Topic: He Used Our Wedding Savings to Play Bet - page 2. (Read 3855 times)
I have a little bit of a hard time believing something like this story could be true but you never know I guess. Some people might be in a rush to destroy their marriage before it starts. If there was ever a red flag for a bride this would be it. I would almost consider this a legitimate reason to call off the marriage. It’s up there.
Not everybody is perfect and not everybody would tolerate such a mistake from their spouse to be. It is quite unfortunate that this should happen, he might be seeing it as a kind of wanting to see or exploiting means of doubling their savings to surprise his girlfriend but it went south that he lost everything. I was curious as to know if it was his first time of gambling or the possibility of him being convinced by friends or so to try do such hoping that he could win the game and double the money for their marriage. If he is a gambler, that should have been detected by his girlfriend long enough to have known what to do before then and she could have opted to save her money separately than putting it together with him.
Is a good question it would have been nice to really no his record in gambling and if it was his first time of gambling, so if it was his first time then his intention may not be as bad as we are looking at it and like you said it could be the handwork of his friends who knows, actually the more I'm seeing different opinion of members that's how I'm seeing the reason why the two of them needs to patch things up to continue their relationship even if the money is very big for them to save again but with time they would come up with something because if the woman leaves him means that she does not love him that much because a woman who knows that it was a mistake regardless of how furious she could be she would forgive and continue because even the marriage they are going into could still have difficult times so her judgement now will reflect to her tolerance in the marriage. How sure are you that the man won't take the same action again even if it's not in gambling? It's different if the money was saved by only the man but the woman assisted. It was a collaborative thing so decisions on what to use the money for should be made collaboratively by the two parties.
Whether or not she was aware of his gambling habits, it still does not make justice if he has used the wedding savings to gamble.
He should have known above all, the consequences of gambling with the wedding amount.
He would have known of the risks associated and still chose to continue and so I think it depends on the girl's choice how she wants to take the relationship further.
Look let me tell you one thing we don't understand as Humans when we as lady's trust our husbands we trusts them in all aspect provided we think they are reasonable and can shield us and protects, we can also give them our savings to hold not that we don't know about the danger or what it results but we having the believed that since he is the head of the family he knows the right things to do whereby we don't think he would actually use such amount of money to go gamble where the money would entire wasted. So, do not say the lady is aware and even though she's away she doesn't have that thinking that the man would have that mindset to go temper with their savings were she almost saved about 60% of the money. He should have known above all, the consequences of gambling with the wedding amount.
He would have known of the risks associated and still chose to continue and so I think it depends on the girl's choice how she wants to take the relationship further.
The husband may have bet to surprise his wife but sadly instead of being surprised he lost and his wife's savings was lost in the gamble instead of a surprise for his wife. Wives in real life are usually thrifty so wives usually prefer to collect money from husband's pocket but husbands should spend that collected money in some good source. Husbands should never gamble with their wives' savings. OP, In the mentioned incident the husband has done absolutely wrong and betting with the wife's money and the money collected during the marriage is completely wrong as a husband.
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The story does not tell that he is addicted, and was not aware that gambling is not a place to make money. What if he gambling for the first time, or was silly to believe if someone told him that he can double money in gambling. Story gives us minimum information. But the women acted really radically. 1 mistake = end everything. That isnt right. Instead, as a future second half, why did not she tried to help him, if he was a gambling newbie, or was gambling addicted? Dont you find it strange? We spoke so many times, that close people and family should be first to help person who is in trouble. In this case, close person was first to abandon that man.
You are actually making a big point here, I didn't think of it though but yet I still think that this man is not a baby to just be convinced to use the whole money for gambling. I know that newbies sometimes can actually be very naive but not for a matured man who is ready to make a home. So bad.
Some thoughts run in my head, if the man was an addict from the beginning, the woman must have noticed it and would not have agreed to save the money with him.
Or, maybe he is addicted but the woman trusted him and he ends up disappointing her. The information source didn't provide all those details.
The story does not tell that he is addicted, and was not
I can only reply with "she was familiar with that man more than one day". I am 100% with that. She must have been aware if he is addicted. That wasnt an unpleasant surprise that came out all of a sudden. When someone is about to marry someone, this means that person is more or less familiar with other half, know about habits, what that person finds interesting, addictions, passions. That is why it surprises me, that she decided to cancel everything so suddenly after one single, but significant mistake.
In some traditions or religions, you are not expected to be close to your prospective spouse. Both of you will just be communicating online or in public places. So it is possible that she is not aware that he is a gambler. Some people are also very good at hiding their behaviour that you might not know what they are into, even if you stay around them for months. Even if she is aware that he gambles, she might not know that he is an addict. Anyway, his case is one in a million because I doubt if many addicts will risk using money for an important activity like marriage to gamble. I can only reply with "she was familiar with that man more than one day". I am 100% with that. She must have been aware if he is addicted. That wasnt an unpleasant surprise that came out all of a sudden. When someone is about to marry someone, this means that person is more or less familiar with other half, know about habits, what that person finds interesting, addictions, passions. That is why it surprises me, that she decided to cancel everything so suddenly after one single, but significant mistake.
Whether or not she was aware of his gambling habits, it still does not make justice if he has used the wedding savings to gamble.
He should have known above all, the consequences of gambling with the wedding amount.
He would have known of the risks associated and still chose to continue and so I think it depends on the girl's choice how she wants to take the relationship further.
The story does not tell that he is addicted, and was not
I can only reply with "she was familiar with that man more than one day". I am 100% with that. She must have been aware if he is addicted. That wasnt an unpleasant surprise that came out all of a sudden. When someone is about to marry someone, this means that person is more or less familiar with other half, know about habits, what that person finds interesting, addictions, passions. That is why it surprises me, that she decided to cancel everything so suddenly after one single, but significant mistake.
In some traditions or religions, you are not expected to be close to your prospective spouse. Both of you will just be communicating online or in public places. So it is possible that she is not aware that he is a gambler. Some people are also very good at hiding their behaviour that you might not know what they are into, even if you stay around them for months. Even if she is aware that he gambles, she might not know that he is an addict. Anyway, his case is one in a million because I doubt if many addicts will risk using money for an important activity like marriage to gamble. I can only reply with "she was familiar with that man more than one day". I am 100% with that. She must have been aware if he is addicted. That wasnt an unpleasant surprise that came out all of a sudden. When someone is about to marry someone, this means that person is more or less familiar with other half, know about habits, what that person finds interesting, addictions, passions. That is why it surprises me, that she decided to cancel everything so suddenly after one single, but significant mistake.
Not everybody is perfect and not everybody would tolerate such a mistake from their spouse to be. It is quite unfortunate that this should happen, he might be seeing it as a kind of wanting to see or exploiting means of doubling their savings to surprise his girlfriend but it went south that he lost everything. I was curious as to know if it was his first time of gambling or the possibility of him being convinced by friends or so to try do such hoping that he could win the game and double the money for their marriage. If he is a gambler, that should have been detected by his girlfriend long enough to have known what to do before then and she could have opted to save her money separately than putting it together with him.
Is a good question it would have been nice to really no his record in gambling and if it was his first time of gambling, so if it was his first time then his intention may not be as bad as we are looking at it and like you said it could be the handwork of his friends who knows, actually the more I'm seeing different opinion of members that's how I'm seeing the reason why the two of them needs to patch things up to continue their relationship even if the money is very big for them to save again but with time they would come up with something because if the woman leaves him means that she does not love him that much because a woman who knows that it was a mistake regardless of how furious she could be she would forgive and continue because even the marriage they are going into could still have difficult times so her judgement now will reflect to her tolerance in the marriage. But his only and very stupid mistake was using all the money to gamble as he said he was trying to double it, its unfortunate though, and must be very painful for the woman to forgive, and to be honest with you, marriage is not just about both parties loving each other, love alone does not and will not keep a marriage.
So, after an incident like this, the only thing I think will make the woman still consider moving along with the man is simply the other good qualities the man possess, without any other good qualities for the woman to hold unto in the man, it will be hard for her to forgive him on the basis of love - remember the popular saying that "there is a thin line between love and hate".
Obviously, he made a big mistake using all the money to bet and from the looks, it seems he is not even a gambler because no experienced gambler would in his or her right senses use money savings for wedding to gamble not to talk of gambling with such an amount of money meant for wedding preparations. I think he must have been talked into doing such because his actions does not really shows he is an experienced gambler to say.
