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Topic: Tell us a joke.... - page 15. (Read 35088 times)

legendary
Activity: 1050
Merit: 1000
July 02, 2015, 04:21:50 AM
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman are sitting in a bar in New York reminiscing about home.

"Back in me pub in Glasgow," brags the Scotsman, "fer every four pints of stout I order, they give me one fer free!"

"In me pub in London," says the Englishman,"I pay fer two pint's o' Guiness and they give me a third one free!"

"That's nuthin'" says the Irishman, "Im my pub back in Dublin, you walk up to the bar, they give the first pint fer free, the second pint fer free, the third pint fer free -- and then they take you upstairs and you have sex for FREE!"

"Is that true?" asks the Scotsman. "Has that really happened to you?"

"Well, no," says the Irishman, "but it happens to me sister all the time!"
hero member
Activity: 720
Merit: 500
July 02, 2015, 04:10:13 AM

I know 10 facts about you:
Fact 1: You are reading this.
Fact 2: You can't say the letter 'm' without touching your lips.
Fact 3: You just tried it.
Fact 4: You're smiling.
Fact 6: You're smiling or laughing again.
Fact 7: You didn't notice I missed fact 5.
Fact 8: You just checked it.
Fact 9: You're smiling again.
Fact 10: You like this and you're going to comment ..

Dude, you got nothin' on me! I can tell you exactly what you're thinkin' at this very second. Ready? You were thinkin' at that very second that there is no way in hell I could know what you were thinin'.

Lolx .. it was just an joke.. one who read it will full concentration will do the things that are in fact common human behavior.. Tongue Tongue Tongue
just chill .. Tongue
vip
Activity: 1428
Merit: 1145
July 01, 2015, 07:03:16 AM
A man walks into a bar.

His alcoholism is destroying his family.

Two men walk into a bar. The second man asked the first man, "Why didn't you tell me to watch where I'm walkin'?"
legendary
Activity: 1652
Merit: 1067
Christian Antkow
July 01, 2015, 06:35:07 AM
A man walks into a bar.

His alcoholism is destroying his family.
vip
Activity: 1428
Merit: 1145
July 01, 2015, 06:29:53 AM

I know 10 facts about you:
Fact 1: You are reading this.
Fact 2: You can't say the letter 'm' without touching your lips.
Fact 3: You just tried it.
Fact 4: You're smiling.
Fact 6: You're smiling or laughing again.
Fact 7: You didn't notice I missed fact 5.
Fact 8: You just checked it.
Fact 9: You're smiling again.
Fact 10: You like this and you're going to comment ..

Dude, you got nothin' on me! I can tell you exactly what you're thinkin' at this very second. Ready? You were thinkin' at that very second that there is no way in hell I could know what you were thinin'.
hero member
Activity: 720
Merit: 500
July 01, 2015, 05:08:02 AM

I know 10 facts about you:
Fact 1: You are reading this.
Fact 2: You can't say the letter 'm' without touching your lips.
Fact 3: You just tried it.
Fact 4: You're smiling.
Fact 6: You're smiling or laughing again.
Fact 7: You didn't notice I missed fact 5.
Fact 8: You just checked it.
Fact 9: You're smiling again.
Fact 10: You like this and you're going to comment ..
full member
Activity: 212
Merit: 101
June 30, 2015, 09:52:40 PM
vip
Activity: 1428
Merit: 1145
June 30, 2015, 06:15:21 PM
Once, there were seven guys in an asylum, but now there are only five due to one escaping and another found lying on the ground outside the grounds dead due to a fall from who-knows-where. The official account is penned directly beneath the missing flashlight write-up.
legendary
Activity: 1792
Merit: 1009
June 30, 2015, 05:51:54 PM
See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!
vip
Activity: 1428
Merit: 1145
June 30, 2015, 12:39:19 PM
Q:  How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs?

A:  He fell.

Reporter: How did Emmit Brown found at the bottom of the lake with 300 pounds of stones chained to his body die?
Coroner: Strangest case of suicide we've even seen in these parts.
legendary
Activity: 1050
Merit: 1000
June 30, 2015, 05:40:34 AM
Q: How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. Why bother? It's just going to burn out anyway.
sr. member
Activity: 326
Merit: 250
June 30, 2015, 05:20:06 AM
A few times to read it, although it did take,
making me chuckle, this joke ended up!  Grin

I laughed quite a bit even though I'm sure I didn't get what I was supposed to.

Best MEME ever Cheesy
Vod
legendary
Activity: 3668
Merit: 3010
Licking my boob since 1970
May 10, 2015, 05:20:24 PM
Q:  How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs?

A:  He fell.
sr. member
Activity: 476
Merit: 500
I like boobies
May 10, 2015, 02:44:44 PM
full member
Activity: 140
Merit: 100
May 10, 2015, 02:27:58 PM
one day, in elementary school, the teacher asking student, how many alphabet they remember

Teacher : harry how many you remember ?
Harry : i remember all,because i want to be a teacher like you  maam
Teacher : good, now annie ?
Annie : i remember the vocal alphabet, because i want to be a choir
Teacher : good,now Jeanice ?
Jeanice : i remember a,u,o,h
Teacher : why?
because i want to be rich, just said ah ah uh uh oh oh, like my mom did

Ahahhah :DD really good joke man Cheesy post more jokes like this one and I will love you. I like that easy to understand jokes-people like can get relaxed from his so high IQ  : Cheesy
legendary
Activity: 1960
Merit: 1010
May 04, 2015, 08:04:15 AM
A few times to read it, although it did take,
making me chuckle, this joke ended up!  Grin

I laughed quite a bit even though I'm sure I didn't get what I was supposed to.

Try again!

jr. member
Activity: 56
Merit: 10
★777Coin.com★ Fun BTC Casino!
May 02, 2015, 03:25:40 AM
one day, in elementary school, the teacher asking student, how many alphabet they remember

Teacher : harry how many you remember ?
Harry : i remember all,because i want to be a teacher like you  maam
Teacher : good, now annie ?
Annie : i remember the vocal alphabet, because i want to be a choir
Teacher : good,now Jeanice ?
Jeanice : i remember a,u,o,h
Teacher : why?
because i want to be rich, just said ah ah uh uh oh oh, like my mom did
hero member
Activity: 1493
Merit: 763
Life is a taxable event
March 31, 2015, 10:23:34 PM
A limerick:


There once was a man from east Kent
Whose tool was so long that it bent
to save her some trouble
he folded it double
and instead of coming he went

legendary
Activity: 1288
Merit: 1007
March 31, 2015, 05:36:22 PM
A few times to read it, although it did take,
making me chuckle, this joke ended up!  Grin

I laughed quite a bit even though I'm sure I didn't get what I was supposed to.
sr. member
Activity: 406
Merit: 250
AltoCenter.com
March 31, 2015, 01:46:26 PM
Konck Knock....

Litecoin: "Who is it?"

{anonymous}: "Satoshi Nakamoto...."

 Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
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