Topic: Mentality of Gamblers Before and After Winning - page 6. (Read 1875 times)

I have shared with the community before how I stopped gambling and am currently healing from that addiction. However, recently I had an interesting experience with a friend who was just getting started with sports betting (football). He placed small bets on several football matches, and to his excitement he won 10 out of 11 in a combined bet. He was excited and waiting the final match, knowing it would bring him a huge gain. I supported him telling him he would win and he even promised to give me 10% of his earnings if he won that combined bet with around @1400 odds in total.

The match ended with a win and we were both happy. Personally, I wasn't concerned about receiving any money from him as I was more focused on my recovery to not set a bet or deposit ever again. However, the next day my friend avoided me and didn't follow through on his promise even though I wouldn’t have minded if he didn’t.

What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win. The thrill of success often leaves us wanting more and in this case it seemed like my friend was caught in that cycle, as I was feeling before too and he was unable to honor his word probably because he wanted to keep increasing his gains and bet more. It's a reminder that the brain is never truly satisfied when gambling, there's always the desire for more. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?

If I was trying to quit gambling, I would never take some of the money my friend won. This could lead to the fact that you will not notice how you return to gambling. On the other hand the question arises. Is the guy who won the money really his friend? Maybe he's just an acquaintance who went into hiding to avoid sharing the money.

Very controversial situation, but I would definitely try to forget about such a “friend”, because I am sure that in some difficult situation this friend as always will not be around.

I have shared with the community before how I stopped gambling and am currently healing from that addiction. However, recently I had an interesting experience with a friend who was just getting started with sports betting (football). He placed small bets on several football matches, and to his excitement he won 10 out of 11 in a combined bet. He was excited and waiting the final match, knowing it would bring him a huge gain. I supported him telling him he would win and he even promised to give me 10% of his earnings if he won that combined bet with around @1400 odds in total.

The match ended with a win and we were both happy. Personally, I wasn't concerned about receiving any money from him as I was more focused on my recovery to not set a bet or deposit ever again. However, the next day my friend avoided me and didn't follow through on his promise even though I wouldn’t have minded if he didn’t.

What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win. The thrill of success often leaves us wanting more and in this case it seemed like my friend was caught in that cycle, as I was feeling before too and he was unable to honor his word probably because he wanted to keep increasing his gains and bet more. It's a reminder that the brain is never truly satisfied when gambling, there's always the desire for more. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?

There is nothing you need to do to talk to him just keep quiet and see if he will keep his promise and it should go without saying, if he has the mind and considers you as his friend he will give what has been promised before. Indeed sometimes victory can make someone forget and they act greedy to enjoy their own victory without thinking about his words clearly he cannot be trusted in anything as a friend you just act know enough and do not have to deal with a friend who has such a nature.

Exactly. Quitting from gambling for good should strictly avoid all exposures that would lead to gambling. But here you are accompanying your friend in a gambling area, which made me think you haven’t actually convinced yourself to leave gambling totally.

However, gamblers have different mindset before and after winning. But whatever it is, we don’t have any right to oblige that person to give us, since he is gambling using his own money, not ours. Sticking or breaking his promise is not our business anymore.

What I see, OP, is that your friend might just be trying to avoid being influenced by you or pulling you back into gambling since you’re already moving away from it. Of course, I understand your sentiment, as you are just trying to help your friend avoid going through what you did. But in my opinion, he chose to go through this experience himself, maybe to understand it firsthand. Honestly, he probably became doubtful after winning, but if I were his friend, I’d let him be and let him decide his own course. 
Anyway, We have to accept the reality that situations like this happen and understand that not all our friends keep their promises. The feeling of betrayed is hurt, but at the end of the day, we have no choice but to accept it.

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I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?

^Sometimes even after winning we want to increase our profit  which often leads to losses. It's also hard to accept losses, so they try to recover but it only results in even bigger losses.

I think we all feel the same way when we find ourselves in that kind of situation, especially when we really need money. What makes the situation worse is greed. You’ll only realize you’ve become a gambling addict when it’s already too much, to the point where it’s out of control.

I do agree on this one on which its better not to expect too much when it comes into this matter on which if ever someone do make out some promises on the moment that they are winning up something then it will really be better that you shouldn't really be taking up seriously because those are just words that made out due to that excitement on which later on it will really be that changing up on the moment that they have already settled down when it comes into that emotion surge on which just like with others been saying that we do usually having this kind of reaction on the moment that we are really that happy. Its better not to make yourself that being hopeful on some amounts and if OP isnt really that minding about that share then its pretty good that he's not really that after for the money.

If he do really wanted to make out some explanation into his friend then he might really be that starting to show himself. For sure he's really that hiding because he dont really want up to give on the amount that he promised on. We do know that those words do came out from his mouth due to that impulse feeling or extreme joy on which we do know that it shouldnt really be taken up seriously because it is really just that been the result of it. Money isnt everything and if you do value your friendship with him then better explain out.

Someone who avoided you because he doesn't want to give some part of the money won from gambling as promised, you still think about advising him on gambling is the best way, he would listen to you. He will still neglect your advice if you don't know. Because his mind is never to come closer to you. He will be avoiding you the best as he can, with the mindset that you want him to redeem his promises to you, while in the real sense, you are not concerned about that, but for him to utilize the money won from gambling well than betting more with the same money won from gambling

Most of us do but when someone forgets about their promises to us, they're not obliged actually to give what they've said. I don't take promises seriously if the person is too happy.

They're just moved by their emotions and happiness and I understand that. They don't have to even say sorry to me if they can't deliver their promises.

Well, that's just me and I know that many of you here are taking seriously these promises from other friends and co-gamblers.

True indeed. Even not in gambling, there are still a lot of people who often do promises out of their overwhelming feeling, but after a day or two, those promises were not even remembered then.

But in gambling, I know most the gamblers remember their word, and really make efforts to honor their promise. Be it big or small win, as long as there’s profits, those gamblers will really make it up to those they have made promises.

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What I took away from this experience is how the mentality of gamblers can change after a win. The thrill of success often leaves us wanting more and in this case it seemed like my friend was caught in that cycle, as I was feeling before too and he was unable to honor his word probably because he wanted to keep increasing his gains and bet more. It's a reminder that the brain is never truly satisfied when gambling, there's always the desire for more. I believe that friend deserves an advice, but I don’t want to embarrass him myself, is there a good way to talk to him without making him feel that Im indirectly asking him for the money he promised me?

If this is your friend, why don't you tell him your story about how you became addicted? Besides, why do you, wanting to quit gambling completely, still watch others gamble? I think you are being disingenuous in your desire to stop gambling. I can't force anything, but if I were in your place, I would care for my friend's health instead of blaming him for broken promises, obviously made in the heat of the moment.

If this is your friend, why don't you tell him your story about how you became addicted? Besides, why do you, wanting to quit gambling completely, still watch others gamble? I think you are being disingenuous in your desire to stop gambling. I can't force anything, but if I were in your place, I would care for my friend's health instead of blaming him for broken promises, obviously made in the heat of the moment.

If I was trying to quit gambling, I would never take some of the money my friend won. This could lead to the fact that you will not notice how you return to gambling. On the other hand the question arises. Is the guy who won the money really his friend? Maybe he's just an acquaintance who went into hiding to avoid sharing the money.

Very controversial situation, but I would definitely try to forget about such a “friend”, because I am sure that in some difficult situation this friend as always will not be around.