Topic: He Used Our Wedding Savings to Play Bet - page 3. (Read 3855 times)

I am not sure that there was only one mistake, that is why previously I have posted here, that we dont see whole picture of their problem, we dont know everything about their case. But so far it looks like that they have ended relationship because the guy used $5k they were saving together. For me this isnt a reason to split. I would understand if he cheated on her, stole money, was connected with something illegal, beat her. These would be good reason to end relationship and cancel wedding. But to do that for the sake of money is silly. Money can always be earned.

Yes and one of the reasons why a gambler who makes gambling a place of entertainment is not emotional when experiencing defeat is because winning is not their main priority, remember one thing that in any case that makes you disappointed, emotional or regretful is because of your excessive expectations of it, and that is why it is always more advisable to make gambling a place of entertainment because when money is not the main priority then it is unlikely for you to feel emotional or regretful when you experience defeat, so actually the disappointment you will feel depends on how you view gambling.

What you said is quite true that one of the reasons why people dare to do various crazy actions such as using funds for important needs in their lives is because of high hopes for victory, and on the other hand, whoever you are and even if for example from the beginning you are on the right track in the sense of only making gambling a place to seek entertainment, it does not mean that you will be free from various unwanted things, addiction will always be a possibility that can still befall you one day, the reason is because as social beings it is very possible for us to experience a change in perspective on something, therefore, maintain your awareness that gambling is too dangerous if it is pursued more seriously even though for example at first you gambled on the right track.

I also wonder why many people think gambling can solve their financial problems and think they will double their money in an instant when gambling is full of risks if we can't control ourselves the effect is we will lose all the savings we have and in the end we will be more troubled, frustrated and stressed.
If I look at what the man said he didn't want his woman to be burdened because she had to save to prepare for their wedding and he used that reason to gamble but if I think about it it seems like the man is addicted to gambling and uses the wedding savings to fulfill his desires, sometimes gamblers who are addicted are very difficult to control themselves and use all means to keep gambling and what makes me confused is why the woman contributed almost 60% but let the man bring his savings when if only the woman had bring her savings, this would not have happened because she could have saved the money until they wedding time.

You are right, however, players will only experience more frequent losses than wins. This is because the casino has a real advantage while players only have a lower advantage compared to the bookie or casino. Unfortunately, many people ignore this and people like this are like those who bet excessively, for example using their savings to gamble. Maybe with those who bet excessively because they think they can win as you said, it's like being confident but this self-confidence tends to make them trapped in a detrimental cycle, namely gambling addiction. If a man initially likes to gamble and is going to get married, there is a possibility that they will not get rid of this habit, and the worst thing is if that happens it can affect their family relationships like the many cases that have occurred where many families are destroyed or divorced because of the problem of one party being addicted to gambling which makes the money they have run out allocated to gambling without making a profit. This is a bad thing and I don't want to experience it.

Of course it is most likely like that, none other than because I have also experienced the position of the man but not with that amount of funds, I once spent my parents' money for other needs in life that were entrusted to me then I was carried away by emotions due to defeat until finally all the money was gone in an instant, that happened a few years ago when I was still trapped in the cycle of addiction. This means that I quite agree with you that it is very likely that the man is in a cycle of addiction and maybe the level of addiction is severe enough that he dares to use funds for something very important just to satisfy his gambling desires.

On the other hand, as I said before that on the one hand this is actually an incident that can be considered by the woman that the man who will marry her is an irresponsible man which of course if they do get married then it is very possible for something more terrible to happen someday, and of course I also agree with you that there is actually nothing wrong with gambling and the only problem is when a gambler is involved in the wrong way and understanding, meaning the risk and impact of gambling depends on how you treat it.

And how can you tell it’s actually just one mistake. For a man to use money they’ve been saving up for a wedding to gamble only means one thing, which is that he’s already addicted to gambling, because it takes someone battling with addiction to take such a risk. And if that’s the case, then this is certainly not the first time he’s throwing away money meant for something else. Maybe he may have equally done the same with money meant for rent, or some important expenses at home and the woman has been condoling and complaining behind closed doors just to protect her fiancé’s reputation and maybe she just couldn’t take this one anymore. Have you also thought about that possibility?

I agree into this that the girl or wife to be should at least hearing out that mans explanation on why he had done such thing. It would really be just that depending on her whether she will be forgetting this one and will be forgiven or totally be that having that break up and would stop all of these things just because of what happened. Actually we cant blame her if she would really be deciding to leave and breaking up with him because the action has been done is really that totally irresponsible and doesnt really mind about her feelings on which this is already a sign of disrespect. How much more on the time or moment that they are already married?

Pretty sure that she will really be assuming that things becomes even more messy on the moment after wedding or simply with their marriage life on which if a certain guy is already that dealing up with gambling
then you could assume that he would be doing it later on. If the reason of that guy is making that amount to be more bigger for the sake of having more budget on their wedding then i dont see for this to be a valid
reason because there would be other options or ways on doing so without needing to risks those funds which is really that intended for this special day.

You should listen to the explanation to the man why he made the bet using their wedding savings.
This must be investigated, and it is necessary to have a good conversation.

After all, there must be a reason, of course, why the man is so brave to use money that is even very intact.
Whether he is doing his first gamble or indeed he is becoming an addicted gambler, this really has to be straightened out so that it does not become a regret in the end.

This is the importance of gambling with a healthy mind, so that you can control yourself so that you can be a responsible gambler for every decision you make when gambling. Cases like this man are very common in this part of the world, and this may happen for the umpteenth time. Of course, with cases like this, it is a lesson for every gambler, especially those in this forum, so that they do not become gambling addicts, because if gambling has become an addiction, they will definitely do anything, including becoming a murderer.

The woman has made the right choice to advance their marriage, because if not, it might be worse in the future. Because gambling addiction and drug addiction are actually almost the same, they will always do anything to get money to do these activities. Therefore, be a responsible gambler.

a very unfortunate woman, a man like that does not deserve a partner, because he will sell or cheat anyone to fulfill his gambling desires, the woman is very ashamed, but she has decided on the right step because it has thwarted their marriage

Not everybody is perfect and not everybody would tolerate such a mistake from their spouse to be. It is quite unfortunate that this should happen, he might be seeing it as a kind of wanting to see or exploiting means of doubling their savings to surprise his girlfriend but it went south that he lost everything. I was curious as to know if it was his first time of gambling or the possibility of him being convinced by friends or so to try do such hoping that he could win the game and double the money for their marriage. If he is a gambler, that should have been detected by his girlfriend long enough to have known what to do before then and she could have opted to save her money separately than putting it together with him.

His mistake was only that his contribution to the budget was smaller (40% versus 60%). I think it is unfair for the future wife to break off the wedding with him only for a 10% "overdraft".

And if we put the jokes aside, how much would this lady be indignant if the contribution to the budget was significantly outweighed in favor of the man?

And if the man had hit the jackpot, would his actions have ceased to be perceived as a mistake? And the lady in this story valued money and wedding events more than her young man. In my opinion, this lady failed the loyalty test, although the man's conscience is not entirely clear either, because he spent the joint budget in the wrong way. It would have been better to invest in cryptocurrencies (similar to a lottery but with a randomly delayed drawing and announcement of winners ). In general, this couple was worth each other, but let's not go to gossip.

I think that the man got addicted and was unable ro resist the temptation with such funds within his reach. Addiction is something that is uncontrollable when you are not ready to give it up, but I think that the lady should have noticed that her man is a gambler before it got too late, maybe it would have prevented what happened. Gambling is good but when you put profit first, you will get addicted and addiction can destroy you and separate you from your loved ones. Gamble responsible.

As I've said before we all make mistakes. So I also think that this couple can try to work things out together. You can always earn money, you can always get rid of gambling addiction, but it is quite difficult to find a life partner who unselfishly loves you and you love him. I hope these young people will decide to take a step closer and will treat each other more openly and value their relationship.

Do you people think that it is ok to judge person only by one mistake? I find it not fair. They were building relationship for some period, and ending it only after 1 mistake, and ending it so radically. Even though that man made a huge mistake, on scale where are relationships a money, that woman value money more.

Basically it was a really unfortunate incident, I think the disappointment experienced by the woman was not because she contributed a larger amount of funds than the prospective groom but because of the man's actions that were really disappointing and eliminated all the beautiful dreams of the woman. On the other hand I am sure that the actions taken by the man occurred due to several factors, it could be because he wanted to make a more festive party with the winnings generated in gambling or he who had a habit of gambling from the start which coincidentally at that time he was dominated by emotions because of defeat which as we know that a gambler who is already emotional usually they will use any funds just to be able to continue gambling in the hope of returning the previous defeat.

But one thing that maybe I would include the man in the group of impulsive gamblers who gamble without any understanding of what and how gambling really is. On the one hand I think this incident can also be an indication for the woman that the man who will marry her is someone who has a bad personality and is irresponsible, so this incident has negative and positive sides too.

Indeed, for you to use a large sum of money, an important sum of money, for something like a wedding, money that is not even 100% yours for gambling, there is a problem in the brain. If your mind cannot think straight to think two ways - that this money could be lost. I could lose this game and lose this money. The fact that someone is into gambling means you know that it's not all the time you win. As a matter of fact, you lose the big stakes more than you win.

To win a big stake is hard because casinos decides first to profit themselves before you. Most times, it is a small stake you win. But for you not to be able to calm your nerves down, and counter that thought of 'I can double it,  I can win,' and go ahead to use a large sum of money to gamble, then, something is wrong somewhere.

For the lady, I don't know about her, but I would not agree to a transactional man. I know it's okay to support your man, but there are certain important things you have to let the man be a man, like this wedding. If you are saving for a wedding, you will also save to feed in the home. When people get into marriage, it's okay to handle certain things because you are now married.

But a man needs to show capacity to be sure he can even take care of you in that marriage. But I understand that these days, some women might face pressure, that they go ahead to marry with whatever means. But having a transactional relationship, is already a sign of a red flag.

People who gamble for fun certainly will not feel overly emotional when the results of their gambling end in disappointment. There is a good attitude behind this entertainment goal, but it does not mean that those who gamble for fun will continue to be able to accept the reality that maybe sometimes they lose control or lose patience, so in my opinion this is almost the same but the difference lies in the self-control that each of us has mastered. With people who dare to use their savings to gamble, whether it's personal savings or for a wedding or something else, in my opinion, they are people who really have high hopes for gambling, and I think this could happen to those who gamble for fun because we don't know what will happen in the future even though we ourselves can predict it and have been prepared beforehand. But what is clear is that using excessive money to bet or gamble is a very bad behavior, maybe it could be said that there is a loss of common sense in the brain.

I can't say that I completely disagree with you, because there are some players who consider gambling as entertainment, but I think that's another thing, or the point is clear that gamblers who consider gambling as entertainment will not make winning a priority that they should seek, when a gambler knows from the start that gambling is only recommended to be used as entertainment then when they succeed in winning it will not make them pursue a bigger win, so in simple terms I might say that addiction is only possible to occur or be experienced by gamblers who from the start do not know that gambling is only recommended to be used as entertainment or those who know any dangers in gambling so that the first win makes them fall further into the wrong approach that leads them to the addiction.

Nevertheless, we know that some players, after winning, still treat gambling as a way of entertainment and do not become ludomaniacs. So the problem lies precisely in the player and his predisposition to such dependence.