Topic: Will you leave gambling if your future wife/husband tells you to do this ? - page 8. (Read 1624 times)

Maybe in their minds gambling is an activity that is not good to do, so they ask you about it. And what they actually think is that gambling will bring a life full of misery, especially if they are addicted, it is very difficult for them to just accept it. And this must be discussed carefully with your partner, if you then continue to gamble, but with the condition that you must be under control when gambling and I don't think that will be a problem in the future.

Yes because its easy to answer that if you are not addicted since you can easily quiet without any hesitation, unlike if you are really in worst situation where you can beat all the odds just to gamble for sure quitting is really a big problem since you would provably not listen to any advice given to you since what you always think is to gamble. We are surely get affected in all aspect with that condition including the relationship to our love ones since denial stage might come up and we always think about we are fine and they should not worry about on what we are doing. At this stage I think we need professional help since for sure a addicted person cannot cut off easily his activity even if her wife ask him to leave gambling and by the help of professionals he can be totally get aided then understand that what he is doing is totally excessive and destructive to any person near him.

If indeed they are still in their addiction and have not been able to stop or just reduce then yes, they will definitely do as you said, when the money runs out or the gambling at that time ends in defeat then they will get emotional and after the impact of emotions then they will look for ways to be able to deposit again even though for example they have run out of money but as we know those who are addicted have many ways and will even justify all means just to be able to gamble. Borrowing from the closest people? yes it is very possible and also sell their valuables. The point is for those who are already addicted, almost all of their mindsets have been dominated by lust and selfish feelings, even though on the other hand other people are the same, I mean anyone can never escape defeat and that is gambling where the system has been set up so that defeat always dominates them. So the only way for you not to get emotional is to become a responsible gambler by accepting all the risks, and you have to apply that mindset from the start.

Well the push of necessity is also very likely to be the reason for them to keep gambling, when they have a family then the needs will increase and they will think of looking for victory in gambling in order to fulfill everything, it's not wrong because the intention is good but I say they are misplaced.

Therefore, maybe you also know that every parent always instills good habits from childhood, such as telling us to start saving and saving, none other than money is also to realize our wishes someday, and it is a very good way of financial management. And it will be very useful when we are adults, whether it's for our own financial management or when we are married. Especially when we are married then as much as possible we should be able to manage our financial allocation by not buying something that is not really needed as I said at the beginning. What is quite concerning is when our finances are below average but there are many responsibilities that we must fulfill, such as those who are married and also on the other hand they are still gambling, honestly I can't imagine how your economy will be there. Difficulties will continue to attack you in that position and even I think you will also be confused to think about what to eat tomorrow, there is probably they will just leave a lot of debt there. So there really is no other way, you better stop doing this harmful activity, it's useless and it will only cause a lot of problems for your own family, I'm sure you can change and get out of gambling.

Fair enough and you are right, you got a point here. But you know that this actually shows how worthless some of these topics are because they lack substance and detail and are phrased as open, limitless questions such that really everyone can post stuff without giving the content even a first thought?

That's why people start comparing gambling with driving a car. "If my wife told me to stop driving the car, I would not stop driving the car. The same way I would not stop gambling."

It almost hurts my brain when there is not the tiniest bit of context, but you are right, really! I expected too much from OP. I thought he must have meant something but in reality I was wrong, he didn't care. He could as well have written "what would you if your wife tells you to stop drinking water" and people here would spam the thread with answers. I got it, my fault.

If you are not addicted to the gambling,this question is not for you.Because the OP had clearly mentioned for the gambling addicted person and their partner relationship impact due the gambling addiction.Since you are not addicted to the gambling,why your wife asked to quit the gambling.Because gambling is not the easy part to quit in the short period,once you start to play the gambling.The wife will ask about the gambling only because of the money involvement in the gambling.My wife had asked me to stop the gambling play,but I had stopped to play in front of my wife.It’s easy way to manage the gambling in your family.

Sure an easy way out especially for the men who are experiencing the midlife crisis with no kid to take care of. When there is no reason for the husband to stick around, it's an easy option. But women only ask this kind of question if they are also sure they can stand on their own and have money to support themselves. A career woman who has lots of savings does not need men who are toxic in a relationship.

