Topic: Will you leave gambling if your future wife/husband tells you to do this ? - page 11. (Read 1637 times)

You are painting it black and white, but there is more detail to this and it all depends on the circumstances and whether someone is an excessive gambler. I doubt that OP was referring to some wife who wants to stay her husband from playing a weekly Sunday evening poker round for 2-3 hours. If that is the case, it would not be very reasonable from her to stop him doing that if it is not the family savings he is gambling with. But in most cases when a wife feels the need to interfere it is about at least questionable expenditure of time and money that the husband puts into gambling. Comparing this with using make up and driving cars or listening to music doesn't make sense.

I think she wants us to stop gambling and no matter if you gamble for fun, she wants us not to get involved in any gambling. I think in such conditions, we should obey his request and hide your gambling activities. We just need the right time to explain that we are not gambling addicts and never place high stakes in gambling, we only take time for the hobby of gambling for fun, he will definitely accept it as long as you don't leave work and never gamble high stakes. Women don't like gambling of any kind so they worry that you will be wasteful if you are addicted to gambling. If she already knows that you are not addicted to gambling then she will give you limited time to gamble but she demands to check the transaction history on our gambling account.

If there's anything that makes my fiance to ask me to quite gambling, then I know she must have a reason for that. Maybe she notices something in my behavior and she thinks it's caused by gambling. I will ask her some necessary questions, and then her response will determine if I'm going to stop gambling or not. I gamble for fun whenever I am bored or sometime's whenever I am stressed just to calm myself down, so I will explain to her and tell her the amount that I allocate for gambling weekly or monthly. If she thinks the amount is too much, then we will come to an agreement and I will reduce the amount I spend.

I won't.

The deal is, I don't ask my future wife to stop going to work, using makeup, driving cars, listening to music... Why would she ask me to stop gambling. It's not like I interfere with her hobbies.
If gambling ever interferes with our relationship, makes me poor, makes me sad, makes me late to meetings, lose a job, I'll gladly stop.
I try to make all my requests and demands to be logical. If she can logically explain why she wants me to do it, maybe I'll agree.

Unless the affection is not deep between the both of you, this is never enough reason to cause break up the relationship. Gambling is what we do to have fun and keep us entertained and of course we pay price for it which we either lose or gain in the end. A loving partner should understand this and they won't be happy to deprive you of your source of happiness if they truly love you. The only way I can agree to this is only when my gambling is out of control and causing problem to my life. In such situation, I might listen to her and consider reducing it but aside that, I will not allow my wife to dictate for me on what to do and what to leave let alone my future partner who your future together is not yet certain. The rest room reason why I don't like to succumb to such ideas is to maintain and protect the patriarchy.

Every person has an opinion in every situation, and I respect your belief that you won't let their words define you. However, if you accept what they are saying, they will use your words against you in the future, and you won't be able to defend yourself.

Since she is my life partner and we would be living together, I will first ask her why she thinks I should stop gambling. If she can persuade me to stop, I will try to use that as justification. There are a lot of broken marriages in this type of situation. What about individuals who bet for enjoyment? I doubt that they will be persuaded to quit. The only way for her to find out that you gamble is if you consistently visits casinos; this will lead people to assume that you are a gambler.

I think that we had a similar thread in the past, but I'll answer since these threads are interesting.
Yes, I would do it. I already have a wife, so if she'd ask me to stop gambling, I'd probably do it. There's also a question of why and how she'd ask for it. Each of us are in a different situation. If I was winning a lot of money and had a decent record and she demanded I stop gambling because she want's that, period, I don't think that I would, because it's just dumb. She'd need to give me a valid reason' like her parents will not agree to us getting married if I'm a gambler, or something like that.

I agree with you, you don't need to sacrifice your relationship when it comes to gambling because we know that gambling is a temporary happiness. It's not worth it. If your life partner doesn't like gambling, you should let it go as early as possible so you don't get too addicted to it.
And I know that when it comes to that, it can be discussed properly because your wife has a reason why she forbids you to gamble.

I know rights. It's more perplexing that many here are saying they can't sacrifice gambling for love but we know how and what happened behind the scene with love and how weak people become to change what they do because of love. As hard as it may seems been a red pill man that don't yield to the demand of a woman, there are some things you do just for peace to prevail, there are sacrifice you make for your wife not because they are right about their choice but because you choosed peace over drama, imagine your marriage is about to crash because your wife want you to stop gambling, it doesn't make sense if husband ignore her and prefer been stubborn.

At my first reply to OP, I was saying that I can quit because someone want me to quit but I bring marriage into the scenario and then had a rethink that at the end everyone are going to drop their 1 cents and opinions but we know better what they are going to do at the end. They will prefer to be in peace and harmony with their partner than to stay single because their partner want them to stop gambling.

Your story is good because it shows that women will always want you to save for the family. The last part of your story means women will only gamble with you when you are making profit but if you are not they will advise you to stop and if you refuse to stop it means you have used your hand to fetch firewood that is infested by ants. You won't have peace in that house.

If a woman that likes to gamble or that doesn't see anything wrong in gambling meets a man that gambles, she will condone it but a woman who doesn't like to stay with a man that gambles will avoid the man and if he eventually notice such hidden habit in the man she will do everything to discourage it.

