Topic: Will you leave gambling if your future wife/husband tells you to do this ? - page 10. (Read 1900 times)

Lucky for her I am not a gambler because there is no need for her to ask me to leave gambling. But what if I am a gambler and my future wife told me to leave gambling? Well, since my family is my priority I will definitely without a doubt leave gambling. 

Partners need to understand themselves very well but men do have their ego, and if you let that leads you there is a chance you will make a mess out of everything, I don't expect any married person to keep their gambling addiction from their partners because they trust them that's a part why they are married in the first place, so it's smart to rely on someone you trust when you have gambling habit in you because when you are swaying away from been a responsible gambler they will always be there to warn you.

If you are a responsible gambler you will find it easier to erase your partners doubt in you, the them your gambling strategy and they will feel relaxed, I don't expect any woman to feel relax when their husbands are into gambling, because if he get reckless he will bring both himself and his woman down, to avoid bad stories you need to become a responsible gambler.

If fact it's better to stay away from gambling if you can't be a responsible gambler, and do not bother to get married, I have seen some home crumbling because of gambling addict by the husbands, women are very cautious when it comes to gambling and majority I know don't like it at all, when you tell them that you are into gambling immediately they will believe you are not a serious man.

What you say is absolutely correct, and it is proven in everyday life, husband and wife often fight because the monthly pocket money for daily needs is also used for gambling by the husband and this is very inappropriate and urgent action needs to be taken. . so that the husband immediately realizes that if he wants to gamble, he must be able to manage his finances between gambling and the money allocated for his wife's shopping. Apart from that, if the husband can regulate and control himself in gambling, I don't think it will be a problem in the family, the wife will accept and keep quiet if everything is really under control.

Good for you then, your wife seems to be the type that would understand manly things. 
I think we are in the same position and my wife also just lets me gamble because she knows that I am not crossing any line that would ruin my responsibility to them.
There are even times that she would ask how much I bet especially if the team that won is the team that she is rooting for. Golden State Warriors. I'd tell her I didn't bet that much because I am also worried that they might lose and sometimes she gets angry because I didn't make it decent enough to trust the team that she loves the most.
I don't see myself being stopped by my wife too as long as she knows that I can still provide for them and she won't feel that something is missing from our routine and budget anymore.
She doesn't also see me as a gambling addict because I have a lot of time for them and I don't lack when it comes to the housework. I think discipline is what will make them trust us so there's it's necessary to warn us about it.

If gambling is affecting our marriage, I'd do that. There can be other things that can I do that I am enjoying with but before that, I'll ask first for a justification why do I have to do it when it's not affecting our relationship and I know my stand on this one.

I'll show that I can prove that it won't affect anything related to our relationship and finances because that's how we should be responsible as we gamble.

And I won't let it happen that I'll harm my family and sustenance just because of it.

Gambling is an engagement that through which a whole lot of people has successfully changed their fortunes and that's why people are still engaging in it despite the fact that it's rendered so many useless. Playing gambling when you know you are in full control of your emotions and also know when to quit or suspend isn't a bad habit if you ask me.
However, when compared to the wish of my future spouse, I don't think gambling is that too relevant if my future spouse detests gambling and anyone who gambles. When it comes to marriage in the part of the world I come from, it's expected that one has to make some sacrifices including the very difficult ones to keep his/her marriage so I'll simply forfeit anything that has to do with gambling if my future spouse asks me to do so

My future wife/husband ask me to stop my gambling activity? I will leave her/him and continue to gamble lol.

I know what the consequence of my activity, I don't see gambling is harming or bad thing, so there's no reason to leave it if I think it's good for me. Why should stay with someone who trying to stop or limit our activity? there are so many people out there, you just need to find an appropriate wife/husband, not force to stay in relationship with the current person.

If we are yet married and our partner is requesting for that with enough good reasons then we should consider them and try to have a discussion to both agree on the same thing, am sure that for one to have made mention of this request, things wouldn't have been going as expected for them both, the question to also first considers in situations like this is if the partner is gambling responsibly or not.

Perhaps you should see it as more of a request than a threat. Your partner should want what’s best for you and if there’s a request for you to quit gambling, then maybe you should take it into serious consideration.
No one is giving you an ultimatum, it’s more or less a plea from the people who really do love you. Giving in to pleas from family doesn’t make you any less of a person. It simply means you consider their opinions and requests important.
If your partner or members of your family, knowing what they know, asks for you to quit whatever habit you may have, then perhaps it’s best to keep your pride aside and listen to them. They’re your family after all.

        -   Of course, if you really want to marry the person, you will do what he/she wants just so that he/she does not disappear from your life and he/she becomes your husband/wife. So when you're married, you can still gamble, as long as you can balance this habit, and if you can't control something like this, it's better not to gamble.

But as I said, as long as you can control yourself from playing gambling that does not affect your marriage or family life, go ahead and do gambling as a hobby and don't let it lead to addiction. You'll have trouble eventually.

It seems that the main reason a wife tells her husband to stop gambling is because the husband has spent too much money on gambling, especially if the wife's pocket money is also used for gambling, the wife will definitely demand that he stop gambling.

As long as we can manage our finances and meet our family's needs, it is very likely that our wives will remain silent and not tell us to stop.

Yes and I hope that they can immediately realize that this activity can cause a lot of problems for their family including in terms of finances, agree with you, sooner or later it will definitely become a problem even though initially they thought it would be fine, but as we know gambling develops in humans without them realizing it, especially when they have entered the addiction zone, they will continue to play and it is very likely that the allocation of money for basic needs such as food will be used for gambling. Of course it is very dangerous and I can't imagine what will happen to the family, not infrequently we see that lately there are many divorces due to the consequences of gambling which of course makes their economy decline drastically. So yes there is nothing else but to stop, that's the best and if they have realized that this is really bad then hopefully they can consider stopping and reducing all their gambling activities. That's right, some can realize it and some can't at all, so it really depends on them like you said.

Yes as I said above, inevitably if they are married then they must be able to think that there are already big responsibilities that they must focus on in the future, and that means they must be able to reduce their gambling slowly, because I am sure to stop suddenly it is almost impossible especially for those who are already addicted. Therefore, they can start by reducing their activities and divert their attention by adding other activities such as adding jobs to increase income. They should be able to think and take examples from the many cases that have occurred who ended up divorced because of gambling which affected the family economy.

This is a process that can be corrected over time, but I have a problem with this...when you were in courtship didn't you partner not show these habits of gambling because this is your perfect time to pick out the good and bad things you hate and try to correct them, if you had to wait till the ring is on the finger means you are comfortable with the package as is...besides they say bad habits die hard and this gambling issue might be on of them!

Otherwise if gambling hasn't been bringing any profits while you played I guess it's something to consider as a money saver.

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Keyword "responsible", if your gambling habits don't go into your home budget I honestly don't see why this entertainment/money making venture should really be a problem..

A man who love to gamble will be in dilemma because of this question including me but the fact is that my wife is not asking me to do this (at least till now). I do not even see any reason why my wife will do it in the future because she knows 100% how I gamble, how much I gamble, and how responsible am I with this activity. If she sees that I go too much in gambling, she would have reminded me and she might have told me to stop (at least for a while). I will prefer to stop gambling because I want it myself not because of other's suggestion/request including my own family.

Yes, what's more, everyone has their own views, especially for gamblers who don't have a partner, they may play more freely than those who gamble and have a partner. I have a partner who doesn't forbid me from gambling, but if he asks, I will definitely think the same way. with you, namely obeying it, not because we as men are stronger than women, but respecting it as our partner and making it an alarm for us to stay away from bad things.

Luckily I can still gamble to this day even though I only gamble on weekends and even then I entrust my wife to manage all the budget to make it an alarm for me to stop gambling when the money runs out, because I believe in entrusting our partner and being involved in managing finances we will be better, my wife also knows that I gamble just for fun, not for a game that I play seriously. The point is, I will also follow my wife's words if one day she wants me to stop. 

If he doesn't realize that his gambling habit can cause problems for his family's finances, sooner or later, it will happen and become a big problem when he doesn't have the money to meet his living needs. He will find it difficult to do so because his money has been used for gambling until there is nothing left and of course, the problem will not stop there because his wife will ask for his money. But when he realizes that his gambling habit has started to cause problems and he must immediately stop gambling. He can start reducing his gambling habit, he will be able to overcome the problem and in the end, he will realize that meeting the family's needs will be more important than gambling. It will depend on the person because some can't realize it and instead continue gambling until they have no money left.

Changes should occur in someone who is married because, after all, when someone is married, the focus of his life is different from when he was single and he must know that before he gets married. He must be able to abandon his old habits, especially since he and his wife/husband are now one family. If he used to gamble a lot, he can reduce it slowly before he gets married so that after he gets married, he can give up gambling because he has to put his family first. There should be no problem with giving up gambling, especially if he is not addicted to gambling because it just requires a new habit and doing other activities that are not related to gambling.

I will, even if I'm doing well in gambling, leave once my future wife tells me to quit. Not because I'm afraid or under, but because it's an opportunity to stay away from gambling. But this opportunity to quit gambling depends on one's personality. Others might dislike it, as it seems they have been controlling.

You are painting it black and white, but there is more detail to this and it all depends on the circumstances and whether someone is an excessive gambler. I doubt that OP was referring to some wife who wants to stay her husband from playing a weekly Sunday evening poker round for 2-3 hours. If that is the case, it would not be very reasonable from her to stop him doing that if it is not the family savings he is gambling with. But in most cases when a wife feels the need to interfere it is about at least questionable expenditure of time and money that the husband puts into gambling. Comparing this with using make up and driving cars or listening to music doesn't make sense.

I think she wants us to stop gambling and no matter if you gamble for fun, she wants us not to get involved in any gambling. I think in such conditions, we should obey his request and hide your gambling activities. We just need the right time to explain that we are not gambling addicts and never place high stakes in gambling, we only take time for the hobby of gambling for fun, he will definitely accept it as long as you don't leave work and never gamble high stakes. Women don't like gambling of any kind so they worry that you will be wasteful if you are addicted to gambling. If she already knows that you are not addicted to gambling then she will give you limited time to gamble but she demands to check the transaction history on our gambling account.

If there's anything that makes my fiance to ask me to quite gambling, then I know she must have a reason for that. Maybe she notices something in my behavior and she thinks it's caused by gambling. I will ask her some necessary questions, and then her response will determine if I'm going to stop gambling or not. I gamble for fun whenever I am bored or sometime's whenever I am stressed just to calm myself down, so I will explain to her and tell her the amount that I allocate for gambling weekly or monthly. If she thinks the amount is too much, then we will come to an agreement and I will reduce the amount I spend.