And if the gambler's money comes from this career woman, the gambler can already expect to be kicked out.

Wont really be that a problem if you arent that into gambling on which you would really be just that easily be able to deal with if ever your wife soon to be will really be making out such request or saying that you should quit but they wont really be saying things unless you have done it on which it is really just totally that have sense. lol. If we do put up on some assumptions that we are really that indeed doing gambling and they would really be asking about quitting or stopping then it would boil down in your own choice whether you would really be that quitting for your good or really love that still continue and would put up the risks on the relationship that you are into. Some could really just do and some cant really just take up the risks.

Some people might not really that much that letting other people do really involved on what are the things that they are doing but
there are ones who would really be doing everything for love and would really be sacrificing anything or losing everything for it.
It does really actually depend.

In my case I am not that kind of people who were addicted with gambling. I do gambling in some times for the entertainment purpose. So in my case it would be that my wife is more important to me than gambling.  I will ask her why she is asking to stop this gambling. Then if her words seem logical to me, then I will not increase my words and if it does not seem logical, I will make some arguments. And even If she still say to stop playing it, then I'll stop it, I mean try to stop it. 
Like many, I will also say that why would he or she tell you to stop gambling?  It will mostly be the case of those who are more addicted to gambling and it is causing their financial crisis and family problems. Even then if there is no such reason if he or she say to stop you this, then I think it's better to let it go because gambling is not bigger than family.

In the first place, why did they ask it to do so?

Might they see us showing irresponsible, crappy attitudes or unusual behavior? In that case, they are just right to ask that and we have no right to even complain since they are just concerned and it will be for our own benefit. Actually, no need for them to ask that but just stop on our own.

It's all about respect and if only we are not showing a bad attitude, I don't think they will ask that question in the first place.

In many cases, gambling destroys a person's marriage, especially if gambling has become an addiction and can no longer be controlled. If this is the case, it's better to listen to advice from your partner because it is your partner who understands our situation.


Negligence and unprofessionalism will be a disaster, this is not only for married people. Even if you're not married, if you gamble without proper analysis and don't manage your finances then this will be a problem in the future with our finances.
Regarding the OP's question. I gambled in secret from my wife, only I knew.

You would not stop because you are not addicted to gambling and in such cases, the wives and other family members won't even ask to quit us, because our gambling is not hurting them.

The problem arises when you gamble in excess and become addicted to it. The problem arises when you start to use up the money which was supposed to be spent in the house to meet the expenses. The problem arises when you start spending more time gambling and avoiding your family, and this is where you become addicted to gambling.

So, in the former case, where you are not addicted, you are free to exercise your right to gamble but in the latter case, if you insist on gambling, that may result in some serious consequences, may result in the end of the relationships too.

I agree that any gambling tool does not affect gambling behavior in the gambler in managing finances, such as taking loans, time and things, whether using crypto or fiat it is the same if the gambler has a bad nature in him such as impulsive and compulsive behavior in doing something , it will end in something worse.

With the meaning that when we a prospective husband has wise characteristics and is good at managing finances as well as all forms of action we take on gambling is not excessive, after we explain to him, I think a wife will understand and will not force the desire of her husband to keep stopping gambled, Even though they ask us to stop gambling.

When OP asked for opinions I had to somehow imagine this happening, and since I'm not an addict, I used an example of a normal relationship where the man gambles from time to time and the woman demands that he stopped. That's it.
If you feel it doesn't make sense, it's fine, but to me it does make a lot of sense, since OP did not give any specific background and did not explain the situation that the man is in.
Id OP doesn't want us to give our own opinions based on our personal situation why would he start a topic like that?

Bottom line, the answer is that I wouldn't stop because I find the request illogical.

I mean if you are looking for an easy way to leave your significant other than I guess yeah this isn't a bad way lol.  Seriously though I've seen it happen where gambling has gotten the best of people and they've lost someone to it.  If not handled right gambling can be like any other addiction.

I don't think that a person's survival can depend on gambling knowing that gambling can't be a constant source of income for anyone as there is no guarantee that you will win every day from gambling. However, taking it theoretically, I don't understand why a spouse would ask their partner to stop gambling if they know that it's their only way of earning money knowing that it will be a problem for them since they won't have anything to eat after that.

It basically depends on the effect gambling is having on one's life. If I'm gambling but it isn't having any negative effects on me and my personal life, I have an income, I have a fixed budget out of that for my gambling, and I don't even spend a lot of time on it, so I don't see why one would have a problem with my gambling activities. However, if it's the opposite of whatever I said, it's definitely understandable if I'm asked by my partner to stop gambling and I would do it, for sure.

Good, it seems you are wise gambler.
But when you really like gambling even if it just for entertainment and fun are you sure you can consider the advice to stop?
Maybe you will still gamble but in secret so that no one knows about it.
I know very well how gambler acts and responds to such problems so that there is only small percentage who can consider it and choose to stop leaving forever from the world of gambling.

But if you decide to stop for the sake of your family or for the sake of the people you love then that is wise decision.
I hope that the gambling you do does not have a significant negative impact on the people around you or you love.

If you are in married life you have to think about your wife and do something good if you do not have control over gambling then many times the relationship is ruined. Most of the time is passed by gambling or thinking about gambling ready to make big bets day in and day out. They don't even remember the losses or losses many people gamble to cover up personal problems helplessness and even depression. Negligence comes to family or professional work so if it can be controlled there is no effect on the family.

When the money runs out, he doesn't immediately leave the casino. Still, he will think about depositing another amount of money into his gambling account to be able to continue gambling. This often happens to many gamblers because they still want to win and recover previous losses. When they do not realize that their family is more important than gambling, they only spend their family's money on gambling without considering meeting their daily needs. That's because they can't abandon their gambling and think they can win so that they will fulfill their family's daily needs with their winnings. But what happened was different from what he wanted.

Financial management is something that must be done by both married and unmarried people so that they can fulfill their daily needs. If he only uses his money for gambling without any allocation for other things, he will have difficulty meeting his daily needs and this will make him borrow other people's money to buy his living necessities. Having a budget for gambling and other things will help us to survive and meet our living needs so that we will not borrow money from other people because other people also need money to survive. And if the husband/wife says to leave gambling for the sake of their family later, it is better for them to really leave gambling because otherwise, their family life might be disturbed. They will not be able to meet their daily needs because all their money is used for gambling.

Of course because there is no other way but to stop doing it or slowly reduce the activity, not to mention it is also for their own good and also for their family. Although they may argue that they will gamble with all control or self-restriction, it will not always be like that, the flow of gambling runs under the human consciousness so it is very possible that they will unconsciously enter into addiction and will always say "This time I will definitely win", they always hope - and even though there is absolutely no certainty and even the chances are very small. And obviously if they have entered the zone like that then maybe they will not think about their family including the basic needs for their family. Indeed there may be some of the gamblers who can withstand all the temptations that are there with strong self-control, but I say the chances are very small to be able to do that, as we know how the temptation in gambling until - until you can forget everything in your life gambling has distracted you. So the bottom line for those who are still gambling or even addicted is better from now on to reduce it and for those who never gamble at all I hope you can stay in that position by not being tempted by gambling at all, that's better.


That's right, when they are married or married then what they have to prepare at the beginning is good management in terms of finances, because of course their expenses will be greater than usual when they are still supporting life for themselves, and now there are two lives they have to feed, you and your wife and also maybe some of your children later. As much as possible, we should minimize our spending and not buy anything that we don't need. So if in such conditions for example you are still gambling then instead of saving the budget but you are busy by continuing to allocate money to gambling. Believe me there will be many problems that come especially in terms of finance, if indeed you have more money then it is better to save for other needs in the future.

You already know the answer because in every countries gambling have ruined some peoples lives, so it's normal for your wife to be scared of losing all to gambling, remember, you are both in this together, so maybe you are over doing it? And they noticed?

My advice is to listen to your partner if they warn you about gambling or if they are trying to make you stop gambling, it's possible that they noticed you are too into gambling.

I used to tell people that some things are better done before getting married, setting your goals up and taking risks are way easier when you are living alone, I wouldn't have get married if I am not capable, there is time for everything and if you know where you are going things will always work in your favour, it starts with you.