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Topic: Does it looks responsible as woman telling husband you gamble? - page 5. (Read 2300 times)

hero member
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I still maintain that spouses should not hide things from each other. Only in the full trust of both spouses is it possible to achieve full mutual understanding and, consequently, a long and happy family life. That is why my wife found out that I like to gamble before she married me. And in fact it did not embarrass her at all, although she does not play gambling. Sometimes she watches me gamble, but she's not as interested in it as I am. She is more interested in her work and making the house comfortable.

Yes, it is true because the harmony of a relationship must always involve honesty or openness in various matters or old or new habits that our own partners have, because on the other hand it cannot be denied that this might cause problems in the end when it turns out that your husband knows about your gambling habits or even he caught you gambling, problems will very likely occur especially if it turns out that your husband is one of those people who does not like or always tries to avoid gambling.

Although basically we think that we are able to control and manage our gambling activities well so as not to cause any problems in the end, but still the name of a couple must be able to be open to each other, even though for example your husband is not angry with the gambling you are doing but it is not impossible that he could be angry due to your lack of openness in having this new habit. Therefore, it is clear that to minimize the occurrence of a problem, it is better to be honest with our partners.
sr. member
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Quote
And if you just keep it a secret, it's fine. This is my preferred choice if I am to put my feet in your shoes. This is like you are just browsing websites, you happen to land on casinos because they are related to cryptocurrency.
Personally, I don't encourage keeping such secrets in marriage, everybody should be open about their activities, so your partner doesn't feel left out. He might find out one day and be really mad at you for not informing him of such beforehand. if you were just dating, it wouldn't be a big deal to me, but marriage is a different case scenario.
We don't encourage them keeping such secrets in marriage but that's happens to many couple because they thinks that will be better if they keep that for themselves without telling their spouse.  That will depends on each decision because we can't force them to follows what we suggest. They are free to choose whatever they wants with their gambling activity and if they thinks that keeping their gambling activity secretly, they can still do that. But that woman should realizes about what will happens to their marriage if she keeps hiding their gambling activity to her husband. We can only suggest people about what they should do but we can't force them to follows our suggestion and that will be their responsibility to face what will happens later.
What is even so secretive about gambling that we can't share with our spouse? Gambling is not criminal, and neither is it a stimulant that can injure one's life, it is just part of the way of life, an activity of betting, it should not be secretive at all, especially if we are wise about it. But if you know that your spouse would frown at it, it is better you quietly it immediately and quietly. That's if you can tell him or her directly. Still, I advise that people tell their spouse so that they know the direct response. Who knows, the whole situation might be surprising to some people as their spouse could accept it, especially if the gambler is living a quality life and is responsible towards gambling to the extent that people may not even know that such a person is gambling.

This is the kind of gambling lifestyle we want, everyone can be proud of this, unlike the way most people go about gambling which makes people view it as irresponsible. Lastly, good family members, especially couples should be able to know everything about themselves, so letting the spouse know about this is the best way out. Unfortunately, keeping it till the spouse detects by his or herself may lead to more issues/damage than telling him/her yourself.
In any relationship specially when you are a married person then having those kind of secrets on which we know that there's no secret that could be hidden up forever. Lets say that you've been hiding your gambling activity into your husband but one day he had caught you on act on doing such thing, then what you would gonna do? So its better to tell him up about on the things that you've been dealing as early as possible,
this isnt really just only saving up yourself on possible conflicts but also it do lessen up the burden and stress of keeping it on secret. This is why it would really be that best that you should really be keeping no secret
neither from your husband or wife because nothing beats out on having that peaceful living on which you arent that hiding something.

Gambling is never been bad as long you do find yourself that responsible then it should really be just that fine but if you are really that making things out of control
specially with money spending then this is where issues do really come out and this is something that you should really be stopping in the first place.
legendary
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I still maintain that spouses should not hide things from each other. Only in the full trust of both spouses is it possible to achieve full mutual understanding and, consequently, a long and happy family life. That is why my wife found out that I like to gamble before she married me. And in fact it did not embarrass her at all, although she does not play gambling. Sometimes she watches me gamble, but she's not as interested in it as I am. She is more interested in her work and making the house comfortable.
member
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I see most members on this forum playing along with Rule 7 on your list, my take remains we shouldn't lie to ourselves whether or not we all gamble because we want to win not for fun, please we shouldn't be blindfolded with this unrealistic believe, it only fun when you have enough money you are willing lose,  and you just place random bets caring less about winning. Though this can't be overstretched as everyone has reasons for there action and believe is subjective.

Back to the real business.

No need to hide such from your husband, one of the quality of a healthy relationship is openness between partners, keeping it a secret might cause misunderstanding if he finds out by himself or in a different situation, so the earlier the better. You understand your husband practically well than any of us meaning you know how to go about it as far there is love between both of you it will be sorted out. No need for fear or panic.
The truth will be that you abide by the rules of the game, and it shouldn't in anyway affect your relationship or become a limiting factor to the family finance.
hero member
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For me you should tell your husband about it, keeping it a secret would only cause problems in the future.
For me if money is involve your partner should always know it, you didn't do anything wrong you could control your greed and if it doesn't really affect your daily life or you are using only your spare or excess money then there is nothing wrong with it, you are doing it for fun you are not addicted to it.
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Quote
And if you just keep it a secret, it's fine. This is my preferred choice if I am to put my feet in your shoes. This is like you are just browsing websites, you happen to land on casinos because they are related to cryptocurrency.
Personally, I don't encourage keeping such secrets in marriage, everybody should be open about their activities, so your partner doesn't feel left out. He might find out one day and be really mad at you for not informing him of such beforehand. if you were just dating, it wouldn't be a big deal to me, but marriage is a different case scenario.
We don't encourage them keeping such secrets in marriage but that's happens to many couple because they thinks that will be better if they keep that for themselves without telling their spouse.  That will depends on each decision because we can't force them to follows what we suggest. They are free to choose whatever they wants with their gambling activity and if they thinks that keeping their gambling activity secretly, they can still do that. But that woman should realizes about what will happens to their marriage if she keeps hiding their gambling activity to her husband. We can only suggest people about what they should do but we can't force them to follows our suggestion and that will be their responsibility to face what will happens later.
What is even so secretive about gambling that we can't share with our spouse? Gambling is not criminal, and neither is it a stimulant that can injure one's life, it is just part of the way of life, an activity of betting, it should not be secretive at all, especially if we are wise about it. But if you know that your spouse would frown at it, it is better you quietly it immediately and quietly. That's if you can tell him or her directly. Still, I advise that people tell their spouse so that they know the direct response. Who knows, the whole situation might be surprising to some people as their spouse could accept it, especially if the gambler is living a quality life and is responsible towards gambling to the extent that people may not even know that such a person is gambling.

This is the kind of gambling lifestyle we want, everyone can be proud of this, unlike the way most people go about gambling which makes people view it as irresponsible. Lastly, good family members, especially couples should be able to know everything about themselves, so letting the spouse know about this is the best way out. Unfortunately, keeping it till the spouse detects by his or herself may lead to more issues/damage than telling him/her yourself.
hero member
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Quote
And if you just keep it a secret, it's fine. This is my preferred choice if I am to put my feet in your shoes. This is like you are just browsing websites, you happen to land on casinos because they are related to cryptocurrency.
Personally, I don't encourage keeping such secrets in marriage, everybody should be open about their activities, so your partner doesn't feel left out. He might find out one day and be really mad at you for not informing him of such beforehand. if you were just dating, it wouldn't be a big deal to me, but marriage is a different case scenario.
We don't encourage them keeping such secrets in marriage but that's happens to many couple because they thinks that will be better if they keep that for themselves without telling their spouse.  That will depends on each decision because we can't force them to follows what we suggest. They are free to choose whatever they wants with their gambling activity and if they thinks that keeping their gambling activity secretly, they can still do that. But that woman should realizes about what will happens to their marriage if she keeps hiding their gambling activity to her husband. We can only suggest people about what they should do but we can't force them to follows our suggestion and that will be their responsibility to face what will happens later.
hero member
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After analysing your points, it sounds you are responsible at gambling. If a person can have control over him, can manage funds as well as emotion and always keep himself in discipline then its okey. So its good to go if you wanna continue. Now you wanna tell your husband about your gambling, right? As I don't know how he thinks about gambling, so it could be difficult to advise cause many people in our society doesn't have good impression regarding gambling. they think, gamblers are irresponsible & consider gambling as offense. So first try to have an idea about his mentality then try to tell him with better explanation cause he is your partner & he deserves to know about your activities. Otherwise his impression could be difficult when he found you gambling.
Its the same as any high-stakes game, like cards or business. Be smart, know your limits, and take care of the risk. Lets not forget that the main point is to have fun.

Its a good idea to talk to your husband. People in a relationship need to know about big moves just like they need to know about big moves. Being honest and sure of yourself is a winning strategy that everyone can admire. Show him that this is about being responsible with things and not about having an out-of-control habit.

People who think gaming is bad are missing the point. Life is a game, and if you play it right, it can be fun and test your skills. There is always some luck involved, but the smart thing to do is to play sensibly. Talk to them, but remember that you're in charge, both on and off the table.
legendary
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Your gambling now may be your personal hobby, but we won't know for sure if this hobby will have any impact on your family's finances in the future, right? Therefore, it is necessary for you to let your husband know about your gambling.
Share honestly and I believe he will understand and may even be happy that you were able to participate in gambling in such a disciplined way. Who knows, maybe you and he can participate in gambling together. Grin
Yes, it's better to be honest now than to hide it and eventually one day her husband finds out for himself, it will definitely hurt him, after all, even though we may feel confident that as long as gambling is still under good control or it's just a hobby, still don't ever try to use it. money that is specifically used for living needs has been given by the husband who may have entrusted his wife to manage his finances, but if it is misused for gambling it is clearly a wrong act, but if gambling is just for entertainment using money left over from shopping there may not be a problem.

The point is to try to prioritize openness to your husband because it is important, especially for a life partner who is clearly someone who must be respected, whatever our behavior is that he is not used to seeing, it is better to tell him never to cover everything up because it is impossible to hide anything secret if in the end In a matter of time it will also be revealed in the future, honesty in the household is very important to maintain harmony, lest the problem of the hobby of gambling can become an obstacle that makes the household fall apart.
sr. member
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The fact that you have to ask means he could have a different impression whenever you tell him.  If you are to tell him, you must first make him understand that it's just about a side job online.  If you are to start gambling, a minimum of a few bucks, a bit of experience won't hurt. Maybe try sports also.
Yeah, I think you should let him know about it and that your involvement is just for you to be able to continually contribute meaningfully to this section as a requirements to meet up with your weekly pay. Make him understand your patterns of engagement and the limitations you've set for yourself to ensure you don't waste your funds. If you guys understand each other properly, it shouldn't be much of a big deal, but if he first like it, you can stop and choose your marriage over your new found gambling habit


Quote
And if you just keep it a secret, it's fine. This is my preferred choice if I am to put my feet in your shoes. This is like you are just browsing websites, you happen to land on casinos because they are related to cryptocurrency.
Personally, I don't encourage keeping such secrets in marriage, everybody should be open about their activities, so your partner doesn't feel left out. He might find out one day and be really mad at you for not informing him of such beforehand. if you were just dating, it wouldn't be a big deal to me, but marriage is a different case scenario.
hero member
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After analysing your points, it sounds you are responsible at gambling. If a person can have control over him, can manage funds as well as emotion and always keep himself in discipline then its okey. So its good to go if you wanna continue. Now you wanna tell your husband about your gambling, right? As I don't know how he thinks about gambling, so it could be difficult to advise cause many people in our society doesn't have good impression regarding gambling. they think, gamblers are irresponsible & consider gambling as offense. So first try to have an idea about his mentality then try to tell him with better explanation cause he is your partner & he deserves to know about your activities. Otherwise his impression could be difficult when he found you gambling.
That makes sense, indeed if you can control yourself, including what you said, by being able to manage your finances and emotions, maybe it will be fine. But all of that can change at any time quickly, because gambling can usually influence our thinking to become messy and tends to lead our thinking to take big risky actions, such as accepting a bad defeat, of course this can trigger emotions and can make everything happen. so messy.
yes, I agree with you, it is true that most people have different views on gambling, even though we gamble responsibly, such as being able to manage our finances well and controlling our emotions too, there are still those who have a less favorable view of gambling. it will comment negatively, including the winnings obtained at gambling, maybe it will also be viewed negatively.
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What you said shows that you have been involved in gambling for a long time before you can practice such principles. It's not easy, especially for a woman like you. But I am wondering  that you have been involved in gambling for so long and your husband still doesn't find out?

Your gambling now may be your personal hobby, but we won't know for sure if this hobby will have any impact on your family's finances in the future, right? Therefore, it is necessary for you to let your husband know about your gambling.
Share honestly and I believe he will understand and may even be happy that you were able to participate in gambling in such a disciplined way. Who knows, maybe you and he can participate in gambling together. Grin
hero member
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After analysing your points, it sounds you are responsible at gambling. If a person can have control over him, can manage funds as well as emotion and always keep himself in discipline then its okey. So its good to go if you wanna continue. Now you wanna tell your husband about your gambling, right? As I don't know how he thinks about gambling, so it could be difficult to advise cause many people in our society doesn't have good impression regarding gambling. they think, gamblers are irresponsible & consider gambling as offense. So first try to have an idea about his mentality then try to tell him with better explanation cause he is your partner & he deserves to know about your activities. Otherwise his impression could be difficult when he found you gambling.
Even when the person doesn't know how the husband will react to the whole issue, it's better, as she brought up the discussion here, and most of the advice that was given to her was to tell her husband.
 
It's better she tell him first than for the husband to find out by himself that one will be a total different case, so the only thing that she will do if she has not done it is to mind the approach that she will use in telling the husband in other words not to make the case look somehow, and as I have seen, the Op is a very reasonable lady who knows her way around and is also in control of her gambling activities.
sr. member
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The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.
so first off, you know your husband better than any one else and you are obviously in the best position to tell what his reaction will look like if he finds out you're into gambling. I know quite a handful of ladies that gambles and it doesn't even show in their life and the way they go about doing things. As long as you know you can manage your emotion and wouldn't allow it comes to the stage where you will start to mismanage the resources that's in your desposition for house hold management, then it doesn't make a difference if you gamble or not. But the only issue that's worth taking into account is that if you have children that are quite young, you might need to ensure you don't expose them to gambling at an early age so it doesnt affect them negatively so you would want to ensure you've fixed that right before getting started.
sr. member
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After analysing your points, it sounds you are responsible at gambling. If a person can have control over him, can manage funds as well as emotion and always keep himself in discipline then its okey. So its good to go if you wanna continue. Now you wanna tell your husband about your gambling, right? As I don't know how he thinks about gambling, so it could be difficult to advise cause many people in our society doesn't have good impression regarding gambling. they think, gamblers are irresponsible & consider gambling as offense. So first try to have an idea about his mentality then try to tell him with better explanation cause he is your partner & he deserves to know about your activities. Otherwise his impression could be difficult when he found you gambling.
sr. member
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Allowing him discover by himself that you do gamble will definitely ruin things much more than it would if you tell him and he gets to know through you informing him, then he will be able to accept the fact that you respected him enough to have told him what you are doing with your funds and your free time .

He may not take it lightly when he first gets to know and that's normal because it's definitely going to shock him to know that his wife does such a but then the way you will approach him with it is definitely going to matter and have a lot to do with how he's going to react if you tell him ramosfully and promise to quit if he wants you to or regulate your habit as he wishes, you will see that amicably he's going to discuss it with you and there's definitely not going to be a big deal made out of it.

Something that is covered up will sooner or later find its way to the open. So before that happens, it's a good idea for her to tell her husband about this, even though this will make her husband angry or disappointed with her, but that doesn't matter, rather than later her husband finding out himself and being even more disappointed with what his own wife did.
There have been many cases of marital breakdown due to gambling, as a result of the wife/husband not wanting to be transparent with their partner and instead ignoring the matter. So instead of making the problem worse, telling your partner about your gambling activities is the best thing.
legendary
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Responsibility is not based on whether you tell other people including your husband about your gambling activities or not, because responsibility is something that is within yourself, the point is that I cannot be sure that you are a responsible female gambler even if you tell your husband. And anyway I think there are quite a few husbands who would actually allow their wives to engage in gambling activities, overall gambling has a negative viewpoint in the eyes of society and maybe even in the eyes of your own husband and it is possible that you may not get permission from your husband to engage in this activity.

One of the things that I think will be on your husband's mind is that he is worried that the money he gives you as money to meet the needs of the kitchen turns out to be used for gambling, it cannot be denied and this is a possibility that is quite potentially large to happen, no matter even though you have a good responsibility in gambling by being able to resist all the temptations that exist in gambling, I'm not sure if this is a good idea, but I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm not sure if it's a good idea, but I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea.

For women to have a social life, they will need to gamble and play with their friends. A loving husband I think wouldn't want to see their wife just wake up in the morning, get dressed, and then just sit on their porch watching cars passing by.

They gotta have a social life and not just taking care of their grandkids, they are not going to redo that over again, they are done with that. Some of them just visit their dying batches and friends all over the town, I'm sure it's a very sad situation ffor these old women. I would prefer them to just gamble around with their friends.

Do you think having a social life is only possible when they gamble? No, they can build social relationships with many people through other mediums and not just in the world of gambling, I understand that by gambling in a physical casino then you will be able to make many new acquaintances because you will meet many visitors who gamble at the same time as you, but if you mean more social relationships then I would say that a wife can improve social relationships with others in other ways such as hanging out with friends once a week on holidays, or exercising every morning with her neighbors in a group or going to one of the entertainment venues.

So you can't say that having an active social life can only be achieved by gambling, in fact this activity has the potential for a much worse situation when one day they have lost their responsibility in gambling activities which means they can end up like other addicts who have already fallen. For me, the saddest thing is when a woman who has full responsibility as a housewife ends up with an addict, because this can lead to arguments with her husband due to the excessive allocation of money to her gambling activities which makes them have problems making ends meet.
hero member
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Responsibility is not based on whether you tell other people including your husband about your gambling activities or not, because responsibility is something that is within yourself, the point is that I cannot be sure that you are a responsible female gambler even if you tell your husband. And anyway I think there are quite a few husbands who would actually allow their wives to engage in gambling activities, overall gambling has a negative viewpoint in the eyes of society and maybe even in the eyes of your own husband and it is possible that you may not get permission from your husband to engage in this activity.

One of the things that I think will be on your husband's mind is that he is worried that the money he gives you as money to meet the needs of the kitchen turns out to be used for gambling, it cannot be denied and this is a possibility that is quite potentially large to happen, no matter even though you have a good responsibility in gambling by being able to resist all the temptations that exist in gambling, I'm not sure if this is a good idea, but I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm not sure if it's a good idea, but I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea.

For women to have a social life, they will need to gamble and play with their friends. A loving husband I think wouldn't want to see their wife just wake up in the morning, get dressed, and then just sit on their porch watching cars passing by.

They gotta have a social life and not just taking care of their grandkids, they are not going to redo that over again, they are done with that. Some of them just visit their dying batches and friends all over the town, I'm sure it's a very sad situation ffor these old women. I would prefer them to just gamble around with their friends.

So this is really that actually situational on which not all would really be having that kind of treatment towards gambling on which there would really be those husbands that would really be preferring for their wives on involving into something on which it would really be dealing up with some activity but im pretty much sure that most husbands wont really be choosing over gambling as a side activity on which we know that money or financial is the main thing that could really be affected possibly with their families overall budget and finances on which it would be common sense for us to know that its not something ideal for
someone to deal off with. If we do talk about socilization then there are other things on which she could be able to deal with or engaged with and not necessarily that would be pertaining about gambling.

Agree into those sentiments above that it would really be best that you should really be telling your husband while its still early rather than on making yourself that missed out on doing so
or keeping it as a secret forever on which its true that there's no secret that could be hold up forever. Time will come that it would be bust up sooner or later.
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Responsibility is not based on whether you tell other people including your husband about your gambling activities or not, because responsibility is something that is within yourself, the point is that I cannot be sure that you are a responsible female gambler even if you tell your husband. And anyway I think there are quite a few husbands who would actually allow their wives to engage in gambling activities, overall gambling has a negative viewpoint in the eyes of society and maybe even in the eyes of your own husband and it is possible that you may not get permission from your husband to engage in this activity.

One of the things that I think will be on your husband's mind is that he is worried that the money he gives you as money to meet the needs of the kitchen turns out to be used for gambling, it cannot be denied and this is a possibility that is quite potentially large to happen, no matter even though you have a good responsibility in gambling by being able to resist all the temptations that exist in gambling, I'm not sure if this is a good idea, but I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm not sure if it's a good idea, but I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea, and I'm sure it's a good idea.

For women to have a social life, they will need to gamble and play with their friends. A loving husband I think wouldn't want to see their wife just wake up in the morning, get dressed, and then just sit on their porch watching cars passing by.

They gotta have a social life and not just taking care of their grandkids, they are not going to redo that over again, they are done with that. Some of them just visit their dying batches and friends all over the town, I'm sure it's a very sad situation ffor these old women. I would prefer them to just gamble around with their friends.
hero member
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Even if he is going to get angry because of what you will tell him about gambling it won’t change the fact that you still need to tell him, at least he is your husband even if the money that is going to be used for gambling is not going to come from his pocket it’s important to at least let him know of what the wife do with her free time. The feelings no matter how bad it will look it won’t be as bad as when he will have to discover it by him self so better off telling him on time and get it off your mind.
Allowing him discover by himself that you do gamble will definitely ruin things much more than it would if you tell him and he gets to know through you informing him, then he will be able to accept the fact that you respected him enough to have told him what you are doing with your funds and your free time .
Exactly my point, telling him with her mouth is better than the husband using his hand to discover because if that happens it will be hard for the husband to forgive and secondly their might be a little clash on trust in such marriage which is what no man or woman want in their marital life.

Gambling is not completely bad and the husband will also understand if she cool her self down and give an explanation to the reason she is gambling and she is also in control of her self.

Better than the husband find it out on his own and create doubt with her, telling something in a manner that the husband deserves the truth is creating good relationship between the two, you are already attach to your husband and if you need to tell him something that may create bad things to your marriage better to tell him.

Telling your participation into gambling will also helps to watch you out and not to let you go on deep and get addicted, changes in mood and your actual attitude may allow him to make a good stop and prevent you to keep on playing.
And we do know that there's no secret into this world that could be burried down forever or something that cant be known. Sooner or later those things would be exposed or would be known and once caught then expect
on whats the potential arguements and words would be heard off, specially if you do have those kind of financial related problems on which you would really be having those questions on where those funds go
or your husband would really be having those questions about  your salary or income source on which it is really just supposedly to be applied and make use in families expenses and other payment or bills.
So as a wife that been dealing up with gambling on which even if you would really be saying into yourself that you do have the control or discipline but still it would really be that ideal that you should
really be telling everything into your husband so that you wont really be having those problems on the time you would be caught. Also, having those transparency and open mindedness is one of the
things we do really need to have in a relationship.
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