Topic: He Used Our Wedding Savings to Play Bet - page 2. (Read 727 times)

The young lady should understand the feeling of the future husband,her fiancee had made a mistake.So the young lady will stop the because of the small mistake will not be the correct decision.So the young lady should make her future husband to quit the gambling addiction and the she can marry her fiancee.But quit of gambling addiction is very hard one,but the gambler can do the reduction from the gambling addiction.The gambler itself understand the mistake made by him and ask apology from her lady. Asking apology to her lady is not the wrong one,he should agreed the mistake of miss use of the funds at the marriage time.If the lady not forgive her fiancee, then the gambler may commit suicide because of this loss.

In fact, there are many stories out there that we don't even know about that are related to gambling for everyone. like one of the threads you posted here, to be honest I'm surprised there are stories like this out there. although in truth, I know very well that there are many strange things that some gamblers do. The woman's fate was truly unfortunate, but it was clear that the man could not be completely blamed.
The problem is, the prospective bride and groom have voluntarily contributed around 60% of all the funds they managed to collect previously. we can assume, that it looks like these two people or even this woman. not have a much smarter intellect. Just imagine, with the seduction of her future husband, this woman voluntarily gave 60% and hoped to get many times the results if she bet on gambling. at this point, I can't jump to conclusions. because, we don't know the details of how this drama happened.

I  have many questions, but the fact is that this cannot be done. So the simplest assumption or speculation is that there are two possibilities. if this man is indeed an addict, or he has no other way to fulfill the conditions for marriage. because the money collected did not reach the target. Well, regarding the contents of this woman's story, I have no right to comment. because, this woman knows her potential partner better. There are two conclusions, if what the man did was a habit. So, there's no need to hesitate to leave it. which means, canceling and breaking off the relationship. if not, then he will be tormented by habit if in the end the two couples insist on carrying out the marriage.

There is one rule in gambling, if we don't want to be blame of our gambling action, don't use the money that is committed to else where.  Stating the possible opposite outcome as a way to excuse oneself is not convincing especially the money involve is not ours alone.


That is the main problem.  The use of the money that is allocated to their future wedding.  This is also the reason why we are discussing this topic here.  It is not "only" (that sounds it is negligible) but it is the major problem of the situation.  The guy should have use his own money not others money when he decides to gamble thinking he can double the amount.

Well, I don't think the mistake of his fiancee is enough to make her decide not to pursue the wedding anymore.  I would agree if the wedding will be postponed for now but leaving his fiancee totally because of his mistake, I think that's also quite unfair for him.  He should not be judged just because he is an addicted gambler, but he should learn to discipline himself instead so he can save the relationship with his future wife.

I can feel the pain with this young lady. But what happened has already happened and she should move on from that. What they should focus more is how to help his fiancee solve his gambling addiction so there will be no problems like this that will occur in the future.

What if the woman didnt know that his boyfriend does have that kind of vice that kept hidden when they are still in a relationship? We know that there are really that secrets that didnt need to be untold
even if you are having some relationship with someone. There's no way that  you could really be able to tell up everything from the last detail which we know that we cant really be that so sure that the ones we do love on present time would be the one that you would really be ending up on marrying in the end. Therefore, telling all the secrets wont really be that recommendable on doing so.

I dont see on womens mistake on this one since she just trusted up his fiancee and did make out some deal or agreement about saving up together for the expense of their marriage.
We know on how special day it is considering uniting yourself with your loved ones and ends up like this? It is really that truly heartbreaking i should say.

Yes, for sure. Is not that I am addicted to gambling, but I do gamble some times, most especially when I am broke. This case is in two forms in the sense that for the husband to win the game, the money will increase or even double, but as he loses, everyone will blame him. Actually, being addicted to gambling is a very bad idea because you will continue playing even though you are losing, hoping to get more gain, and some end up borrowing money just to gamble.
For me, I can say the only mistake the fiancée made was using almost all the money, hoping to win and bring back more money home. If the fiancée had budgeted what he would spend on gambling and kept on to it, the case might have been simple and amicable, but now he has messed up big time.

You are right,but what I see here is the mistake from the woman in question.If the woman had known that the husband is an addicted gambler,she wouldn't have allowed him be in possession of the money they will use for their wedding,she should have held the money her self,because one thing I know about gamblers is that they don't always bare in mind that they will lose,they always have a positive mindset that whatever they play will be the best,but that is always a wrong mindset.If you ask him,he will tell you he wasn't intending to use all of the money,but the moment you've used little of your money to gamble,and you lost,there is that urge that wants you to still continue gambling till you gain back your money,and this is the point where you lose all your money.

Perception about being bad or something not good to deal with, then its already been ages that community and people around would really be having that kind of bad perception or views towards it and its not really new anymore or something that shocking because its always been that way. Getting back into the situation on which the man had made out such action on which he didnt think of about into those consequences on which he might really be losing his wife to be on this manner on which we know that once trust is broken or something that you have done which is really that on extreme manner then you might be ending up on getting leave out by someone because of that irresponsible kind of decision.

Yes, you do have the plans on doubling the money or adding it up because you are really that desperate on making it big and since your girl is the ones does have that higher contribution then its true that ego
would really be that mainly affected or on whats the reason on why its been triggered out on why you do gamble those funds or simply you are really just that addicted?
We dont know about into those things that circles around on that mind of that guy but much sure that he would really be regretting this one.

A gambler believe that every steps in gambling is an opportunity and it believe that with the little money in the pocket it can turn to millions and billions so that will be one of the reasons that pushed the young man to use their weeding money to for gambling, actually the man is looking for a way to multiple the money through gambling, which is in a wrong way if I'm not mistaken and secondly if you are addicted in gambling you will not hesitate to use all you have to gamble having the mindset you will win the gamble.

