you think that being open and honest about your actions and the rules you've set for responsible gambling will help build trust and understanding. You should weigh the possible benefits against the risks before choosing whether to share this part of your life with your husband, especially if you think it could cause problems or worries. Being honest and talking to each other are important in any relationship, but when and how you talk about things should depend on the health of your relationship as a whole.
sr. member
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Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.

If you both are legally married then tell him
there is no need to hide anything from your husband knowing too well that you guys love's each others then what is the extent of husband and wife if I may ask you? Husband and Wife shares things common to each others except if you both are not in a good terms and even as that he should know what you are doing to avoid any harassments from him when he might have discovered from you.

Gambling is very large and you wouldn't know when you will secretly becomes the worse gambler whereby you would start having issues with your husband, therefore to avoid some disputes in the family quickly go into him to tell about your gamble attitudes to be at the safer side.

But however, I will encourage you to reduce your activity due to your position in the family and if your husband gambles and you also gambling meaning that your children will grow worst in gambling because you can't give each others a words to follow, this will make the family gets into problems in time to come. Gamble responsibly.
sr. member
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I think it's totally different font on the gambler. If the gambling has an any effect on their family then I think there is no need if you don't wanna share your gambling. But if you are addicted gambler then I think it's necessary to inform your family you are doing gambler because then they can also help you to recover from addiction. Now you can choose yourself what you wanna do. But if you talk about responsible then I think it's not that kind of responsible.
legendary
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Gamble responsibly
@SmartGold01. If your conscience is judging you, that means you want to be very faithful to your husband. Then why not tell him? But the problem is for you not to tell him and he starts to like to gamble and get addicted. If you gamble responsibly since, your husband might not talk about it. But in anything someone do responsibly, not likely that someone's husband will against it. But always gamble responsibly. Just 1% to 5% of your income is enough and it should not be more than that amount.
legendary
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"Does it looks responsible as woman telling husband you gamble?" - it should look like an obligation. Surely this woman is playing with money from the general family budget, isn’t she. The husband, as a partner, must certainly know where the money from the common wallet goes.

Quite sometimes now i have been active in the gambling section and have pick interest to start gambling i have gone through lots of material in both the forum, i have seen that I can control my emotion as well as controlling my finance this includes;
This all looks presumptuous. I would almost believe it if you weren't a woman. Smiley

The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.
This is something your conscience keeps telling to you. Listen to this and confess everything to your husband.
sr. member
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That's up to you, because only you know your husband's character, whether he is kind, aggressive, easily angry, or can tolerate what you do. If you feel that he will tolerate it when you say that you have been gambling all this time, just tell him because honesty is the most important thing in the family. However, if you feel that he will be angry with what you did, it's best not to tell him, after all, you gamble responsibly so it won't be too obvious in your relationship with him.
hero member
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~snip~

The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.
If you are wife who is responsible and respects your husband then you have to tell him, you can tell him from the beginning of getting to know gambling until you actually become gambler.
But you are quite great because you can involve gambling in you own life when you are married and there are no problems or any bad impacts from the gambling activities you do.
It just that if you continue to hide it and one day you husband finds out for himself that you are involved in gambling, there will definitely be feelings of regret and that will really hit him hard.
My advice is to tell him and explain it slowly and in detail so that there are no misunderstandings.

A man and husband can really appreciate it if his wife doesn't hide everything from him and he will be able to accept all the facts that happen if you can tell him slowly and with complete honesty.
legendary
Activity: 2478
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The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.

For me, women shouldn't be involved in gambling no matter how conscious you're in maintaining a good gambling habit but it's not really a good idea for a woman to be involved in gambling or gambling related activities due to some certain reasons because if a woman gets involved in gambling, her duties as a wife will begin to fade because she might not be too focused on her family again.


Why shouldnt women be involved into gambling? You think with strange and old stereotypes, likes women place is at the kitchen. You think women dont have that special gambling chromosome men have, but have housewife/family instead? Both women and men should identically be involved into family. What about "her duties"? What is this? Cleaning the house, raise children, cook, when husband works and earns? That is the idea of ancient times, when men went hunting because they were physically more developed. Those times have gone long time ago.

To OP - if you want to gamble, do it, dont listen to anybody. But do it only if this does not harm your family and finances, and never keep gambling in secret.
hero member
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As far as i know there is no law that holds anyone from gambling in my country and telling your husband isn't bad but it all depends on how he might reason otherwise nothing bad initiating with him base on your recent involvement in gamble. What matters most is the ability to gamble responsibly without going contrary to against gambling, most times it's hard to keeps all words said in terms of gambling before you knew you gradually becoming addicted gambler by then causing problems to your husband and to your entire family.
The secret you will follow is that you can involved in discussion, but do not gamble more/maybe ones in a week or ones in a month by then you don't turn into addicted gambler.
hero member
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whatever happens, you have to tell your husband about your gambling activities because otherwise this will have a bad impact.
I mean, if your husband is not a gambler and you are secretly gambling, of course if one day your husband finds out, it will definitely cause arguments and your household will be disharmonious.
and on the one hand, if you gamble without anyone knowing when you start to experience the beginning of an addiction, it will be very dangerous because sometimes someone who is addicted never realizes that he is addicted and can hide his addiction.

but if after you tell your husband the truth and dont allow him to gamble, it would be better if you dont force him to gamble. remember, your husband is the head of the household and you have to obey even though you have strong self-control, but you still can't do it.
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