I don't think if this mentality is of the gamblers alone but of unserious people much occupied people.
Let me expand some bit, unserious people as regarded as that of your friend that failed his promise with you are such persons who have needs to be solved by finance and are craving for the money to come so that they could actualize it dependently on what they had earlier set in place to execute it for, but when the money comes, they rather lavishes it or spending on places they never had an earlier plans for initially.
The occupied ones are people who had drafted the essential places to spend the money when it comes but due to projects and responsibilities, they could not be able to meet up their initial tasks so they rather spend it on some other essential needs.
As for your friend, from from when he said he was going to give you 10% if he wins when you did not contribute to his winning neither did you participate in any assistance was enough to be in doubt with him because as for me, 10% is too much to give you just like that because I know what it takes to win in the gambling. Though I can be affordable to give you such amount of money in other way of my earning.
However. I don't like people living by promising without fulfilment but what I can only tell you is to let go off expecting he was going to give you some of the money won as regarded.
Topic: Mentality of Gamblers Before and After Winning - page 8. (Read 1875 times)
That's basically about character. Not all people are like that. Not all gamblers are like him. Staying true to your word isn't about "the thrill of success" or your desire to keep your gains increasing. It's simply about yourself and the kind of person you are.
I don't think it's worth the effort to approach him and give him an advice. Just take his words lightly next time. Whatever he promises you, take it with a pinch of salt. If that's his character, people won't take him seriously.
I don't think it's worth the effort to approach him and give him an advice. Just take his words lightly next time. Whatever he promises you, take it with a pinch of salt. If that's his character, people won't take him seriously.
We should not take some promises seriously, because they were given in a special emotional state. And demanding the fulfillment of such hasty emotional promises, in my opinion, is not very nice. It is best to forget this promise and never remind your friend about it if the author wants to maintain the friendship. I think that the author of the start-post has not yet completely given up on the idea of earning money on bets and has not completely recovered from the addiction. Otherwise, he would not care who wins and how much. The most important thing is not to feel envy and not to lay claim to a part of someone else's success.
...The match ended with a win and we were both happy. Personally, I wasn't concerned about receiving any money from him as I was more focused on my recovery to not set a bet or deposit ever again. However, the next day my friend avoided me and didn't follow through on his promise even though I wouldn’t have minded if he didn’t...
I think anyone would be willing to give even half of their winnings if only their bet would be successful. That's exactly what your friend did, feeling the pre-match excitement. But after his bet turned out to be a winner, he thought that you did nothing to get 10% of the amount of his winnings, since he did the financial expenses and forecast the result of the match on his own. Do you really think that you have the right to demand 10% of your friend's winnings?
Well I think most of us (gamblers) have experienced or done that action when we were still beginners, I think it's quite reasonable considering beginners who are really very enthusiastic in responding to the winning situation they managed to get which ultimately makes them really do not hesitate to use the money from the winnings to bet again with a much larger bet amount, and that action is done based on a feeling of great certainty and high self-confidence. But it is clear that regardless of whether you are a beginner or not, such actions should not be done, because anything excessive is always prohibited, because in the end it will definitely happen like what your friend OP experienced, where instead of getting a much bigger win, he actually lost all the previous winnings, and this is the reason why we are always advised to improve our approach to gambling, at least have the ability to stop at the right time.
That happens mostly even not in gambling matters. We're all emotional and we promise a lot when we're too happy and that's there's a saying about this.
"Don't promise when you're too happy"
And with your friend, I think that he was too overwhelmed with the result and he has really no obligation to give you that. He just said those words out of happiness but at least he has to tell you that he can't make his promise into reality after realizing that 10% is quite big for him to giveaway.
True indeed. Even not in gambling, there are still a lot of people who often do promises out of their overwhelming feeling, but after a day or two, those promises were not even remembered then."Don't promise when you're too happy"
And with your friend, I think that he was too overwhelmed with the result and he has really no obligation to give you that. He just said those words out of happiness but at least he has to tell you that he can't make his promise into reality after realizing that 10% is quite big for him to giveaway.
But in gambling, I know most the gamblers remember their word, and really make efforts to honor their promise. Be it big or small win, as long as there’s profits, those gamblers will really make it up to those they have made promises.
What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win. The thrill of success often leaves us wanting more and in this case it seemed like my friend was caught in that cycle, as I was feeling before too and he was unable to honor his word probably because he wanted to keep increasing his gains and bet more. It's a reminder that the brain is never truly satisfied when gambling, there's always the desire for more. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?
I experienced that myself and was blamed for not reminding the guy of what was promised to me. Gamblers have twisted minds when winning and losing it afterwards.
And the earlier you do this the better for you because if you waste too much time on this demands, you know how gambler's behave very soon he may tell you that he have gambled away all the winnings and have nothing left to settle you of your 10 %, so delay is dangerous for you at this point in time and you need to act fast, unless you want to lose your entitlement at the end of the day.
That happens mostly even not in gambling matters. We're all emotional and we promise a lot when we're too happy and that's there's a saying about this.
"Don't promise when you're too happy"
And with your friend, I think that he was too overwhelmed with the result and he has really no obligation to give you that. He just said those words out of happiness but at least he has to tell you that he can't make his promise into reality after realizing that 10% is quite big for him to giveaway.
"Don't promise when you're too happy"
And with your friend, I think that he was too overwhelmed with the result and he has really no obligation to give you that. He just said those words out of happiness but at least he has to tell you that he can't make his promise into reality after realizing that 10% is quite big for him to giveaway.
What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win.
Even though you could be right, I would say it depends on a person's nature and how they generally are from their heart. When your heart is in the right place, you won't do things like these because your mind will keep reminding you of your conditional words and promises that you have made with people before, either winning a lottery, a big win, or anything else that was about to occur.
The guy you are talking about is both a gambler and a person with a bad heart. Sorry to say this about your friend, but it's the truth.
I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?
I would suggest you leave him alone after what has happened. You shouldn't reach out first or try to contact or stay in touch. If he keeps a distance from you while he is doing well and comes back to you if he is struggling financially, that is when you can remind him of this time and tell him that what he did wasn't right and that a person shouldn't be so proud of themselves because everything is temporary.
The match ended with a win and we were both happy. Personally, I wasn't concerned about receiving any money from him as I was more focused on my recovery to not set a bet or deposit ever again. However, the next day my friend avoided me and didn't follow through on his promise even though I wouldn’t have minded if he didn’t.
...and this is exactly how you'd start feeling betrayed for trying to act like the "Mr good guy" -- IRL, nothing goes into the good guy's pockets. He may have certainly developed some thoughts about the fact that you didn't wager of these odds, but advised him to do so.That way, it's obvious that you saw that as some rocket science shit, but it later paid off in a wholesome - that alone would be a motivation to you and, if this is true, there's every tendency that you may fall back to give it a one-last-trial observation, and that's it!
I dunno the kind of agreements you had with him, but it's not strange that he's behaving that way after the funds came in.
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What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win.
"Never trust the words out of the mouth of a man in a muddy pit".. he can say anything just to saved, thereafter, switching up like a chameleon and becoming your worst rivalry, just to avoid paying you back in good coins. 
In my case, it was worse than yours. I told my relative that I bet on sports and the guy asked me to lend him money to bet. Since it was a small amount and the bet was for fun, I didn't see any problem in lending him money. He made a multi-bet with many teams, the odds were very high. So he said that if he won, he would give me my money back, although I didn't want him to give it back to me. The fact is that he got the bet right and won a lot of money, but the guy disappeared all day. He spent all the money and only told me he won after it was all over.
To make matters worse, he asked me to lend him the same amount of money to make another bet. I was irritated by that attitude, but I lent him the money again and to my great surprise, he won again and disappeared again and only told me he won after spending it all. Then he came to ask me for money again, I gave it to him again and this time the guy lost the bet, he was nervous every day and it seemed like he blamed me for his defeat, the guy became unbearable and I left his house as soon as I finished what I had to do.
To make matters worse, he asked me to lend him the same amount of money to make another bet. I was irritated by that attitude, but I lent him the money again and to my great surprise, he won again and disappeared again and only told me he won after spending it all. Then he came to ask me for money again, I gave it to him again and this time the guy lost the bet, he was nervous every day and it seemed like he blamed me for his defeat, the guy became unbearable and I left his house as soon as I finished what I had to do.
The match ended with a win and we were both happy. Personally, I wasn't concerned about receiving any money from him as I was more focused on my recovery to not set a bet or deposit ever again. However, the next day my friend avoided me and didn't follow through on his promise even though I wouldn’t have minded if he didn’t.
What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win. The thrill of success often leaves us wanting more and in this case it seemed like my friend was caught in that cycle, as I was feeling before too and he was unable to honor his word probably because he wanted to keep increasing his gains and bet more. It's a reminder that the brain is never truly satisfied when gambling, there's always the desire for more. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?
What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win. The thrill of success often leaves us wanting more and in this case it seemed like my friend was caught in that cycle, as I was feeling before too and he was unable to honor his word probably because he wanted to keep increasing his gains and bet more. It's a reminder that the brain is never truly satisfied when gambling, there's always the desire for more. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?
Maybe you can throw a few jokes and see his reaction. But if he still didn't want to give you some money as he promised, then so be it. If he is really your friend then I do not think that he will suddenly can't remember it or just have a selective memory.
Nevertheless, I have encountered several individuals with that kind of attitude and I'm not bothered. Even if heard him giving others some money from gambling. Still fine with me. At the end of the day, we are still friends so I do not take it personally. What if I win next? Do I need to give him some?
I have shared with the community before how I stopped gambling and am currently healing from that addiction. However, recently I had an interesting experience with a friend who was just getting started with sports betting (football). He placed small bets on several football matches, and to his excitement he won 10 out of 11 in a combined bet. He was excited and waiting the final match, knowing it would bring him a huge gain. I supported him telling him he would win and he even promised to give me 10% of his earnings if he won that combined bet with around @1400 odds in total.
The match ended with a win and we were both happy. Personally, I wasn't concerned about receiving any money from him as I was more focused on my recovery to not set a bet or deposit ever again. However, the next day my friend avoided me and didn't follow through on his promise even though I wouldn’t have minded if he didn’t.
What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win. The thrill of success often leaves us wanting more and in this case it seemed like my friend was caught in that cycle, as I was feeling before too and he was unable to honor his word probably because he wanted to keep increasing his gains and bet more. It's a reminder that the brain is never truly satisfied when gambling, there's always the desire for more. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?
Why would that embarrass him? It sounds like you are embarrassed to ask, if you need to hint about it indirectly rather then confronting him directly.The match ended with a win and we were both happy. Personally, I wasn't concerned about receiving any money from him as I was more focused on my recovery to not set a bet or deposit ever again. However, the next day my friend avoided me and didn't follow through on his promise even though I wouldn’t have minded if he didn’t.
What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win. The thrill of success often leaves us wanting more and in this case it seemed like my friend was caught in that cycle, as I was feeling before too and he was unable to honor his word probably because he wanted to keep increasing his gains and bet more. It's a reminder that the brain is never truly satisfied when gambling, there's always the desire for more. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?
But just be aware that you didn't risk anything, and technically he doesn't owe you anything. He can decide if he wants to keep his word or he can even say that he wasn't serious about it.
And one more thing, as you are healing from that addiction you might be better off forgetting the whole thing. It's not the losses you get hooked on, it's the winnings. And what you might derive from that is that you can make winning choices so you might slip on trying that yourself one day.
You can't expect someone who win to share his/her luck to other people, though the positivity they had saying they'll share was only the excitement based on their emotional fire. Gamblers decision making will eventually change by the the they'll able to achieve winning jackpot, most of them will change and couldn't fulfill their thoughts. Worst case scenario, they'll ending up to lose all those winnings and back to zero without giving out shares to people who hope positively from a winner.
. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?
If he himself promised, then he is obliged to pay you the amount that was agreed upon in advance.Friend or not a friend, it does not matter at all, I would demand my percentage if the person promised. If he does not pay, then your friendship was worth exactly the amount that he did not give, and perhaps this is even for the better, since in a more serious situation he would have behaved even worse. This is life and it is full of surprises. 
What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win. The thrill of success often leaves us wanting more and in this case it seemed like my friend was caught in that cycle, as I was feeling before too and he was unable to honor his word probably because he wanted to keep increasing his gains and bet more. It's a reminder that the brain is never truly satisfied when gambling, there's always the desire for more. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?
What type of advice do you want to give your friend? Is he for him to stop gambling or he should try to always fulfill his promise when he makes one?
I know this saying that goes that, one should never believe in the words of a gambler, they never fulfill their promises and makes a lot of them. Personally, I think the way a gambler feels anytime he places a bet is what makes them make a lot of promises. They always have this conviction that they’re going to win their bet and will give out plenty of money to people as they promised. Not knowing that after a win, they’ll tend to risk the money back to win more and that’s what begins to make them lose even the little they may have earned earlier. A gambler is never satisfied and those that gets to earn little and take away their winnings without playing again, finds it hard to give money out. So don’t feel bad about your friend, that’s how most gamblers behave and it may also happen to anyone if they’re in the same shoes as them.
Wanting more is the common mentality of every gambler. Before we risk, our inner mind used to have the thought to stop gambling once the bet is won. If the bet has won, then the gambler goes further looking for the win on the next bet. If the bet is lost, the gambler's mind starts to look for opportunities to recover what is being lost. This is common, and what we see is the incident between two friends. At the end we were able to understand that money can change one's mentality in no time. We need to be mature enough to handle situations in a positive way.
This is very correct; gambling is just something else, and we all have that in us, which always wants to discourage us in times we want to gamble, not to gamble, and sometimes it leads us to winning, and the zed to continue always comes to us, and it's hard to avoid it, and when we lose, we always want to start fighting to get back what we have lost and still try to get more, which it takes someone hard work to resist that zed because it always leads to losing more funds.It is normal for anyone to have the feelings of fighting back but he who fights and run away lives to fight another day, indeed resisting such feelings of fighting back is exactly what will makes you to be on top of your game because your in full control of your emotions, fighting back without getting some break can always lead to more losses because your decisions at that very point in time is made under pressure which is very wrong making you very vulnerable and the final result can be addiction unknowingly to you. It is good to always recognize entry and exit points while gambling whether we are winning or Lossing.
The match ended with a win and we were both happy. Personally, I wasn't concerned about receiving any money from him as I was more focused on my recovery to not set a bet or deposit ever again. However, the next day my friend avoided me and didn't follow through on his promise even though I wouldn’t have minded if he didn’t.
To address the issue of how to talk to your friend without embarrassing them or making them feel pressured to pay, I suggest a direct but empathetic approach...
Invite your friend to a neutral and comfortable place for both of you, such as a park or a quiet cafe, or even a nice place you often go together where you can talk without interruptions. Make sure the place is conducive to open conversation, then express your happiness that they won and ask how they feel after this big win.
Also talk about your own journey of recovery from gambling addiction, explaining how you noticed the change in your mindset after winning and how it led you into a vicious cycle, but speak without judgment. Finally, instead of focusing on the promised money, offer your support in their journey of self-control, let them know that you understand the temptation and that you are there to help them by suggesting strategies you have used or money management techniques that can help them control their impulses.
Finally, suggest an amicable agreement where you both commit to supporting each other in times of temptation and agree before making any significant bets to discuss the risks and benefits, acting as a reality check for each other.
The most important thing, much more than the money, is always the friendship, and I'm sure that once that is reestablished he will feel obligated to fulfill his promise on his own.
Winning has its own effect it comes with just like w e do see with loosing where you want to continue with the mind that you will surely win and recover so it with winning where you may think you can double and increase your winnings, you may even feel you are becoming skillful enough and so you can literally win the game again for a second time forgetting you may have been just lucky, I see it that basically that was what played out with the Case of your friend, some kind of winning always comes with wanting more meanwhile some others who have got discipline will definitely not come with such.
So how will you react after winning will determine if your winnings will be worthwhile or not. It will be worthwhile if you will invest on some assets so you can generate profit from it later on, and would be useless, if you will come back playing and lose it all. Now, the choice is yours how you would want to spend your winnings and make the most out of it.
Winning has its own effect it comes with just like w e do see with loosing where you want to continue with the mind that you will surely win and recover so it with winning where you may think you can double and increase your winnings, you may even feel you are becoming skillful enough and so you can literally win the game again for a second time forgetting you may have been just lucky, I see it that basically that was what played out with the Case of your friend, some kind of winning always comes with wanting more meanwhile some others who have got discipline will definitely not come with such.
While I partially agree with you about the effects winning does have on gamblers, I also want to draw your attention to the fact that both winning and losing have very similar effects. For instance, if a gambler is losing his gambles, he'll want to gamble more in other to recover his lost fortunes. Also, when a gambler is winning, he'll also want to gamble more just to increase his winnings. So it's very necessary that a gambler disciplines himself so he can know when to continue gambling and when to quit. Jump to: