Google the watchmaker argument. Your watchmaker will be more complicated than anything he has created and would require another watchmaker to explain its existence, and so on.
If you follow the watchmaker argument to its logical conclusion you will end up with more questions and no answers. That is why it is useless.
I do understand your psychological infirmity and your need for firm answers, however, I urge you to study how the science is actually done.
You seem to be quite fuzzy on this particular subject.
I am confident that you will be able to understand how science works despite your innate shortcomings and the barrage of indoctrination you have been subjected to since you started to walk on your own.
The flaw in the "anti-God" watchmaker arguments is, all known machines are designed and have makers.
How many man-made machines are there in the world? Loads of them, right? We know that the man-made machines are all man-made. Not one of them is not man-made, right?
Second, all the man-made machines are made from examples from the universe, right? In addition, they all use universe parts to make them work, right?... the raw materials of the earth, which themselves act like machines, right?
Since the machines all come from the same place, the difference is either:
1. Machines are not machines, or;
2. Machines are machines.
There isn't even one example of a man-made machine making itself, or being made by accident without a maker-man. So, even if we don't know who or what made the universe machines, it obviously was something that was exceedingly capable. The capability is such that it fits our dictionary definitions of God.
Why would anyone think that machines make themselves, or come into existence by accident? There is not one example of such happening. But there are tons of examples of machines being made on purpose.
Make all the guesses that you want about where the machines of the universe came from. But don't rule out the most logical choice... God. Of course, when you do rule God out, you have a religion going for yourself, because you are using the least logical idea.
Btw, science works by the choice of the scientist. If he chooses to embrace the least logical, then that's what he embraces, whether it's true or not.