Topic: Does it looks responsible as woman telling husband you gamble? - page 8. (Read 2300 times)

The negative effects of gambling aren't the matter here because she has clearly stated in the opening post that her gambling activities are in no way affecting her or her family's life and she isn't gambling for richness or is using funds intended for other purposes, the only issue is that she has been hiding her activities from her husband.

You're right, communication is crucial, and it's better to discuss things and reveal the secrets yourself with your partner before they find out from somewhere else or finds out about it himself which would make him feel very bad because it would feel you've been deceiving him on his back since you never shared it with him.

But in my opinion, the negative point of view of the community on gambling will still persist and most likely this negative point of view will continue to persist until an unspecified time, because obviously the risk of gambling will still be there and this is what the couple is afraid of, namely when the gambling committed by one of their partners is no longer helped over time or in the sense that it has entered the phase of chronic addiction, the impact will be felt by all family members there.

On the other hand, I agree that communication is indeed one of the good approaches in terms of maintaining good family relationships, having good communication along with being able to balance a good mindset between the two parties will be useful for solving any problems that occur in the relationship, and on the other hand I really hope that they will be able to consider gambling activities from various sides, especially in terms of adverse effects and discuss rationally to find the best decision.

Everything should be opened and you wont really be finding any problems in regarding into your relationship towards your partner on which you wont really be that making yourself
having those kind of doubts and anxiety that you might really be caught on what you are doing. This is why it would really be that better that you should really be telling
things no matter how small it would be because something that wont really be that liked and once you do get caught then it would really be ending up that kind of possible arguments
on which it isnt really that healthy for a good relationship. You should really at least know on what are those things which your partner is liking or not.

so, that's why it's very important for couples when they want to talk about something sensitive, they have to look at the right situation to be able to say everything that needs to be discussed even if in the end there are some words that they don't agree with but at least if the conditions are peaceful, they definitely won't there will be arguments or misunderstandings and when discussing sensitive matters such as gambling, if you are not allowed to gamble, of course there is always a solution and well, as you said, gambling nowadays is not a bad thing so a wife can give confidence to her if he can maintain her responsibilities and remain a good wife who takes care of her children and gambles when she has free time.
I'm sure that as long as everything is discussed comfortably, our partner will definitely give us freedom as long as we don't cross the limits that have been determined previously.

I think that in every couple there should always be communication, there should not be any coverts or anything like that, things should always be that way , personally I am a person who also has his wife, has children , a nice family , but when she likes something that I don't, then I try to see something that doesn't negatively affect her life or mine or my children's , and if I see that they don't have any type of impact then I support her, I don't porbelma, things can be like that, now, if the rbelma is from a casino, and his way of playing, the first thing you do or what I would do would be to ask him the main thing, how much are you spending? because I see that if you are Spending a lot and without control, it will give you a couple of warnings , and that with money you have to be Careful , because it is very easy for you to fall into addiction if you do not have the Required control , it is something that Sometimes people cannot control , but they must.

  In this case things must always be shown in the correct way, inventions cannot be made with money, expenses in a casino must always be minimized so that the chances of winning can be increased, if we do not have the total understanding of how You should behave in a casino, it is better not to do it, it is better to lose help, as I have always said, if there is no money willing to lose in a casino, it is very easy to lose control, waste all the money you have at a time, and look for more to be spent again, and that is in accordance with the emotions, the impulses and with everything that has to do with good play, so every time we play or our partner plays, it would be good to tell him to play in our presence and see how he behaves with money, and if he puts money willing to lose or not, and how he reacts to basic decisions, based on this, it is the easiest way to determine his style and where the mistakes.

it's good if this is the case because the husband can be handled. in real life when a woman starts working and earns her own money while married, it's gonna start a tension between the two. i could be wrong but when a wife asks something like this means she has doubts about what her husband thinks.

we may have to consider where they live since she is from Nigeria. men there are dominant inside the house and will take all the money from their wives. from what i know.

Yes, that's what he meant by discussing this gambling problem with his partner so that no misunderstandings would occur. This will allow them to discuss more closely and express what they want. This is why there must be openness from the wife about her gambling activities to her husband so that the husband can understand that his wife only gambles periodically and is still able to look after herself and be responsible for her gambling activities.

If her husband advises her to start reducing her gambling activities until her wife can give up gambling, that would be even better because neither of them would think about allocating funds for gambling. They can shift their money allocation to other things that are more important than just gambling.

When we are in a relationship, whether we are dating or husband and wife, we should be open with our partner and that we don't need to hide anything which will ultimately cause arguments or commotion and if we are married it will definitely cause chaos which will make the children uneasy because they see their parents fighting. I always apply this to myself, if my partner is not honest, I will definitely be angry, therefore I always say anything to my partner so that there is nothing to hide between us.

Sometimes what causes people to hide things from us is because they feel that their partner will prohibit them, so they do things that are prohibited in secret without their partner knowing. But have we ever thought that any prohibition is only is for our good. Whereas a wife has the responsibility of taking care of the house and children a husband definitely thinks that if his wife gambles, it will interfere with his activities and is also not good for him, so most husbands usually forbid it his wife gambles not without reason.

Good point,  timing is a factor when discussing complicated things like gambling,  though we are already in an Era where gambling is no longer a big deal,  there's still a chance that your partner will not agree with what you are dealing with, but if you put it in the position where  both your mood is in the same place, you can use it as opportunity to discuss things where you and your partner  can openly provide your sentiment regarding to what you wanted him to realize.

Good communication helps not to increase  risk but instead  it will serves as a safe guard when you deal things the right way.

It's okay if the wife tells her husband that she also gambles. But a wife should be able to see when her husband is not busy and relaxing so they can chat about many things. It will also increase the closeness between the two of them so that there will be an interesting discussion between them. Maybe initially, the husband could not accept his wife's explanation, which was normal because if the husband gambled and told his wife about it, his wife would definitely do the same. So that's only natural. The wife can explain more about why she gambles to her husband, and the wife should be honest with her so that her husband does not get too angry. The wife can also say that as long as she gambles, she can be responsible well, and maybe later, her husband will ask her just to stop gambling because there are serious impacts behind gambling. And if the husband asks the wife to stop gambling, the wife must obey him and not indulge her ego because it is their household.

The keypoint on here is about having that no secrets into each other, no matter what on the things that you are getting involved into as long you are really that open or really that letting
the other side on the things that you are dealing. You are already married and it is really just that right that you should really be that honest just like i said earlier.
There would really be no problems if two of you would really be that open to each other, no matter how small it is because nothing beats out on having a relationship
which is really that open to each other and there's no secrets.

In speaking about gambling then its not bad to gamble, telling it wont really be an issue.Issue comes when you are already
spending tons of money just for you to gamble.

As a married woman, is not wise for you to keep anything from your husband and something as risky as gambling that needs all the advice that you can get to help you maintain a stable and mindset that will help make the best of decision at all time.
This is why as a woman, you will be needing the help of the husband to stay at best position while gambling,  because majority of men have good k knowledge of gambling and even if gour husband happened not to a gambler, he will still ha e o e or two experience about gambling that can help you as a man and if you also need to retain the trust between the both of you, yoh must have to share what os going on with you with your husband

It will depend on his response towards this, but if both of you do share everything together I think telling him about it wouldn't be a bad idea, note if your husband is someone that condemns gambling, he won't find it funny, but still telling him is a good decision in the right direction, your husband may feel bad because he might feel that you are too anxious to make money by all means and again their are some part of the world that doesn't encourage women involvement in gambling, they see it as not being traditional for women, I didn't say that women are prohibited to gamble in that part of the world but it is been seen as irresponsibility if a woman indulge in such act, I will also advice you that if you are doing such, you should thread with caution.

As a wife, opening up and informing your partner that you have involved in gambling does not seem appropriate. Most men would perceive it as a sign of desperation and risky behavior caused by their expectations of the best from their spouses, rather than random women who gamble as another source of money. Facts: Most men consider women who gamble to be idle and lazy; perhaps they have no right to evaluate any activity because the women in issue are grown enough to know what they want; anything that makes you happy, do it.

Gambling is never a bad thing and telling your husband that you gamble is the ideal thing to do. It will be bad if he finds out by himself.  By implication, he will feel that there are other things you might be hiding from him.

What matters in gambling is your ability to control the situation and manage your loss. However, since your involvement in gambling has not affected your relationship, lifestyle, or finances then, your husband will not pick any offense.

Don't be surprised that your husband might also be gambling. Hence, tell him. Men are overthinkers. Don't let him figure it out on his own. His reaction might be pathetic.

Yes, as many people say, it is not easy to stop gambling activities, even if for example you have stopped and managed not to touch gambling for some time, there are still memories and feelings of curiosity that can be an encouragement for you to try your luck again. and finally everything returns to the initial situation where you will start to have difficulty again stopping or ignoring the activity even though your goal is only for recreation.

Online gambling gives all gamblers the freedom and convenience to get involved whenever and wherever they are and of course I can confirm the statement you made that housewives usually have more time at home because their work is not too heavy and does not require a lot of time to complete. homework, therefore it is possible that when they are already in a boring situation without any activities they have the possibility to try their luck, I think this is a possibility that has quite big potential.

^
she is in a situation because his side job involves gambling just as what she said in the OP. whether to tell her husband that she gambles sometimes or not, its up to her since she knows her husband more than we do.

but i would suggest not to tell after all it's just her job. tell him about it, maybe just spark interest in the husband and may ask more about it and probably gamble as well.

Totally depends on what kind of person are  you or simply being wife. Lets say that they are housewives but we do know that gambling isnt something that to be that ideal for you to deal with
into those vacant time.Although no one does have the rights on what we should gonna do into our lives but dealing up with something which you would really be needing to make some
deposits or spending then it isnt something ideal nor really that preferred because it might really cause up that financial devastation if things turns out to be not be able to control well.
We do know that women arent really that someone whose really that good when it comes on handling situations specially into those who could cause that emotion impulsiveness
and on the time that they are on stress then this is where real different story would really be beginning.

There are instances that it has been with her when she was single then decided to quit when got married but that wouldn't be erased instantly and that urge her to gamble again. Or, just for leisure purposes considering her (the OP) seems to be in control of what she does. If it's online gambling I can attest that even my close relatives do it and they're just plain housewives, nothing much to do in free time seems to be their way to pass the time or to try their luck.

The question why is that, why would a woman that is already married decided to gamble? What would have triggered her interest to indulge in gambling? This not a bad ethics and I would never support that. If it is in a case of a single mother, I could concluded that she needed money to take care of her child. In a case when she has an husband, it looks absurd and not a good lifestyle. Society sees women gambling as irresponsible especially in a region where their is no much of internet influence. Anyone can decide to do whatever they like but not in a case where they wife would be gambling and the husband does not know about it.