Topic: Does it looks responsible as woman telling husband you gamble? - page 10. (Read 2300 times)

I agree with you and indeed hiding things that should be known to each other can lead to misunderstandings and in the end disputes that lead to destruction will definitely occur.
As couple, husband and wife must be able to understand and complement each other so that whatever one of them lacks, there will be someone who can complement it, and when problem occurs, the solution or solution must be done together.
Gambling in most countries does not have prohibitive regulations and most countries have legalized gambling, so when see or know about gambling activities, think it can be accepted well.
The most important thing is openness, honesty and also being able to understand each other, so whatever is done if it does not exceed the normal limits of woman, I sure husband will be able to accept it well.
A husband is responsible figure and is leader in family so that when he doesn't like what his wife is doing, advice and suggestions will definitely be given, and even guided to better path.

After all, we as men prefer and respect every honesty expressed from our respective wives.
This is form of affection for wife, namely being able to accept all shortcomings and also forgive and guide wife.

It is equal, as some men don't like gambling so some women don't also like gambling.
Generally, people don't like gamble because their misconceptions won't let them believe that gamble is safe, if they don't gamble with loan money or selling their personal belongings to gamble.
The reason why some people don't want to gamble is because how they have seen some gamblers that have do a lot of things so that they can gamble, some have sold their houses and lot more of their properties to gamble.

I think you are very happy in married life because your wife rules you a lot and seems to love you. If you gamble without listening to your wife it is not right for you. Because gambling is bad addiction it can ruin your life. My  Ex girlfriend's husband was addicted to gambling and lost all his money in gambling and committed suicide. Now I am thinking of marrying my ex girlfriend I think my ex girlfriend can keep me away from gambling.

I support gender equality, no matter what gender you are, I personally believe that you should still say that you are doing gambling to your husband given that gambling is an hazardous thing that could possibly lead to addiction, it would be better that your love ones are supportive on the things that you love to do. Though this depends on the person you are telling because we all have different views and opinion about gambling, your husband might be anti-gambling because of the experience he had that you didn't know. He might tell you to stop doing gambling at worst. Evaluate yourself on how much you know about your husband, you are the only one who can understand the possible reaction of your husband.

It's your call fbut personally with the context that you gave, I don't see nothing harmful on saying that you are engaging on gambling activities.

You tell her of course. Why hide it? You are husband and wife so I guess the two of you should be fully open about each other's activities, hobbies, experiences, etc.

Why do you even hesitate to share it with your husband? Are you afraid that he will get mad at you or he will stop giving you a share of his income?

I think there's no problem sharing it with your husband because you are a responsible gambler. And then you two discuss how you should handle it.

Hiding it doesn't help. It would be a bigger trouble if he catches you gambling with him not having even a little clue that you have been doing it secretly.

Man should be respect by telling them what is going on since you are the wife, you should not hide this things to him if you get addicted to gambling and he found out , your family is loosing money he will think that you are cheating, and might end bad for the both of you and your child if you have, your responsibility is for your family and being responsible is telling your husband this things.

There's nothing wrong. It is a way to give the husband the free mind to gamble and keep him under the radar. This also makes the husband know his limits and gamble than just going on the flow and losing. Transparency between the two will increase love, and the same used to give moral support. Even if the husband have experienced a massive loss the wife will stand for him and console. This will make life better than just losing and thinking unwanted things.

Yes, it is true what you said, that the woman must tell her gambling activities to her husband. Because he is no longer a child, if he has to play with secrets. Both of them are old enough to be able to understand each other.

And here I don't know for sure the main reason OP decided to gamble, perhaps because she didn't get enough attention and affection from her husband. OP decided to look for other pleasures, namely gambling. But whatever the reasons behind it, however, as a wife, you need to tell them about the gambling activities you do, because no matter what position you are in, you are already married, where you are already part of your husband's responsibilities. So what the wife does, the husband will be responsible for it, both in this world and in the afterlife.

I'm not sure, if I have the right advice to you. however, if you are a woman, especially if you are married, you should know that the habit of keeping secrets will usually have a bad impact. Likewise, if the situation were the opposite, how would you respond if your husband secretly liked to gamble. what is certain is that if things are kept secret, they will usually invite an unpleasant response, especially if they are known indirectly. in other words, for example, if you are caught secretly gambling.
in fact, I don't know you, not even your husband. so, you yourself can assess your own husband's characteristics. in your opinion, is your husband a typical neutral person or someone who upholds rights and freedoms? If that's the case, you can immediately open up to your husband. but with the condition, you have to explain it and take the time for it. so that there are no misunderstandings or missed information, prepare in advance the ideal words that will be used in your discussion with your husband. then, you can share your story and tell the truth. give him confidence, that you are just doing it for fun and nothing more. also give your husband an understanding about gambling, that in essence you gamble not to seek wealth, get additional income, but rather for entertainment and do it for fun but with certain limits. Tell your husband that the money you spend as gambling capital does not interfere with basic needs or does not use money that should not be used for gambling. You have to give him understanding from various points of view, that way your husband will understand and comprehend what you are doing.

Note, what I said was aimed at husbands who really don't know gambling or can be said to be lay people. However, if your husband is the type who thinks gambling is something wrong or something like that, your job will take time to give him insight and understanding first. Try not to be suspicious, so let it flow like you're having a discussion. most importantly, avoid arguments.
By the way, I hope what I say can help you, especially if you can do it more creatively.

One reason why some couples get separated is due to keeping secrets. I don't think it is a shameful act if we tell our partner about it and it is a part of the relationship to let our partner what we have done. And while we are talking about gambling, it should not be hidden because it already involves money and that should need approval from our partner. It is really a big mistake not to tell it and you're right, that is another form of dishonesty and that would be the start of big trouble and assumptions that there is more that is hidden.

You either choose honesty in your relationship, or secrecy and the "I know better" stance. That's your choice.

Personally, I always choose the first one. We share bank accounts, cars, whatever and we talk about everything and make plans together. If your idea for marriage is that you keep your secrets, eventually he's going to find out because you're together all the time. You're going to let it slip somehow and then you're going to regret it because he'll know you were dishonest so you can do it again. It's easy to destroy trust and very hard to rebuild it.

You have to follow your intuition and what you think is right. We as men, sometimes we're also hiding our activities like gambling to our wives because we don't want them to know that we're on it.

Or there will be a point of our lives that they might look for the extra money that we have but then, they will have no clue that it's already been spent on gambling and already have lost.

But if you're conscience tells you to tell your husband for him to be aware of it, do what is necessary based on your intuition.

There is even an expression that is appropriate here - everything secret sooner or later becomes clear. And the wife will definitely find out, but the main thing is from whom and when. These could be the husband's friends from whom he borrowed money and did not return it. After this, any wife will be surprised and think that maybe he is not telling anything other than this. Although until this moment she was sure that there was not a single secret from each other. This could be the first crack in your strong alliance. Someone will try to forgive such behavior, but remembering it every day will not be able to bear it anymore and ultimately the union will fall apart. The husband should have dared earlier and said everything directly. After stories like this, it’s better to think about whether it’s worth hiding anything about each other...

I can never argue with you since everyone has their own way of thinking, and I assumed that whatever others said about something was accurate because they had a reason for it. When it comes to two best friends, they believe things should be done transparently to build trust; husband and wife are far more than best friends because they live and do things together; I don't believe gambling can be done secretly because of the danger involved; as you said, if the wife decides to keep it a secret, what if the husband later notices? I believe the first thought that will come to his mind is that his wife is keeping it a secret, and this alone will reduce the trust he have for her.

As for me, I don't like gambling, despite the fact that I would appreciate it if she told me, and even though I can stop her, if she tells me, I will know what to do to avoid problems with her gambling habit.

There should be some level of trust and honesty between husband and wife, and if it's my wife in question, I will like for her to tell me everything, even if I will not like it. At least hearing it from her will go a long way for me.
 
And secondly, you said you are not using his money, and I believe he is also aware of your activities in this forum, which means you are exposed to a lot of information that can guide your part in responsible gambling, and you are also in a casino campaign that might need you to know more about what you are advertising here in the forum, so you might not even get a negative response from him as you might think as things turn out better than we expect them to be sometimes.

You put yourself in a bad position OP. It's like you feel that you're doing something wrong and making things worse by not telling him. First of all, ask yourself if gambling is a bad thing. Is he opposed to it? Doe he feel like it's a sin? What are the things that stop you from telling him?
I'm asking about all this because if you had a new hobby, like arranging flowers, and you'd spend some of your money on it, would you tell him? If the answer is yes, what's stopping you from telling him that you gamble? Are you afraid he'll leave you for it, or demand that you stop? If it's not a sin and he's not a recovering addict, or someone who hates gambling for no reason, just tell him. What's the worst thing that can happen?

Come to think of what OP said, I have not seen a woman or a lady that has a gambling addiction, could this be because of their nature of because we have few of them in numbers that gamble? But we have many of them that come to land based casino to have fun and play all sort of games and yet you never seen them depressed like the way guys do or even show this obsession with gambling, it's always the makes that want to gamble and more money or maybe the nature of man because they are risk takers and are seen as the providers.

If you are married, your husband has every right to know what you do and every of your activities, I'm speaking from religion views and not some western marriage of a thing where everybody does their thing. In Africa, you must tell your husband what you do because he bears your full responsibility and anything thag happen to you. There is nothing bad if you tell your husband that your gamble and you do it from your phone, that will save you from explanations any day you win large amount of money and that will prepare him so you don't get addiction because he will also be watching you closely.

This question doesn't really have a universal answer. The first question is if the husband is a gambling hater. Often times when husbands find out their wives are gamblers they usually get very angry with them especially because they feel their wife may be an addict who had been hiding it from them for a very long time.

A wife should understand if the husband is a gambling hater or he actually tolerates the act  before beaking the news to him. This will prevent an unnecessary argument or misunderstanding between the couples.

What is mentioned is in my opinion and it all depends on the husband, even though the points mentioned by the OP and the point of his obligation to carry them out well are his rights and I am just giving my opinion.
However, I personally say that I will not let that happen because there is a possibility that several points of the wife's obligations will be neglected, especially in the long term.

I hope you understand what I mean.

I think there is one missing there and that is being a responsible wife/partner.  I think it won't matter for the husband if his wife is engaged in gambling as long as the wife still do her part in the family.  Even if the wife done all those listed things stated by @OP if she is irresponsible when it comes to her task in the family, the husband will mind his gambling activity.


This is confusing, you will forbid your wife from gambling even though you have no problem if she gamble responsibly and I do not think that a gambling wife will be a bad example to the children as long as she do her responsibility and prioritized it over her gambling activity.