Topic: Mentality of Gamblers Before and After Winning - page 8. (Read 1639 times)

It is normal for anyone to have the feelings of fighting back but he who fights and run away lives to fight another day, indeed resisting such feelings of fighting back is exactly what will makes you to be on top of your game because your in full control of your emotions, fighting back without getting some break can always lead to more losses because your decisions at that very point in time is made under pressure which is very wrong making you very vulnerable and the final result can be addiction unknowingly to you. It is good to always recognize entry and exit points while gambling whether we are winning or Lossing.

To address the issue of how to talk to your friend without embarrassing them or making them feel pressured to pay, I suggest a direct but empathetic approach...

Invite your friend to a neutral and comfortable place for both of you, such as a park or a quiet cafe, or even a nice place you often go together where you can talk without interruptions. Make sure the place is conducive to open conversation, then express your happiness that they won and ask how they feel after this big win.

Also talk about your own journey of recovery from gambling addiction, explaining how you noticed the change in your mindset after winning and how it led you into a vicious cycle, but speak without judgment. Finally, instead of focusing on the promised money, offer your support in their journey of self-control, let them know that you understand the temptation and that you are there to help them by suggesting strategies you have used or money management techniques that can help them control their impulses.

Finally, suggest an amicable agreement where you both commit to supporting each other in times of temptation and agree before making any significant bets to discuss the risks and benefits, acting as a reality check for each other.

The most important thing, much more than the money, is always the friendship, and I'm sure that once that is reestablished he will feel obligated to fulfill his promise on his own.

So how will you react after winning will determine if your winnings will be worthwhile or not. It will be worthwhile if you will invest on some assets so you can generate profit from it later on, and would be useless, if you will come back playing and lose it all. Now, the choice is yours how you would want to spend your winnings and make the most out of it.

While I partially agree with you about the effects winning does have on gamblers, I also want to draw your attention to the fact that both winning and losing have very similar effects. For instance, if a gambler is losing his gambles, he'll want to gamble more in other to recover his lost fortunes. Also, when a gambler is winning, he'll also want to gamble more just to increase his winnings. So it's very necessary that a gambler disciplines himself so he can know when to continue gambling and when to quit.

Winning has its own effect it comes with just like w e do see with loosing where you want to continue with the mind that you will surely win and recover so it with winning where you may think you can double and increase your winnings, you may even feel you are becoming skillful enough and so you can literally win the game again for a second time forgetting you may have been just lucky, I see it that basically that was what played out with the Case of your friend, some kind of winning always comes with wanting more meanwhile some others who have got discipline will definitely not come with such.

You're right, may be the %10 not something he can easily give out due the fact of him thinking that he was that risk it all , but the part he messed is avoiding you , you guys are friends if you know you can't give out the %10 (that's why Is good not to promise something when you happy or sad) , but still he should have  give something even though is not that amount he promised,  getting little is better than not getting anything at all .

For me I won’t even think his behavior had anything to do with his winning - I think that’s just the way he is.

If he was a trustworthy person he would have gone through with his promise even if it meant that he’d give you a huge amount of his win or if he was being considerate he’d have talked to you about reducing the amount a bit since he did it probably because of the hormonal rush (that’s if the amount is indeed large) but the fact that he showed no interest in keeping to his part of the deal shows that he’s not to be trusted with other things since that’s how he’ll still behave after achieving what he wants.

I completely agree that a gambler's personality before betting and after betting will not be the same. The situation of that friend may change after betting as he was before placing the bet. Maybe after winning one bet, he gets a significant return, but he may lose more in another bet. But after winning one bet, that person must have taken a break so that he can make better decisions in his next bet. A big problem of an addicted gambler is that he does not know when to stop. Some know but cannot follow it. There are many gamblers in gambling who think win one after another and lose. Without a doubt, your friend is a compulsive gambler or he is addicted to gambling.

It would really be just that a waste of friendship if ever this one wont really be that clarified out specially if OP isnt really that going after for the money but his friend do really trying out to avoid just because he dont wanna give that amount as he promised but well since OP isnt really that asking nor its just fine on not to get his share at least then its a good sign that he's really that not into money but rather on the friendship and relationship that he has with his friend on which i could say that this is more valuable rather than with that 10% amount. Its really just that sad that there are indeed people who are really that
ready on exchanging anything for the sake of money and doesnt really give out at least some importance about on things on which it do end up on having that kind of break of relationship.

This is very correct; gambling is just something else, and we all have that in us, which always wants to discourage us in times we want to gamble, not to gamble, and sometimes it leads us to winning, and the zed to continue always comes to us, and it's hard to avoid it, and when we lose, we always want to start fighting to get back what we have lost and still try to get more, which it takes someone hard work to resist that zed because it always leads to losing more funds.

You should be wondering what kind of friend he is? In this case we necessarily have to put aside gambling and about fulfilling his promises. I believe the easiest money to give someone should be that gotten from gambling compared to the one that was worked and earned. I have seen in some physical gambling shops, how after a big win people who won just gift out few percentage of the money won to those who were present at that moment, they do this without considering being a friend or not, most times they do not know each other or even just knowing by face alone due to always using the same gambling location. Your friends act was something personal, it is not any lifestyle of a gambler, and his mentality was not only bad but actually a greedy one.

There's no other way. You have to tell him directly, like to honor his promise about giving you 10% of his winning, but if its ok for you and he did not honor it, then you also have to directly tell him, because if you do not and he loses all the money he won, he will end up blaming you for not reminding him about your shares that he promised.
I experienced that myself and was blamed for not reminding the guy of what was promised to me. Gamblers have twisted minds when winning and losing it afterwards.

Mentality of gamblers are not always the same, some will likely continue gambling after much loss to recover their loses or will continue gambling after wining to increase the chance of more win. While some will quite emediately they lose or win big to avoid more loses knowing the risk involved. But however in which ever way, most gambler falls under the category of people who continue gambling after lose or win due to either chasing after loses or gambling out of greed. And I think your friend fall in that category.

Yes, that's what happens when someone is addicted to gambling. They always make unnecessary promises and promises that they can't keep. I've been fooled by them several times, when they borrow money to gamble, and they promise to return it as soon as possible, especially if they win, they promise to pay more.

and before my eyes, I once saw that he had won a number of wins and it was more than 10 times the amount of money he deposited. But instead of paying his debt to me, he deposited all the money he earned on various gambling sites. in the end, the winnings were used again for gambling and the debt to me is still unpaid. and starting from several incidents made me reluctant to lend money to gamblers again, but on the other hand when someone is addicted to gambling, they have a lot of tricks to get loans so they can gamble, yes, such as pretending to be sick or running out of money on the trip. and stupidly I always believe in their tricks, because my instincts and conscience can't if I see people in trouble even though they are just pretending.

You can call him and behave like you just found out that he has won the last game, congratulate him, and ask him how he feels about the win. He should probably remember his promise when you do that, and if he has at least some ethics in him, he should realize his mistake and may even mention his promise. If he doesn't mention anything about it, just leave it and don't ask him anything directly, and remember next time that no one would happily give you anything from what they have won by making bets with their own money even if they say they would.

People these days are too greedy to honor their words, especially in such situations where they know they are obligated to do it since they didn't ask money from you before making the bets so that they would return the favor. He probably said that out of happiness and probably didn't mean it.

as i see it, it's another reminder to stay away from gambling, and from people around you IRL who gamble.
stay strong brother. this shall pass, and only the lessons learned and memories will remain.


i really want to give your friend the benefit of the doubt and say maybe he will follow through on his promise later. but looking at the win, which is around $8k, 10% is a lot knowing where you are from.
probably why he's going back on his word. but if you ask him and he say no or start to give excuses, then fuck him!

i would rather have no friends than friends who go back on their word.

Wanting more is the common mentality of every gambler. Before we risk, our inner mind used to have the thought to stop gambling once the bet is won. If the bet has won, then the gambler goes further looking for the win on the next bet. If the bet is lost, the gambler's mind starts to look for opportunities to recover what is being lost. This is common, and what we see is the incident between two friends. At the end we were able to understand that money can change one's mentality in no time. We need to be mature enough to handle situations in a positive way.

The thoughts of wanting more is constant in our minds, leave gambling  aside we all want more especially when its the taste of success. Well there is a great saying that " never make promises when  you are too excited " because when your not in that mood  anymore, you may come into realization of the inconveniences those promises may cause you. The did has already been done and if your friend fails to redeem his promises or even half of what he promised then his actions are wrong but of a fact it's his money and he can do whatever he wishes to do with it. But its better not to have made those promises to a friend  than to destroy a long lasting relationship because of 10% of your wining, though I know how one can come to realization that he had made a mistake for making promises regardless the amount of money you won, something the amount cannot be able to take care of our needs and want. But the best option is to let go the amount of money you promised.

My advise is, if he doesn't give you anything off his promise, move on. He is not to first to break promises, but surely he'll come to realization someday.

i would agree that honoring promises is important but it is not like they signed a contract to say that his friend will give him a percentage of his earnings however what my problem would be with his friend avoiding him is clearly he has changed

we should always remember where we come from and he doesn’t seem to be doing that now that he is earning from gambling money definitely changes you but it shouldn’t be that way

If you don't mind him not keeping his promise, then I think you can just act normal or maybe, you can ask him casually or jokingly. That way, you will know how he will respond, whether he will give you a percentage of the profits earned as promised, or maybe he still doesn't give what he promised himself. That way, you will know his true nature and then, you  can still consider him as a friend,or you can also leave or no longer care about him as a friend. But yes, if you really want to keep your friend good, then you can give him advice, because that kind of mentality will make him addicted  to gambling over time.