If it happens that it was his first time of doing such then it would be that he did it thinking of doubling the money as a surprise to his girlfriend but I think he made a big mistake using all the money to gamble. Nobody would be happy hearing such at that point in time but however, she should have a second thought over it and reconsider their relationship they have built for long. Nobody is above mistake and for the fact that they have something common together that could help them reconciliate.
Not everybody is perfect and not everybody would tolerate such a mistake from their spouse to be. It is quite unfortunate that this should happen, he might be seeing it as a kind of wanting to see or exploiting means of doubling their savings to surprise his girlfriend but it went south that he lost everything. I was curious as to know if it was his first time of gambling or the possibility of him being convinced by friends or so to try do such hoping that he could win the game and double the money for their marriage. If he is a gambler, that should have been detected by his girlfriend long enough to have known what to do before then and she could have opted to save her money separately than putting it together with him.
Is a good question it would have been nice to really no his record in gambling and if it was his first time of gambling, so if it was his first time then his intention may not be as bad as we are looking at it and like you said it could be the handwork of his friends who knows, actually the more I'm seeing different opinion of members that's how I'm seeing the reason why the two of them needs to patch things up to continue their relationship even if the money is very big for them to save again but with time they would come up with something because if the woman leaves him means that she does not love him that much because a woman who knows that it was a mistake regardless of how furious she could be she would forgive and continue because even the marriage they are going into could still have difficult times so her judgement now will reflect to her tolerance in the marriage. No one or wife to be will really be that letting you or permit you on what you would gonna do with the money specially that all of us do really knows on what gambling could mess up someones finances.
If there would really be some good explaination and having that sincere apology then he might be that forgiven but of course it will really be just that depending whether he would be forgiven
because actually this kind of mistake is really that a huge one and cant really be joked upon.
The story does not tell that he is addicted, and was not
I can only reply with "she was familiar with that man more than one day". I am 100% with that. She must have been aware if he is addicted. That wasnt an unpleasant surprise that came out all of a sudden. When someone is about to marry someone, this means that person is more or less familiar with other half, know about habits, what that person finds interesting, addictions, passions. That is why it surprises me, that she decided to cancel everything so suddenly after one single, but significant mistake.
In some traditions or religions, you are not expected to be close to your prospective spouse. Both of you will just be communicating online or in public places. So it is possible that she is not aware that he is a gambler. Some people are also very good at hiding their behaviour that you might not know what they are into, even if you stay around them for months. Even if she is aware that he gambles, she might not know that he is an addict. Anyway, his case is one in a million because I doubt if many addicts will risk using money for an important activity like marriage to gamble. I can only reply with "she was familiar with that man more than one day". I am 100% with that. She must have been aware if he is addicted. That wasnt an unpleasant surprise that came out all of a sudden. When someone is about to marry someone, this means that person is more or less familiar with other half, know about habits, what that person finds interesting, addictions, passions. That is why it surprises me, that she decided to cancel everything so suddenly after one single, but significant mistake.
There is indeed a grain of truth in your words. They must have been dating for a long time before and were ready for many things to overcome together. A wedding is more of a celebration for others and a mark in the passport, but for two people who love each other it is nothing special, they will continue to live together as they did.
In defense of the bride, I can only say one thing - it is highly likely that the e-player will continue to play in the future and hope that she will forgive him like last time. In addition, I recently heard the story of one woman who lived with a gambling addict for 5 years, this story is simply terrible, but she always tried to pull him out and lived his life. In the end, with great difficulty, she decided to divorce him.
In defense of the bride, I can only say one thing - it is highly likely that the e-player will continue to play in the future and hope that she will forgive him like last time. In addition, I recently heard the story of one woman who lived with a gambling addict for 5 years, this story is simply terrible, but she always tried to pull him out and lived his life. In the end, with great difficulty, she decided to divorce him.
I can only reply with "she was familiar with that man more than one day". I am 100% with that. She must have been aware if he is addicted. That wasnt an unpleasant surprise that came out all of a sudden. When someone is about to marry someone, this means that person is more or less familiar with other half, know about habits, what that person finds interesting, addictions, passions. That is why it surprises me, that she decided to cancel everything so suddenly after one single, but significant mistake.
