Mentality of Gamblers Before and After Winning - page 10.

leonair

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Quote from: bitbollo on December 08, 2024, 12:06:28 PM

if your wins or losses can influence your gambling behaviour, yes there is problem and some issues here.
if you had such gambling addiction issue, you MUST not play and try to find some help. Also hit a big jackpot is one of the worst things since your brain starts again "why I am not playing?"
But also to your friend you always need to be honest and guide him to avoid any further issue. It's not be embarassed. It's something to be honest.

Yes gambling is a place of entertainment so it is not a problem if one takes it only as entertainment but if one takes gambling seriously and expects to win huge jackpots from here and continues to gamble with that expectation then gambling profit. It is natural that Lose will change his behavior. Because at that time if he wins then he will be very happy and if he loses it will make him very excited and if he loses excessively he will go into depression which will distract him from his other important work.

GigaBit

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Quote from: GxSTxV on December 08, 2024, 07:14:58 AM

What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win. The thrill of success often leaves us wanting more and in this case it seemed like my friend was caught in that cycle, as I was feeling before too and he was unable to honor his word probably because he wanted to keep increasing his gains and bet more. It's a reminder that the brain is never truly satisfied when gambling, there's always the desire for more. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?

Things can happen between friends, but the thing here is what kind of nature of your friend. There are many friends who respect a word and there are many friends who do not change their mind about anything that is said. Moreover, the thing that is seen in gambling is that those who are greedy cannot keep the words of others. If you keep a word from an addicted gambler, it will be difficult to get the respect of that word. It is not new that they will avoid the things they say when they are sick, which is not new. Although not everyone is equal. If a gambler know about self control and can lost his control in gambling, losing the value of a word is no big deal to him.

Probably that the guy did not forget to give you the percentage but he is acting as he forgot. I think if you want to test him on that matter, you will not get any positive results.

kotajikikox

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Quote from: GxSTxV on December 08, 2024, 07:14:58 AM

However, the next day my friend avoided me and didn't follow through on his promise even though I wouldn’t have minded if he didn’t.

Quote

I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?

Mate, he’s not asking for an advice so I would recommend to not give him any. It might just make him distance himself further than you. Even if you mean well and have good intentions it might not appear that way to him.

As per the money he “promised” you, he probably just said it from the heat of the moment. It wasn’t serious but if you want to see how he’ll react just joke lightly about it. Mention it casually and if he says he will give you money then say no. Easy as that.

swogerino

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The mentality of gamblers before winning is that they think that they will win otherwise they don't start gambling at all and that is the case with the majority of us, in fact this is emphasized when are having a good time around, when our financial situation improves we are much more prone to throw some money to gambling because we think since we are doing good everywhere else in life we will also do good with gambling. The majority of times we lose and we get super bored, sad and sometimes even worse we got in a rage phase and we don't know what to do next.

When we win the adrenaline goes at the top and we think like we have just saved the world, a feeling of being satisfied and fulfilled which if not managed well it risks to turn us in a very fragile person who can make very cloudy decisions affecting our lives, that is why it is better to withdraw money and only play with the winnings. If winnings are big then we withdraw them and keep playing with our initial amount.

bitbollo

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if your wins or losses can influence your gambling behaviour, yes there is problem and some issues here.
if you had such gambling addiction issue, you MUST not play and try to find some help. Also hit a big jackpot is one of the worst things since your brain starts again "why I am not playing?"
But also to your friend you always need to be honest and guide him to avoid any further issue. It's not be embarassed. It's something to be honest.

iv4n

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There are different people, and everyone has different behaviors when they lose and when they win. I guess your friend is not ready to put the money where his mouth is, so maybe he is not a good person and friend. Something to think about...

Quote from: GxSTxV on December 08, 2024, 07:14:58 AM

I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?

There are indirect ways to ask him, but then it seems as if you are ashamed and afraid of something, and there is no reason for that. A nice and direct conversation is always a better solution, if possible... it's up to you to decide if you care about that friend or money, and do what you think it's the best thing. From my experience confronting people often leads to some kind of split, but in my case, it's hard for me to keep quiet about some stuff... maybe you are a different person.

Hazink

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I don't really know if I will say humans are just naturally that way because this eagerness to have more, no matter the amount we get our hands on, is just in almost everyone; sometimes it's as if humans are just naturally greedy, but only a few are able to manage their greed to the minimum level.

One thing about this whole situation is that he won't even want to know if you truly care about the money; all not inside of him, he has already calculated how he will not give it to you and the strategy he will use to escape from honouring his promise.

bittraffic

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The subtlest way to do it is to post on your social media account about a gambler that have learned his lesson. You're gambling friend is a friend of yours in social media? You can just hope that he seen you post or you could be bolder by tagging him Cheesy

After that. You can just hope that your friend will take it easy. Friends always have some differences.

I have a different mentality every time I gamble. I always think its the last time I will gamble but the next day, I will still be promising the same, its the last time I will gamble. Cheesy

Saint-loup

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It's sad if it really happened in the same way as you explain, because it gives a bad image of gambling and of sport bettors in the end. Usually it's the opposite actually, gamblers tend to distribute money to their friends for sharing their joyce around them, especially when winnings are unexpected. So they are even happy to spend their money like that. But here, he finally prefered to save few winnings than a good relationship with his friend drearily. I wouldn't say you deserve a better friend, because I don't think it's really a serious thing but he certainly needs to grow a bit more in order to avoid making false promises.

Pandu Geddon

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Quote from: GxSTxV on December 08, 2024, 07:14:58 AM

What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win. The thrill of success often leaves us wanting more and in this case it seemed like my friend was caught in that cycle, as I was feeling before too and he was unable to honor his word probably because he wanted to keep increasing his gains and bet more. It's a reminder that the brain is never truly satisfied when gambling, there's always the desire for more. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?

A person's mentality is straightforward to change when they get a win in their bet. But it all depends on your friend's character who might be like that. Just making you happy with the offer to share the win but after everything is over he spills everything he says.
I don't know how you will open a conversation with your friend. Because he must avoid you for some time. But after a few rounds that make him lose, maybe he will come back to you to talk about something related to gambling. And at that time, you can give him advice that might be too late. At least you can tell him how to reduce or stop his gambling.

alani123

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Many gamblers tend to be very cocky when they win anything.
The very reason casinos have such huge profits is that even when someone wins something they tend to give it right back at the casino. So really it's a safe business, but only for the casino.

The gambler to walk away with profits is a very rare occasion. Not because of house edge being high, actually online casinos have very high RTP for industry standards. But it's the mentality that hunders the ability of players to win anything and actually walk away with it. So indeed it's a very important aspect on the individual level.

Renampun

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Quote from: GxSTxV on December 08, 2024, 07:14:58 AM

I have shared with the community before how I stopped gambling and am currently healing from that addiction. However, recently I had an interesting experience with a friend who was just getting started with sports betting (football). He placed small bets on several football matches, and to his excitement he won 10 out of 11 in a combined bet. He was excited and waiting the final match, knowing it would bring him a huge gain. I supported him telling him he would win and he even promised to give me 10% of his earnings if he won that combined bet with around @1400 odds in total.

The match ended with a win and we were both happy. Personally, I wasn't concerned about receiving any money from him as I was more focused on my recovery to not set a bet or deposit ever again. However, the next day my friend avoided me and didn't follow through on his promise even though I wouldn’t have minded if he didn’t.

What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win. The thrill of success often leaves us wanting more and in this case it seemed like my friend was caught in that cycle, as I was feeling before too and he was unable to honor his word probably because he wanted to keep increasing his gains and bet more. It's a reminder that the brain is never truly satisfied when gambling, there's always the desire for more. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?

if you want to discuss money with an active gambler but you are someone who is uncomfortable then you must make a firm and solid word, the purpose is to make him aware that he has a responsibility that must be fulfilled, but you also have to prepare yourself for the rejection that is likely to be quite large for you to receive.

an active gambler is usually very weak with their responsibilities that is the reason why many active gamblers fail to pay their debts, so for the future try not to lend money to active gamblers anymore, there are many reasons to reject them.

GreatArkansas

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Quote from: GxSTxV on December 08, 2024, 07:14:58 AM

(....)
What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win. The thrill of success often leaves us wanting more and in this case it seemed like my friend was caught in that cycle, as I was feeling before too and he was unable to honor his word probably because he wanted to keep increasing his gains and bet more. It's a reminder that the brain is never truly satisfied when gambling, there's always the desire for more. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?

I think this issue is really into the person, maybe he is also affected by gambling or whatever he has now. Another question since you are in the process of healing, is that not difficult for you to engage in such activities even though you are not putting bets anymore?
And I believe talking to your friend is good choice, maybe something you did wrong or him, like it's not about what he promised.

GxSTxV

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Quote from: m2017 on December 08, 2024, 08:17:25 AM

~

Well, honestly, gambling has left a lasting impact on my life these days, even as I work hard to stay away from it. This recent experience with my friend reminded me of how deeply it affects our mindset. Winning creates a rush that clouds judgment ad making us chase more instead of appreciating what we have.
I have e been there, caught in that and it’s why I stopped gambling and began healing. This situation wasn’t about the money he promised but about how gambling changes us, often pulling us further into it grip. It’s a powerful reminder that gambling takes more than it gives, even when it feels like you are winning.
I have even attached a screenshot from my friends phone from the day he won, right before withdrawing the money. It’s a strange turn of events.

Alphakilo

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Quote from: GxSTxV on December 08, 2024, 07:14:58 AM

is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?

There are many ways to speak truthfully with your friend without him thinking that you are requesting the money that he promised you.

Start by catching him at a time when he is sober, that is when his mood is normal, neither happy nor sad. Begin your conversation by clearing any misconception he would have about the conversation such as using it as a means to ask for the money. Let him know your true intention.

Then go on and share you story with him. Your message is not to discourage him from gambling because that would be counterproductive. Your message is be based on responsible gambling. It will be more effective.

Findingnemo

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Moral of the story: people change.

This happens in everyone's life too, like you and someone been a buddy in the school days and one became successful very much in the career and other one was struggling for the right chance. The one who is being successful can give that chance if they want but they never will cause they afraid of others success especially from the closest one which is why they will always try to keep under their limits so they can feel superior.

Su-asa

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It's not just the mentality about gambling but also the spitting behind money, he didn't go through with his plans because he got greedy, this is human nature and it takes discipline to overcome it. There's such a thing called beginners luck in gambling and most newbies experience this. It makes them addicted to gambling and within a few months of locking into the game they will lose more than what they won on their first trial. If you set your mind on recovering from your addiction don't let someone else's win lure you back into. Remember that gambling is a losing game and it doesn't matter if you win, as long as you are constantly involved in it you must lose.

vs2014

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This happens in many cases like i consoled my friend when i lost a big bet and my friend also lost. It's really sympathetic because losing money changes everyone mindset. We should understand that the fun money won in gambling does not last forever because he will spend it all one day and then come back to you. The day your friend wins big money he will be very happy and he will run to different places to enjoy his happiness. Gamblers are at the peak of excitement, maybe he has won a few bets, or he has lost again.

Text

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Quote from: GxSTxV on December 08, 2024, 07:14:58 AM

-snip
I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?

I think it's only natural for someone new to gambling to feel excited about a big win.

If I were in your position OP I would approach the conversation with empathy and focus on his well-being. I would tell him that I noticed how excited he is about his big win and that I'm genuinely happy for him. I would also check in on how he is doing because I’ve been in that situation before and understand how tempting it can be to chase that feeling. I’d let him know that I’m here if he ever want to talk about it. I would offer my support without bringing up money or making him feel defensive. I want him to know my door is always open for a deeper conversation where I can share my own journey and provide guidance if he seems open to it.

adultcrypto

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Quote from: GxSTxV on December 08, 2024, 07:14:58 AM

The thrill of success often leaves us wanting more and in this case it seemed like my friend was caught in that cycle, as I was feeling before too and he was unable to honor his word probably because he wanted to keep increasing his gains and bet more. It's a reminder that the brain is never truly satisfied when gambling, there's always the desire for more. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?

This is why many gamblers that win end up giving the money back, the quest to get more after success. In some instances, when the winning comes so easily, gamblers are tempted to think that it will continue that way, consequently, some increase the amount they use to bet, throw caution to the wind and only find out the hard way after they have given the winnings back and are left to source for fresh capital to make deposit. It is paramount that a gambler work out his actions before placing the bet and after the bet is settled. So if it is winning then, he should know how to manage the winning and when a loss too, there should be a way to handle that.

Topic: Mentality of Gamblers Before and After Winning - page 10. (Read 1875 times)