I feel sorry for her and if she calls off the wedding I don't think anyone would blame her. Ladies do many things in the name of love, sometimes the handwriting could be on the wall but they would choose not to see it. What the man did is cruel, it's actually a sign of one of many things to come in the marriage and if the lady is wise, she should break up with him. Most ladies don't contribute a dime for their wedding, so for her to bring about 60% of the funds needed for the wedding and the fiancee to use it to gamble is really bad.

You are right because trust in the people around us such as family or partners is necessity that can be prioritized.
Maybe what @moneystery said is true that when it comes to money we can't just trust it because many problems happen just because of certain amount of money but he is not quite right in conveying it here.

And in this case it is not matter of trust but rather responsibility which the man does not have.
He should have been able to add more savings but instead used it for gambling, this is the kind of thing that actually makes the perspective of most people out there think that gambling is bad.

This isn't just a gambling addiction. This is serious level of gambling addiction and total disregard for her husband. I would leave in a heartbeat. Not respecting my limits is a no-no, no matter if she managed to win, or i found out that he has used that much our/my money without asking at all.

Trying to explain that she meant only the best just shows that she doesn't understand where the error was.

This reminds me of some youtube crypto influencer that invested his girlfriend's money to crypto and made profit for her, without her knowledge.
When people confronted him in twitter, he seemed visibly confused, as from his point of view he didn't do anything wrong. Only if he lost he would be guilty of something.
He was ignoring the fact that this was total violation of trust and outcome didn't even matter. The fact he wanted to risk it with someone else's money was the point.

He is either the most foolish person in the entire world or he is missing a brain. Like who does that? It's their wedding money and he just spent in a bet? So sorry for you dear. But he is not the right person for you. This kind of man doesn't have any sense of responsibility. Good think for you that you got to know how a man he actually is. I was thinking if your marriage is still on or not. If it's no, then congratulations dear. He may have lost the bet but you have won in life. I'm sure you'll get someone who is actually right for you. You may describe this as a disguised blessing.

What a sad situation. This is very disappointing that he could do such a thing with the wedding savings they both have been keeping for their wedding. Possibly he is an addicted gambler and has been keeping it secretly from his wife to be and he could not control himself from using the money. If he had opened up to his wife to be, the both of them could have had a plan B to the wedding savings so as not to do the unthinkable but the situation now has gone beyond damage control and it is obviously clear that he is an addicted gambler who can not control himself and this however means that in the future if they both get joined together he might do worst than this.

I believe she has no idea he is a gambler possibly she could have kicked against him holding the savings. Since he kept it a secret from her and eventually he has exposed himself and the truth have been revealed.

I had not noticed the part where they mentioned the invitations or the plans of the wedding had already been done. That only makes things worse for that woman.
Some women (not all of them) can show a very bold sense of pride towards life changing events, like the graduation of their children, their first job promotion and of course, their wedding. Assuming indeed the invitations had already been distributed, then only adds to the sense of embarrassment and disappointment she must be going through, for being directly ridiculed in front of their family and friends, specially since most of them will know what happen to the money (because of gossip).

Her ex-fiance was not thinking, he acted on impulse and let greed to take over his reasoning. That is why I assume he became a gambling addicted person in the course of months, without she knowing about it

How stupid he was to double his savings for his wedding by gambling. I don't understand what he was thinking at that time that he could take such action. I know how the woman feels, she is definitely very disappointed, embarrassed and very angry, especially since the wedding invitations have been distributed to people.
This is the reason why you have to think rationally before acting and only gamble with money that you can afford to lose, because we don't know when a bad day will strike us.

Sometimes it is very hard to make better decisions, especially when it has to do with money. Some people find it so terrible for their wife's or their fiancee to always bring money for them to take care of things like family needs and so on. There are some men that don't like either their wife or girlfriend to always bring money for them to use. They think that it is their responsibility to always provide the money for them.

So the guy doesn't have much money for the wedding and, as the wife is bringing money, the husband was just looking for a way to double the money and not knowing that he's winning is not guaranteed in gambling.
Gambling doesn't give us money when we need it the most, it gives us winnings when we don't even have plans for the money and not even put in mind to win, it is just for the wife to make her own decisions. That's all because, as it has happened like this now, even when they get married, the husband might try this same thing.

Before we get married, we have to make sure our current partner is someone we have been waiting for and can be our life partner. No one is perfect, but at least we can see what people are like so we don't make the wrong choice. However, when we are married, we must trust our partner, and with clear communication, we can understand and support each other to achieve our goals together. Hopefully, there will be no cases like what happened to this woman and her fiancé. And whether he still wants to continue the marriage or whether he finally cancels the marriage.

She said that in the text. He thought he could double it. I understand him and you will to if you think about it.

Imagine you're poor and you don't have a lot of savings. Then as a couple you open a savings account to get some money for the wedding. Your partner has more savings than you and contributes more to the account. On top of that some members of your both families chip in.
Suddenly you have access to an account that has 10 times more money in it than you ever had.
You think that if you could win a 50% bet you'd double it and the whole family would think you contributed as much as all of them together.
Your partner would be happy, your family would be happy, you'd be happy and they'd all be proud of you.
Dreaming like that you bet the money and lose it all.
Suddenly your dream turns into a nightmare.

Actually, I had edited my post because I misunderstood the number earlier. I guess $5000 is a nominal amount for a wedding.
In my country, we can only do a basic wedding with $5000. We normally have around 300 guests at the wedding and food for them itself costs around $2000.
Besides that, I consider it good that they were saving money for their wedding instead of taking a loan. I am strictly against taking a loan for wedding.
There are many people in my country who take a loan and do a grand wedding and then keep paying up for the loan taken for months/years.
At least this couple wasn't going to that debt trap but eventually lost money. Fate.