Everyone wants to have an understanding wife. Whether it is with gambling or something else. My wife was very understanding and she isn't angry or bad on me just because I gamble. I used to gamble along with her. But this didn't last for long, because of the losses I encountered. I was in serious debt and little by little we earned and kept money to settle the debts. With her permission used the saved money for gambling and multiplied it a little. She was happy and at some point I went out of control and lost everything. The debt continued, then onwards she never let me gamble. Even she asked me to promise not to gamble again.

Men are just trying to make their wives think they are in control of their husbands' life but in the end, it's always men. They are just lucky because men also love the kids and don't want to compromise the kid's future. Husbands will say yes, he'd forget gambling but the husbands will get smarter every time and will just do it while the waves are not around.

I don't think people will change after getting married. Beleive it or not, you are still you since the time when you are a teen, you don't even feel a different you after 30 years.

It will take an understanding partner to understand that you plan to leave gambling slowly. Otherwise, most partners will like you to leave it instantly as per their demand. One of my friends denied the request that he will not leav gambling and it resulted in lot of fights initially. However, with time , she also understood that he is not risking a lot of money in this and they are a happy couple now. He still gambles sometimes but the frequency is reduced in comparison to earlier times because of marital responsibilities.

True, especially for those who are married, when they hide their gambling then I'm sure there will be a lot of financial problems that occur there and it will accelerate them to be caught by their children and wife, how not because surely the income from the husband to his wife for kitchen needs will decrease and his wife will question because it's usually not like that. Yes it depends on the person too, if they are always closed in any case then surely in gambling he will not tell anyone even if it is to his own wife or husband, even though it is their habit to always live closed but for problems like gambling I think they should consider it, because obviously in terms of risk is very large for finances, as you said especially if they are married. Quite concerned and indeed the only way is just to be honest with his husband or wife, I'm sure they won't be too angry as long as you want to be honest, they will understand and I think they will definitely help you to get out of that zone.

That's not quite right, and I think maybe it's more appropriate that when you are married then you have to reduce the activities of your habits when you are young because as you said, there is already something they have to focus on in their lives. Basically it's true, there is no other way or alternative that they should do except stop from their gambling activities, because it will only cause a lot of new problems, it doesn't matter if your finances are very good because maybe you can still support your living expenses but the problem is when you live mediocre but still gambling. So it's better to just stop to minimize things that are not wanted such as financial problems for example.

If he is married and still gambles by hiding his activities, he will encounter difficulties because he may have gone too far in his gambling. Maybe he won't discuss his gambling activities with his wife or husband because it's a part of his past that he's still working on. He just doesn't like it when people, even if it is his wife or husband, want to know many things from him. But he should be able to realize that if they are married, they are trying to balance their life when they were alone, now that they have a life partner. This requires honesty and courage to admit that he is still gambling even though he can control himself.

Yes, getting married will take away your personal activities because there is already something to focus on in your life, an even more important focus. And it is true that he should be able to decide to stop gambling because that will be better, especially for his family's finances later. And that is also to keep his family away from his problems.

Most likely the answer to this is a no, but this is not because I am so into gambling that I cannot help but to keep doing so despite the protests of my family members, the reason behind this is that I do not like to accept such ultimatums in a relationship, because once you give in and accept to do anything because you were threatened then your partner will keep using this against you, so the only way to deal with this is to never accept such threats even when it comes to something as inconsequential as my gambling.

This basically tests someone's relationship. If you are gambling so much that your spouse tells you to stop and yo udo not, that is not testament on your addiction, that is testament on how you do not love the person you are with enough. This isn't like eating or drinking or anything fun, this is gambling, it's addiction, it's a bad thing, like how your spouse may also say stop taking drugs, it is a good thing that they are trying to stop you.

It is not time to "be the man" and reject them, if you do not listen and keep doing it and do not care about them, that means you do not love them enough, any man would know that if you love a woman you would stop breathing for them, you would die for them, stop gambling is nothing compared to that. My wife is not like that, she likes to gamble too, so we do not have that type of stuff but she did ask me to stop some things back in the day and I quit them, even though it was a tough deal, I still did it for her.

Yes of course, I won't sacrifice the love because of gambling. If the consequence is to high like having a deep argument or broking up because of gambling, I wouldn't risk it. It will just stop doing gambling or try to negotiate with my wife because we all know that gambling isn't something that you can quit instantly if you are playing it regularly or it is part of your entertainment. I think slowing down or slow quitting will do until you quit gambling.

Before I get married I need to ensure during our courtship phase that the person knows my lifestyle and is okay with it. I would be pretty upset if the person I get married to tries to change me by telling me to quit something that gives me Joy and makes me happy. They say birds of a feather flock together so the husband or the wife must be people who understand what gambling is so that when one is over doing it, the other one can call the person back gently with love and not judgmentally.

This is really a case to case basis and many things should be considered before going through with a concrete answer.

As for me, I was once told to quit gambling by my love ones due to one instances that I've did during one of my gambling session as I've lost a significant amount which affected us financially. I choose not to quit but rather decided to make sure to avoid the same mistake and to be on the same position back then. Also, I personally chose not to stop as I enjoy gambling as one of my leisures and I use my winnings to have fun with my love ones.

Anyways, just as I've said, it is a case to case basis whereas financial and emotional factors should be a huge aspect to make this decision.