Topic: Does it looks responsible as woman telling husband you gamble? - page 2. (Read 2290 times)

When it comes to marriage, husband and wife needs to openness in anything so there will be no misunderstand especially if one of them wants to playing gambling. However, they know that gambling can makes them lose everything they have even their marriage gets the risks too. If one of them can't control their emotions and finances, that will makes them lose the money and that can triggers to gets more problem than just losing their money.

When someone often playing gambling and finally marriage, he needs to reduce his gambling activity because he doesn't lived alone but he has partner and they needs to sit together and discuss many things including about gambling. They can't lie to their partner because of their habit because that can impact to their marriage and even their life can gets the risks. It's worth to discuss to our partner so they can gives suggestion to us because we are not lived with our partner.

You made good points here but it is not good for a married woman to get involved in gambling activities that's just it because women becomes more emotional than men so no matter how a woman can control her emotions in gambling, she can't completely bear a loss because as a woman a day may come when you can decide to use the money given to you by your husband for family up keep and gamble since you have knowledge about gamble it will make you to act in conviction sometimes especially if it involves a woman who bets on sports because she can basically see a game that she feels it will play according to her prediction just like when a smaller club meets a bigger team and she wants to make a single event bet because she's so sure of the outcome of the event she can decide to gamble with the money given to her by her husband and might end up losing it.

Even if a woman had a conversation with her husband to find out if he is comfortable with gambling or not, it doesn't change the fact that the wife is a gambler and even if the husband doesn't like gambling but she won't be able to quit her gambling habits because it's hard for people who have been involved in gambling activities to quit, the only thing she can do is to minimize her gambling rate but she definitely is not going to stop after inquiring from her husband if he likes gambling and finds out that her husband don't like gambling. And even if the husband is okay with gambling how will it sound to know that his wife is a gambler if he later finds out. A woman can gamble especially the ones that are not yet married but for a married woman it's not advisable.

The marital relationship between you, but in my religion a couple must fully trust their partner, and that includes the fact that we don't keep secrets.
You should ask yourself: How much could this secret rock my marriage if he finds out some other way?

Another reason for you to tell him this is that it will certainly help you avoid falling into addiction, as the money you spend on games will probably be money that would come from your family income, right? Isn't it right for him to know how this money is being spent and help you spend it responsibly?

What's the problem with your husband knowing about your side activity, as long as you strictly follow the observations he mentioned to maintain good practice in gambling? Of course, depending on your country and culture, tastes, opinions and marital issues may be different.

But do you like it or do you do it for profit? Well, it doesn't matter much, but is it bringing you a positive financial result? Even if you participate in campaigns here on the forum? What's wrong with him knowing that? I think women should also have their hobbies, tastes and opinions.

I don’t know how come am seeing this thread for the first time, perhaps I didn’t give it much attention but, I was smiling all the while I was reading through the OP. Having to find someone who doesn’t really have an idea of gambling, gains interest and feels, you can actually control it from the very first impulse. Well, I really hope it does work that way with you but it’s been since January and out of curiosity, I’m tempted to ask;
Just how have you been fairing since then?

I don’t see why you shouldn’t speak up on your concerns in a marriage, it’s a marriage, you both are in it and should it matter to you, you get yo discuss it as a family. I’m sure he would understand it isn’t about selfish interest but, for the common good of both and the rest of the family. Habit on the rise, you discuss how to archive control.

A household is a situation where you depend on one income which is usually used to meet all your and your family's living needs, while we know that gambling is an activity that requires a gambler to allocate a certain amount of money, or in the sense that money is a requirement to be able to involved in gambling, meaning this is a habit that can increase family financial expenses, and of course I think it's better to tell our partner about the habits we have, I think if your habit doesn't involve a certain amount of money then it doesn't matter if you don't. tell your partner, but because it is clear that gambling is an activity that involves money then of course it is better for you to tell your partner that you are involved in gambling.

On the other hand, I understand that some of the points you said OP uphold good responsibilities as a gambler, but that doesn't mean it's impossible for you to end up falling and being carried away unconsciously by an impulsive approach to gambling, which of course can lead to You are risking much more money than usual, which means it can certainly threaten the financial balance in your family, so of course I think it's better to be open with our partner, especially since this is a habit that involves money.

One of the main issues or potential problems on a relationship is on the moment that the other one would really be keeping up secrets or dealing up with things on which they do know that their partners would really be hating. Lets say that you are already married on which we know that when it comes to finances or money then both sides should really know about the money that been spent no matter how small it would be.
If you wife have decided to make out some sports betting or dealing up with gambling and spending up money in secret but since your husband didnt notice it out then you have decided on keeping it silent.
I would really be rather be saying that it would be better that you should really be making those steps on telling it into your husband or your wife on what you are dealing on with.
In a relationship, its never been good when you are really that hiding something yet this would really be questioning out about your honesty and loyalty on which we know that this is really that
an important trait to have in relatioships.

I read what the OP wrote well, which is why I wrote what you see in a bit. I didn’t understand the concept of the topic, but I was taking advantage of the strategies that she can follow in order to tell her husband, and if she knows that her husband is the type of person who hates gambling, she shouldn’t tell him because he will stop her from doing the gambling, and if that happens, she will find it hard to stop. Because based on what she wrote, she already has a good understanding of gambling, and she wants to use this opportunity to inform him if he will be interested in joining because that is the main subject of the topic, so with consideration, you are supposed to know that she is willing to invite her husband to gambling because she thinks it might be very helpful for them. 

You probably didn't read the OP because you have missed the context of the topic. The topic isn't about the wife telling her husband that he should gamble, but it's about the wife telling her husband that she gambles, which means that the wife gambles but the husband doesn't know, and now the wife is asking whether it is good if she tells him about it or not.

In my opinion, it all boils down to the trust thing. You never know what he might think after he comes to know that you have been hiding this from him this whole time, and this might create trust issues between the two, but if you don't tell him and he comes to know from somewhere else or himself, that would be even more heartbreaking because I can't even imagine that my partner would hide something from me and I would come to know about it from someone else.

Two things are involved. One is, did your husband understand how gambling works or not? The school question is: even if he doesn’t view gambling in a positive manner, if he wishes to start gambling, will he be able to control his emotions and finances? If you get these two answers, you are covered by the case study. This is your husband, so you are expected to know many things about him, which include his reaction to things that he doesn’t like. You will find it easy to know if he likes gambling or not. 
 
For instance, you will have a discussion with both of you about the fact about the fact that you saw a film that was fully focused on gambling and you found out many things from there, so what is his view about gambling? So from here, he will be able to express his feelings about gambling. You don’t tell him that you are the one doing the gambling because if he hates it, he will definitely be angry with you. That is why sometimes you have to use some strategies to ask other people for ideas without their knowing. 

Yeah he is especially sports betting, that is why he loves football.
Besides  I have already made it known to him so I don't think there is anything to be afraid of over here anymore, i think if you take a close look at my previous post you would see that I have already answer the question but just leave this topic to see the general opinion of other people here otherwise nothing much effectives on our two concerning my involvement to gambling.

This is one I've never heard before.  I couldn't imagine having a significant other that would encourage you to gamble your funds away.  I would likely be a bit offended it I had a significant other that would encourage this behavior.  I would assume she's either a degenerate living through you because she lacks the intelligence to figure out how to gamble on her own, or she thinks so low of you that your only chance at supporting her financially would be to get lucky in a casino.  Either way, something is up if your significant other is encouraging gambling with your money.  At least that's what I'd think.

And you won't have any problems, because that's how things are done, we can't stop doing what we like for a woman or any woman, since it's our essence, it's what we are, therefore what you did is what every man should do, there are circumstances where those things are hidden perhaps for fear that they won't like it and I think that is a lack of courage on the part of a man, one should always be what one is, and if she doesn't accept it then nothing can be done, she's not the right one, I've seen cases where those things are hidden and sometimes it's a reason for breakups, it's very ugly to see those things, especially in close friendships, and that happened to a friend from university, a very good friend of mine, when he was feeling bad, drinking a lot of alcohol, I saw him in a tavern and he told me the whole story and obviously it was because she didn't like him going to the casino, that he said he was going to look for women and spend money, so I told him: "There are more than 5 billion women in the world and you die for one, just one?" After he understood the magnitude of my words I felt that he changed and began to feel better, and a week later he found another woman, and he looked for me and said, you were right, there are all these women, and one is better than the other, there are many and I ahhh well, and the worst thing is that there are guys who kill themselves, commit suicide just to lose 1 woman.

I have never had a problem with it. When I started dating a girl and the relationship took hold I would immediately tell her that I play poker. I explained it to her in a calm way so that she would understand because many people associate gambling with problems, vice and things like that. So far I haven't had any problems, but gambling behind your husband's back when you've been with him for years and one day he comes out of the blue, I don't know how it will look like.

When he can not enjoy playing gambling, he doesn't have to still playing gambling. He can do many activities than playing gambling and enjoy the activity. Playing gambling can cause loses control and that can leads him losing his money. 

Gambling is just for fun and not for makes money. That is what we must understands so when you feels it is difficult to enjoy gambling games, you must stops it and search for the other things. It is better to prevents ourselves from lose the money so we don't feels sad of loses the money.

Playing gambling with all of the money is not a good idea because you may loses all of your money. When you lose your money in gambling, you will difficult to buy other things you wants. That is why you must always be careful when playing gambling but it is better to stops gambling if you feels that is not right.

but of course everyone has the right to do what they like, if they gamble because they like it, that's no problem in my opinion, it's just that they need to gamble responsibly. Apart from that, there is no definite profit that can be obtained from gambling, even if the person who gambles has a good attitude, such as being responsible for everything he does or gambling in a healthy manner without overdoing it, it is not a problem. The problem is those who gamble excessively, so Not only does he harm himself, but other people around him are also affected by this, which actually needs to be prevented.

Gambling involves money and luck, even though we lose more often, but if we are lucky then there will be wins that can bring joy. I found my brother who didn't know anything about gambling, but he always saw me gambling so at some point he was curious. wanted to try it and before that I warned him not to overdo it and to be able to control himself. However, when he started gambling he was able to get a win that could be said to be big, this is where luck comes into play. Don't put too much hope in gambling because it can cause problems, do gambling appropriately and be patient for luck to be on your side.

Depends on whether your husband is gambler or not.

If he is a gambler then I think he  will able to take your sudden admission of being in the same class  in stride.

If he is not a gambler, then  try to lead him on gambling, let's say, by visiting the local casino. I think atmosphere there will be  conductive to his positive reaction on your admission.
 

I believe that it does not matter whether you are a man or a woman in order to place bets. Both have the right to gamble. But this is just a matter of responsibility. If you are a responsible player and are confident that your game will not cause problems for your family, then you do not need to tell anyone that you are playing. It's another matter if this leads to some problems. Here you will have to tell your husband about the source of these problems. I think many players have a chance of becoming addicted. Sometimes this problem can only be solved together.

I already answered a similar message in the next topic, but don’t you consider, for example, playing cards with friends for some symbolic bets as entertainment? You don’t have to play for houses or cars, the budget for the whole evening can be equivalent to several packs of cigarettes and no more.
It’s just a normal way of spending time and spending very little money. Besides, if this game is played once a month, it won’t hit the budget.

I feel like he might be living in a Muslim country. Many countries cultivate traditional marriage where a woman stays at home, cooks and takes care of children, while the husband works and brings money home.
You might not know this, but in some of these countries women can't drive cars, can't walk alone in the street at night, cannot touch a man that is not a member of the family... I'm not surprised there are people who think women can't gamble.