So actually there are many factors that make the woman choose to cancel her marriage, it could be because she just found out about her partner's bad habits, and it could also be because it was the umpteenth bad act that her partner had done so that she had given up on her partner's behavior until she decided to cancel her wedding commitment.
Do you people think that it is ok to judge person only by one mistake? I find it not fair. They were building relationship for some period, and ending it only after 1 mistake, and ending it so radically. Even though that man made a huge mistake, on scale where are relationships a money, that woman value money more.
And how can you tell it’s actually just one mistake. For a man to use money they’ve been saving up for a wedding to gamble only means one thing, which is that he’s already addicted to gambling, because it takes someone battling with addiction to take such a risk. And if that’s the case, then this is certainly not the first time he’s throwing away money meant for something else. Maybe he may have equally done the same with money meant for rent, or some important expenses at home and the woman has been condoling and complaining behind closed doors just to protect her fiancé’s reputation and maybe she just couldn’t take this one anymore. Have you also thought about that possibility?Newbies can also make the same mistake because they don't really understand the nature of gambling, which is that the more you play, the more you lose and the more you want revenge, the more you lose. Why don't you think of this scenario: he initially plays with small amounts of money but after losing and just wanting to get back the lost money, he continues to play uncontrollably? This happens to new players too, not just addicts.
Also, I would be surprised if the girl didn't know he was a gambling addict while they were dating. It is not too difficult to detect someone's gambling addiction and it is also very difficult for addicts to hide their addiction. If she knew full well he was a gambling addict but still decided to give him money, who would be wrong in this scenario?
There is no denying that he spent that money on gambling and that was his fault, but obviously, the story is still unclear but you and many others were quick to call him a gambling addict, which is unfair. I tend to agree with bakasabo's thinking more.
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Not everybody is perfect and not everybody would tolerate such a mistake from their spouse to be. It is quite unfortunate that this should happen, he might be seeing it as a kind of wanting to see or exploiting means of doubling their savings to surprise his girlfriend but it went south that he lost everything. I was curious as to know if it was his first time of gambling or the possibility of him being convinced by friends or so to try do such hoping that he could win the game and double the money for their marriage. If he is a gambler, that should have been detected by his girlfriend long enough to have known what to do before then and she could have opted to save her money separately than putting it together with him.
Is a good question it would have been nice to really no his record in gambling and if it was his first time of gambling, so if it was his first time then his intention may not be as bad as we are looking at it and like you said it could be the handwork of his friends who knows, actually the more I'm seeing different opinion of members that's how I'm seeing the reason why the two of them needs to patch things up to continue their relationship even if the money is very big for them to save again but with time they would come up with something because if the woman leaves him means that she does not love him that much because a woman who knows that it was a mistake regardless of how furious she could be she would forgive and continue because even the marriage they are going into could still have difficult times so her judgement now will reflect to her tolerance in the marriage. But his only and very stupid mistake was using all the money to gamble as he said he was trying to double it, its unfortunate though, and must be very painful for the woman to forgive, and to be honest with you, marriage is not just about both parties loving each other, love alone does not and will not keep a marriage.
So, after an incident like this, the only thing I think will make the woman still consider moving along with the man is simply the other good qualities the man possess, without any other good qualities for the woman to hold unto in the man, it will be hard for her to forgive him on the basis of love - remember the popular saying that "there is a thin line between love and hate".
Do you people think that it is ok to judge person only by one mistake? I find it not fair. They were building relationship for some period, and ending it only after 1 mistake, and ending it so radically. Even though that man made a huge mistake, on scale where are relationships a money, that woman value money more.
And how can you tell it’s actually just one mistake. For a man to use money they’ve been saving up for a wedding to gamble only means one thing, which is that he’s already addicted to gambling, because it takes someone battling with addiction to take such a risk. And if that’s the case, then this is certainly not the first time he’s throwing away money meant for something else. Maybe he may have equally done the same with money meant for rent, or some important expenses at home and the woman has been condoling and complaining behind closed doors just to protect her fiancé’s reputation and maybe she just couldn’t take this one anymore. Have you also thought about that possibility?The story does not tell that he is addicted, and was not aware that gambling is not a place to make money. What if he gambling for the first time, or was silly to believe if someone told him that he can double money in gambling. Story gives us minimum information. But the women acted really radically. 1 mistake = end everything. That isnt right. Instead, as a future second half, why did not she tried to help him, if he was a gambling newbie, or was gambling addicted? Dont you find it strange? We spoke so many times, that close people and family should be first to help person who is in trouble. In this case, close person was first to abandon that man.
In defense of the bride, I can only say one thing - it is highly likely that the e-player will continue to play in the future and hope that she will forgive him like last time. In addition, I recently heard the story of one woman who lived with a gambling addict for 5 years, this story is simply terrible, but she always tried to pull him out and lived his life. In the end, with great difficulty, she decided to divorce him.
I can only reply with "she was familiar with that man more than one day". I am 100% with that. She must have been aware if he is addicted. That wasnt an unpleasant surprise that came out all of a sudden. When someone is about to marry someone, this means that person is more or less familiar with other half, know about habits, what that person finds interesting, addictions, passions. That is why it surprises me, that she decided to cancel everything so suddenly after one single, but significant mistake.
Not everybody is perfect and not everybody would tolerate such a mistake from their spouse to be. It is quite unfortunate that this should happen, he might be seeing it as a kind of wanting to see or exploiting means of doubling their savings to surprise his girlfriend but it went south that he lost everything. I was curious as to know if it was his first time of gambling or the possibility of him being convinced by friends or so to try do such hoping that he could win the game and double the money for their marriage. If he is a gambler, that should have been detected by his girlfriend long enough to have known what to do before then and she could have opted to save her money separately than putting it together with him.
Is a good question it would have been nice to really no his record in gambling and if it was his first time of gambling, so if it was his first time then his intention may not be as bad as we are looking at it and like you said it could be the handwork of his friends who knows, actually the more I'm seeing different opinion of members that's how I'm seeing the reason why the two of them needs to patch things up to continue their relationship even if the money is very big for them to save again but with time they would come up with something because if the woman leaves him means that she does not love him that much because a woman who knows that it was a mistake regardless of how furious she could be she would forgive and continue because even the marriage they are going into could still have difficult times so her judgement now will reflect to her tolerance in the marriage. 
Do you people think that it is ok to judge person only by one mistake? I find it not fair. They were building relationship for some period, and ending it only after 1 mistake, and ending it so radically. Even though that man made a huge mistake, on scale where are relationships a money, that woman value money more.
And how can you tell it’s actually just one mistake. For a man to use money they’ve been saving up for a wedding to gamble only means one thing, which is that he’s already addicted to gambling, because it takes someone battling with addiction to take such a risk. And if that’s the case, then this is certainly not the first time he’s throwing away money meant for something else. Maybe he may have equally done the same with money meant for rent, or some important expenses at home and the woman has been condoling and complaining behind closed doors just to protect her fiancé’s reputation and maybe she just couldn’t take this one anymore. Have you also thought about that possibility?The story does not tell that he is addicted, and was not aware that gambling is not a place to make money. What if he gambling for the first time, or was silly to believe if someone told him that he can double money in gambling. Story gives us minimum information. But the women acted really radically. 1 mistake = end everything. That isnt right. Instead, as a future second half, why did not she tried to help him, if he was a gambling newbie, or was gambling addicted? Dont you find it strange? We spoke so many times, that close people and family should be first to help person who is in trouble. In this case, close person was first to abandon that man.
In defense of the bride, I can only say one thing - it is highly likely that the e-player will continue to play in the future and hope that she will forgive him like last time. In addition, I recently heard the story of one woman who lived with a gambling addict for 5 years, this story is simply terrible, but she always tried to pull him out and lived his life. In the end, with great difficulty, she decided to divorce him.
Do you people think that it is ok to judge person only by one mistake? I find it not fair. They were building relationship for some period, and ending it only after 1 mistake, and ending it so radically. Even though that man made a huge mistake, on scale where are relationships a money, that woman value money more.
And how can you tell it’s actually just one mistake. For a man to use money they’ve been saving up for a wedding to gamble only means one thing, which is that he’s already addicted to gambling, because it takes someone battling with addiction to take such a risk. And if that’s the case, then this is certainly not the first time he’s throwing away money meant for something else. Maybe he may have equally done the same with money meant for rent, or some important expenses at home and the woman has been condoling and complaining behind closed doors just to protect her fiancé’s reputation and maybe she just couldn’t take this one anymore. Have you also thought about that possibility?The story does not tell that he is addicted, and was not aware that gambling is not a place to make money. What if he gambling for the first time, or was silly to believe if someone told him that he can double money in gambling. Story gives us minimum information. But the women acted really radically. 1 mistake = end everything. That isnt right. Instead, as a future second half, why did not she tried to help him, if he was a gambling newbie, or was gambling addicted? Dont you find it strange? We spoke so many times, that close people and family should be first to help person who is in trouble. In this case, close person was first to abandon that man.
a very unfortunate woman, a man like that does not deserve a partner, because he will sell or cheat anyone to fulfill his gambling desires, the woman is very ashamed, but she has decided on the right step because it has thwarted their marriage
Why would you conclude like that? A single mistake shouldn't entirely define a man, he might be in a dire situation but only knocked on the wrong door (gambling). This guy may not necessarily be as bad as he appeared here, did the lady say other bad things about him? No. Neither did she mention the guy has been caught in a similar bad or gambling act. If he had been caught, I'm sure the lady may not have married him or entrusted such a large amount of money in his care. I can only think that the desperation of having a befitting wedding pushed him into the unfortunate act. A person who could contribute 40% of the entire money (N2m) is not poor, they can fix this. Life happens and it goes on, I can only advise the guy to be more reasonable next time. 
People who gamble for fun certainly will not feel overly emotional when the results of their gambling end in disappointment. There is a good attitude behind this entertainment goal, but it does not mean that those who gamble for fun will continue to be able to accept the reality that maybe sometimes they lose control or lose patience, so in my opinion this is almost the same but the difference lies in the self-control that each of us has mastered. With people who dare to use their savings to gamble, whether it's personal savings or for a wedding or something else, in my opinion, they are people who really have high hopes for gambling, and I think this could happen to those who gamble for fun because we don't know what will happen in the future even though we ourselves can predict it and have been prepared beforehand. But what is clear is that using excessive money to bet or gamble is a very bad behavior, maybe it could be said that there is a loss of common sense in the brain.
Yes and one of the reasons why a gambler who makes gambling a place of entertainment is not emotional when experiencing defeat is because winning is not their main priority, remember one thing that in any case that makes you disappointed, emotional or regretful is because of your excessive expectations of it, and that is why it is always more advisable to make gambling a place of entertainment because when money is not the main priority then it is unlikely for you to feel emotional or regretful when you experience defeat, so actually the disappointment you will feel depends on how you view gambling.What you said is quite true that one of the reasons why people dare to do various crazy actions such as using funds for important needs in their lives is because of high hopes for victory, and on the other hand, whoever you are and even if for example from the beginning you are on the right track in the sense of only making gambling a place to seek entertainment, it does not mean that you will be free from various unwanted things, addiction will always be a possibility that can still befall you one day, the reason is because as social beings it is very possible for us to experience a change in perspective on something, therefore, maintain your awareness that gambling is too dangerous if it is pursued more seriously even though for example at first you gambled on the right track.
This lack of clear certainty must be a priority so that there is no excessive behavior in doing so, some people who gamble by daring to take risks such as using borrowed money or their own savings are not good examples, although they may eventually win but it is not advisable to imitate them because not all gambling will end in victory, therefore it is best to do it reasonably.
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Do you people think that it is ok to judge person only by one mistake? I find it not fair. They were building relationship for some period, and ending it only after 1 mistake, and ending it so radically. Even though that man made a huge mistake, on scale where are relationships a money, that woman value money more.
And how can you tell it’s actually just one mistake. For a man to use money they’ve been saving up for a wedding to gamble only means one thing, which is that he’s already addicted to gambling, because it takes someone battling with addiction to take such a risk. And if that’s the case, then this is certainly not the first time he’s throwing away money meant for something else. Maybe he may have equally done the same with money meant for rent, or some important expenses at home and the woman has been condoling and complaining behind closed doors just to protect her fiancé’s reputation and maybe she just couldn’t take this one anymore. Have you also thought about that possibility?Jump to: