Mentality of Gamblers Before and After Winning - page 6.

Hispo

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Quote from: GxSTxV on December 08, 2024, 07:14:58 AM

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What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win. The thrill of success often leaves us wanting more and in this case it seemed like my friend was caught in that cycle, as I was feeling before too and he was unable to honor his word probably because he wanted to keep increasing his gains and bet more. It's a reminder that the brain is never truly satisfied when gambling, there's always the desire for more. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?

It is similar to what happens to the brain of traders when they are having a good luck rush and they can feel the money coming their way, they just want to have more and more because of the huge amount of greed invades their body and mind.
In my opinion, if you actually consider that person to be a genuine friend, you should have a heart-to-heart and make clear you don't actually are pressuring him to give you some money out of what he promised, you don't even need directly to approach him, you could send him a text message clearing up the situation.
In the end, it is very sad when a long standing friendship gets spoiled because some money or a broken promise because of greed.
It is easy to promise money one does not have to begin with, but once money reaches ones hands, it is more difficult to let him go.

Hopefully he does not become addicted to gambling in the same way you used to, though.

Docnaster

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Quote from: lovesmayfamilis on December 09, 2024, 05:37:50 AM

If this is your friend, why don't you tell him your story about how you became addicted? Besides, why do you, wanting to quit gambling completely, still watch others gamble? I think you are being disingenuous in your desire to stop gambling. I can't force anything, but if I were in your place, I would care for my friend's health instead of blaming him for broken promises, obviously made in the heat of the moment.

The truth is that there's every possibility that telling his friend about his past experience in gambling would've still not changed anything. You are saying you're if you were in his shoes, you would still have cared for your friend's health even if after he broke his promise but I think you're saying so because you don't know the level of disappointment that came with seeing watching his friend change his attitude towards him because of the money he won. Different people react differently when betrayed and until you're in their shoes, you can't just say never mate.

mirakal

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Quote from: lovesmayfamilis on December 09, 2024, 05:37:50 AM

If this is your friend, why don't you tell him your story about how you became addicted? Besides, why do you, wanting to quit gambling completely, still watch others gamble? I think you are being disingenuous in your desire to stop gambling. I can't force anything, but if I were in your place, I would care for my friend's health instead of blaming him for broken promises, obviously made in the heat of the moment.

Exactly. Quitting from gambling for good should strictly avoid all exposures that would lead to gambling. But here you are accompanying your friend in a gambling area, which made me think you haven’t actually convinced yourself to leave gambling totally.

However, gamblers have different mindset before and after winning. But whatever it is, we don’t have any right to oblige that person to give us, since he is gambling using his own money, not ours. Sticking or breaking his promise is not our business anymore.

Smartprofit

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Quote from: madnessteat on December 09, 2024, 05:21:05 AM

Quote from: Smartprofit on December 09, 2024, 05:09:33 AM

In my opinion, if you haven't spent your own money, you don't have the right to 10 percent of your friend's winnings. At the same time, you now have a great risk of losing a good relationship with your friend.

Gambling very often puts a person into an altered state of consciousness. A person does not quite adequately react to external stimuli. Your friend's promises, unfortunately, will most likely never be fulfilled, and you do not need to remind him of these promises. It will be much better if you tell him that everything that happened yesterday was a joke.

A good friend is much more valuable than gambling winnings. He must be protected.

If I was trying to quit gambling, I would never take some of the money my friend won. This could lead to the fact that you will not notice how you return to gambling. On the other hand the question arises. Is the guy who won the money really his friend? Maybe he's just an acquaintance who went into hiding to avoid sharing the money.

Very controversial situation, but I would definitely try to forget about such a “friend”, because I am sure that in some difficult situation this friend as always will not be around.

Good friends are rare. At the same time, there are no ideal people. I am calm about the fact that my friend may at some point prefer me to a girl, work or some interesting activity.

I try not to tell my friends - "You betrayed me! You betrayed our friendship!" (Even if the person does things that are not very pleasant to me and that I did not expect from him). I myself am a very imperfect person and do not expect perfection from other people.

In the situation under consideration, this person's friend very rashly promised to give him part of the winnings. Probably, he was emotional when he said this.

At the same time, in my opinion, 10 percent of a large win is too generous a gift to accept. This should be told to a friend.

DubemIfedigbo001

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Quote from: GxSTxV on December 08, 2024, 07:14:58 AM

The match ended with a win and we were both happy. Personally, I wasn't concerned about receiving any money from him as I was more focused on my recovery to not set a bet or deposit ever again. However, the next day my friend avoided me and didn't follow through on his promise even though I wouldn’t have minded if he didn’t.

What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win. The thrill of success often leaves us wanting more and in this case it seemed like my friend was caught in that cycle, as I was feeling before too and he was unable to honor his word probably because he wanted to keep increasing his gains and bet more. It's a reminder that the brain is never truly satisfied when gambling, there's always the desire for more. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?

You've not seen nothing yet. What is that saying again that money brings out the true colour of people. It's valid here. Your friend is just that way, needing both your physical and emotional support when he was vulnerable, but when he achieved his aim, feels your importance is over, you're good for the process and not the dividend.

It's a very wrong mindset if it's intentional and it advertised him as both greedy and stingy. He's not a good team player, for me his behavior explains more of his personality than just avoiding to live up to his promises.

Jawhead999

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I don't understand why many people said to avoid confronting about the 10% share and he will give it if he want. Like what?! not all people have a same character like us, we might have a good memory and we aware with every words out from our mouths, but all people are like that.

I have a friend who can easily forget with something, if you tell something today, he will forget tomorrow. Hence, there's nothing wrong to ask if they haven't give it.

Remember, communication is the most important, don't just cut off and claim someone is bad.

Marykeller

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Someone who avoided you because he doesn't want to give some part of the money won from gambling as promised, you still think about advising him on gambling is the best way, he would listen to you. He will still neglect your advice if you don't know. Because his mind is never to come closer to you. He will be avoiding you the best as he can, with the mindset that you want him to redeem his promises to you, while in the real sense, you are not concerned about that, but for him to utilize the money won from gambling well than betting more with the same money won from gambling

aioc

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Quote from: GxSTxV on December 08, 2024, 07:14:58 AM

.. is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?

Friends should keep their promises and should be honest with one another; you should talk to him and ask him if he is really serious in giving your shares and if you are ok if he prefers not to, then tell him directly that its ok.
There's more to friendship than gambling; its better not to break your bond with money; both of you will eventually have a good laugh after all these things.

Koadharber

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Quote from: TopTort777 on December 09, 2024, 05:16:34 AM

"Never count other persons money", I have been hearing that many times in my life. I wont be making big drama from that situation. What if your friends got into troubles and spend all his money. Right now he is busy finding a solution, and you think only about those 10% from his win. Without seeing whole situation from different perspectives, knowing all the info, people should not make quick decisions about questions were money are involved. I would say that it is best to rely only on own money and on ourselves, but leave others are a very far back-up plan.

We do know that once people will really be on such situation on which they are really that on a state on where they are on extreme joy or boost up then they will really be having those kind of promises on whoever that they are with at that moment. On the time that extreme joy or happiness on that time subside then this is the moment that they have realized that they have promised someone on having those kind of sharing on which they will really be that realizing that it isnt really just that right that they have made out such verbal agreement about a part of his winning but actually they will really be having that regret in the end.
Good thing that he's really that not wanting to get the money that been promised on which this is something that not all will really be behaving because majority will really sue him out. Cheesy

lovesmayfamilis

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✿♥‿♥✿

If this is your friend, why don't you tell him your story about how you became addicted? Besides, why do you, wanting to quit gambling completely, still watch others gamble? I think you are being disingenuous in your desire to stop gambling. I can't force anything, but if I were in your place, I would care for my friend's health instead of blaming him for broken promises, obviously made in the heat of the moment.

Nheer

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Quote from: GxSTxV on December 08, 2024, 07:14:58 AM

I have shared with the community before how I stopped gambling and am currently healing from that addiction. However, recently I had an interesting experience with a friend who was just getting started with sports betting (football). He placed small bets on several football matches, and to his excitement he won 10 out of 11 in a combined bet. He was excited and waiting the final match, knowing it would bring him a huge gain. I supported him telling him he would win and he even promised to give me 10% of his earnings if he won that combined bet with around @1400 odds in total.

The match ended with a win and we were both happy. Personally, I wasn't concerned about receiving any money from him as I was more focused on my recovery to not set a bet or deposit ever again. However, the next day my friend avoided me and didn't follow through on his promise even though I wouldn’t have minded if he didn’t.

What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win. The thrill of success often leaves us wanting more and in this case it seemed like my friend was caught in that cycle, as I was feeling before too and he was unable to honor his word probably because he wanted to keep increasing his gains and bet more. It's a reminder that the brain is never truly satisfied when gambling, there's always the desire for more. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?

This mentality doesn’t apply to gamblers alone but sadly this is just human nature when it comes to money. Money has destroyed a lot of friendships, we don’t have same mentality though but a lot of people cannot be trusted when there is money involved and just as the saying goes “Money doesn’t Change people money Reveal people”. This has been the true nature of your friend but you didn’t know probably because he doesn’t have money but after winning a bet his true self was revealed.

It could be that his reason was not to increase his bet but rather he felt he has more need for the money and giving you a certain amount will affect him that means he doesn’t really value you that much and puts himself first without considering how you will feel.

Gambling is very addictive thats why we are advised to gamble responsibly because every win gets into the head and as we try to pursue more wins we get addicted and lose money instead.

madnessteat

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Quote from: Smartprofit on December 09, 2024, 05:09:33 AM

In my opinion, if you haven't spent your own money, you don't have the right to 10 percent of your friend's winnings. At the same time, you now have a great risk of losing a good relationship with your friend.

Gambling very often puts a person into an altered state of consciousness. A person does not quite adequately react to external stimuli. Your friend's promises, unfortunately, will most likely never be fulfilled, and you do not need to remind him of these promises. It will be much better if you tell him that everything that happened yesterday was a joke.

A good friend is much more valuable than gambling winnings. He must be protected.

If I was trying to quit gambling, I would never take some of the money my friend won. This could lead to the fact that you will not notice how you return to gambling. On the other hand the question arises. Is the guy who won the money really his friend? Maybe he's just an acquaintance who went into hiding to avoid sharing the money.

Very controversial situation, but I would definitely try to forget about such a “friend”, because I am sure that in some difficult situation this friend as always will not be around.

TopTort777

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"Never count other persons money", I have been hearing that many times in my life. I wont be making big drama from that situation. What if your friends got into troubles and spend all his money. Right now he is busy finding a solution, and you think only about those 10% from his win. Without seeing whole situation from different perspectives, knowing all the info, people should not make quick decisions about questions were money are involved. I would say that it is best to rely only on own money and on ourselves, but leave others are a very far back-up plan.

Smartprofit

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In my opinion, if you haven't spent your own money, you don't have the right to 10 percent of your friend's winnings. At the same time, you now have a great risk of losing a good relationship with your friend.

Gambling very often puts a person into an altered state of consciousness. A person does not quite adequately react to external stimuli. Your friend's promises, unfortunately, will most likely never be fulfilled, and you do not need to remind him of these promises. It will be much better if you tell him that everything that happened yesterday was a joke.

A good friend is much more valuable than gambling winnings. He must be protected.

sompitonov

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Of course, you don't need to ask him for this money. He himself should understand and voluntarily give it to you so that you both are happy. But if he didn't do it, then it's terrible, his greed turned out to be higher than the sky. I know what I'm talking about, because something similar happened to me and my friend simply didn't give me part of the money, although he promised to do it before. Many years have passed, but I still continue to communicate with him and he is doing well, but most importantly, I will never forget it. Those who do not keep their promises are empty talkers, you can never do serious business with such people. Just have fun and nothing more.

bakasabo

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Quote from: Julien_Olynpic on December 08, 2024, 09:44:45 PM

We should not take some promises seriously, because they were given in a special emotional state. And demanding the fulfillment of such hasty emotional promises, in my opinion, is not very nice. It is best to forget this promise and never remind your friend about it if the author wants to maintain the friendship. I think that the author of the start-post has not yet completely given up on the idea of earning money on bets and has not completely recovered from the addiction. Otherwise, he would not care who wins and how much. The most important thing is not to feel envy and not to lay claim to a part of someone else's success.

Agree on that. I think that we must learn to tell when a promise sounds real, or it was just a phrase dropped in between, a sentence that said without a real meaning or quickly said to get a result (for example to calm down someone who is bothering). For OP, I would suggest to let it go. If his friends remembers about his promise, then it is OK and one day he will fulfil it. If not, it will be on his conscience. I would not focus much on that. I suppose that wasnt a promise that was confirmed by a hands shake, but just some words dropped between discussion or conversation.

danherbias07

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Gamblers will be gamblers.

I would suggest not mentioning the win and the part where he promised to give you 10 percent of the winnings. It's better if you could tell him to just be careful about spending the profits that he made. Try to calm him down. I think you also know this sensation back when you are gambling, when you are in that moment you are so hyped up that you cannot think clearly and you want to try again because you already tasted the success. Next to it will be larger bets with the thought of repeating the same win.
He will probably not listen and tell you that you are jealous of what you achieved but we know better and I'd probably not mind that kind of statement. As an experienced gambler, we should just understand their overjoyed moment.

Cryptmuster

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Friends are able to resolve any situation so that no one feels offended, if this is not the case, then the understanding between you is not as strong as a true friendship would require. You do not need to consider someone's money as yours, in any case, it is the other person's decision, if he considers it right, he will do it, if not, then just forget about it, this will definitely only benefit the friendship, if you demand a share of the winnings, then you will only ruin the relationship and still not get anything, or you will get it but lose a friend.

Jewan420

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Patience and hard work are the keys to success.

Gambling is not involved in such an incident. Here I want to blame your friend's greed. When a person is emotional, in danger or in joy, it becomes very easy for him to make a promise. But, when that historic moment has passed, he starts to back out of his promise. Sometimes he breaks the promise on his own, and sometimes a third party advises or forces him to back out of the promise. Such an incident has happened to me several times. One of them is worth mentioning -

Some money of a close friend of mine was stuck in a certain place for several years, which he could not recover despite many attempts. When I became capable of recovering his money and promised to recover it, he promised to give me a certain amount of money, which is my remuneration. When I recovered his money, after some time he tried to back out of his promise. After many attempts to break his promise, he failed to break his promise with me. But he refused to pay me the full amount he had promised. Then I am satisfied with the money he gave me.

The purpose of telling this story is that although it is easy for some people to make promises, they fail to fulfill their promises or deny the promises they made. The biggest reason behind this is human greed.

viljy

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So it is hardly worth continuing communication with such an unreliable person. His promise is worthless. And it's not about the money, but the fact that you can't rely on him. And it wasn't his mentality that changed, he was like that. This situation allowed you to see the real him. Let's say another time you find yourself in a situation where you urgently need help. Your friend will promise to help and cheat. Therefore, something irreversible will happen. It is a big risk to have such people in your environment.

Topic: Mentality of Gamblers Before and After Winning - page 6. (Read 1639 times)