Topic: Does it looks responsible as woman telling husband you gamble? - page 2. (Read 1863 times)

It is really difficult to determine when a person is serious or wants to grab something for fun, that's why I say something, you have to find a person and speak to them as clearly as possible, telling them that you want something for a while, for a party or something Serious , I think that in the world there are many people like that and that they are for all those tastes, of course one as a gentleman must do it, there is no other way, of course that also depends a lot on how a person can see it, whether a woman or a man, one As a man proposes it and the woman is willing, there are women who are not looking to get married nor are they going for the same thing, so in these things you have to be very clear, not get too excited and see things really as they are, it is a Shame that in a couple that Probably had a possible good future Because you have to ruin things for money.

Isnt it depends on a gambling results ? We had topic here, when women split with boyfriends after winning a hefty amount in a lottery. So if you are a good at gambling, win regularly and your relationships arent healthy, then keep it in secret. And win a tag of "greedy toad" I would not keep anything in secret with my second half, but it is all up to you. Weigh all pros and cons, but I bet there will be no pros at all.

Agreed, I fear lack of solid foundation, in whatever you plan to do, the beginning is the most important part, how you start is what will define the end result, and so is relationships too.

Before you start a relationship with anyone you must have claimed to like them, even if you are a natural liar, you should understand that becoming someone's life partner is different, don't ever start using lies to build your foundation, it's not going to end well.

You could end up fighting every day to make them believe that you have changed, because in today's world, once someone finds out that you lied to them it means you can't be trusted, and they won't see you the same way they used to.

Solid foundations are always built on trust, especially between spouses, give no room to lies.

This is where it is really that important when you are still dating someone, whether you would really be going for wife-material girl or would really be still that for the sake of fling or non serious relationship but since dating could really give out that kind of chance on knowing him/her even more. Its true that when hiding something on a relationship which does shows up
that you dont have that kind of respect towards your partner. Once you do caught up your partner to be having that behavior or kind of trait then expect that when you do go to marriage
then it is most likely that would really be committing out on the same mistake on which this is something that would really be happen. This is why it would really be best that you should
really be that honest as much as possible because this would really be leaving out with that kind of worry free if you arent that hiding something.

I agree, sincerity between two people who are friends is essential, we would not be doing anything if this is lost, that is why many people appeal to continue in a relationship where both deceive each other, or where one of them deceives the other. . On the other hand, I also start from something, between heaven and earth there is nothing hidden and in a couple when it is discovered that one of the two hid something from them, the other person will feel offended because they will say: what am I doing here? What to do with a person who is supposedly on your side and hiding things? It is something that should not be done, things tend to be clear in the couple, that is why there are so many Divorces in the world , because people do not know each other at Least a little better, when they have secrets , Some people don't let them know that they don't like them and they don't forgive them. If you have a partner, I think you Should always trust that partner.

I am not judging anyone but what you just mentioned in the first line is one of the issues with marriages these days, why end up with someone you can't share everything with in the first place? That's what the person will have to live with for the rest of his/her life which I don't think is cool. I understand that relationships are not the same and we have to "dance to the music as the beat sounds," nevertheless, if such a little matter can be hidden, much worse would be hidden/pretended as well which will not make the spouses to be plain with each other and I do not see that as a good relationship. This is sad. I do not want to sound like a relationship expert but a concerned fellow.

I won't ignore the fact that I love peace in every relationship, which will always make me advocate one mind in relationships, or quit if that is not possible to avoid future issues. Gambling matters is the easiest thing I believe any free spouse can discuss, and for the good of the family, the resolve of both of them should be the final. After all, gambling is not a must, you guys may resolve into better things that will even be more beneficial to the family than gambling. Thankfully, you mentioned the spouse possibly helping in case of addiction or gambling challenges. However, if the spouse does not share the gambling issue but rather wastes money which affects the family both directly and directly, that can't be cool.

This is quite an impressive statement, honesty is everything because lies will only bring destruction and add new problems that are much more difficult than before.
Maybe lying can hide what happened for while, but you have to understand that no lie can continue for long time, there will come time in the future when all these lies can be exposed.
When everything is known, that where new problems start to emerge that can destroy anything, including trust in wife, clearly this is something that must be avoided because it is related to family integrity and harmony.
Moreover, saying everything about what happened earlier would be much better and more acceptable than hiding it and letting husband find out directly what he did.
Obviously emotional, and also feelings of not being appreciated arise and trigger bad things to happen if the lies that have been carried out can be found out directly by the husband, of course the consequences could be much worse.
Maintaining trust is not easy because once trust is destroyed it will be difficult to get it back.

Gamble for fun or you definitely mean the real deal? The facts still remain, husband gamble doesn't call for any attachments for the wife to join in gambling because the whole scenario becomes complicated as both of them will utilized budgets money to place wagers and runs heavy losses in the system. It is better, and stated to clarify the fact that you inform your spouse you gamble, it will be more simpler to spot out the differences and feelings, other than the husband finding out on his own, and we know how confrontational most of them can turn out to be.

I strongly agree with this approach for the simple reason as if it is not done like that then most likely the marriage or relationship would tear down in ashes.I do this with my wife,she knows I gamble although I don't tell her the exact amount of money as that maybe as a stopper for her to don't let me continue my activity,or better at least I used to do so as so far it is been a while since I have not been gambling at all because of huge lost amounts of money in a consecutive way.

The real way to go is to share even the small little things you would not be sharing normally with your wife or husband as this can strengthen the relationship between the two and make a family stronger in any circumstance that may occur.

True, basically if you or anyone is able to control and manage their gambling activities properly in the sense of gambling without putting hope and seriousness on winning then yes maybe it won't be a problem if we don't keep it a secret from others, after all the most important thing is that we gamble with our own money and don't harm others or that means if for example you do everything yourself without involving others then yes it doesn't matter not to keep it a secret.

But yes try to treat gambling activities in accordance with the advice, or that means gambling only with the intention and purpose of entertainment and this is advice for all gamblers because after all the intention and purpose of earning can never succeed if you bring it to activities that have absolutely no certainty whatsoever in terms of producing winnings. So of course as you say that it is better to be honest with our partners about our gambling habits, because after all the name of the carcass will one day smell too, or the point is that even though you always try to hide but in the end I am sure your partner will find out because through the family's financial condition is suspicious, so rather than in the end causing problems it is better to be honest from now on.

Maybe for some people gambling is okay to be share to their spouse but for some people, that is a secret that no one needs to knows. As long as that person can be wise using gambling and can be a responsible gambler, she will not have a problem when playing gambling or after she finish playing gambling. But there are a chance for her to gets deeper in gambling, especially if she lose control while playing gambling. She will not gets a help from anyone when she gets a problem from gambling and that's why she must tells to her spouse about her gambling activity. If her spouse knows about her gambling activity and he is not agree with that, he can asks her to stops his gambling activity for her own good. Our spouse will suggest the best thing for us so we will not makes a problem for our family.

If someone used gambling as his lifestyle, he will not be able to follows because playing gambling needs money while we have many things to be filled. It's better we can used as an activity like the other activities and not playing gambling too often to avoids many problems or impacts that can occurs while we interact with gambling. If we wants to playing gambling, we must have self control and responsible in gambling so we don't have to lose much money and can still enjoy gambling as an entertainment.

Well said, when it comes to marriage life, everything should be transparent between husband and wife, if you really respect your partner, you have to said everything to them especially that money is involved in this case. It is also good that your partner knows the activities you do so that in case there is a problem, he is aware and knows what can help or give you advice. When you're married, you two should know each other, even the smallest details, because that's one of the vows you made when you got married.

Yeah, you should really be a responsible gambler but we do know that when it comes to marriage then everything should really be transparent because on the time that you would really be that hiding
something into your partner then you are just basically putting up yourself on getting caught. I do agree into those words above that there's no secret that cant be known or would be hidden forever.
This is why as early as possible then you should really be telling on everything into your partner because you cant really be able to know on when you do get busted.

No matter how responsible you are in gambling but you do often on playing no matter what then sooner or later you would really be able to experience
the worst when it comes to gambling addiction. It would really be that impossible to hide when finances are already that gradually been eaten up or spend on.
There's no way that it could really be hidden it into your partner.

This is not about husband and wife’s, man or women. But in gambling you should make sure never to be compelled into practicing gambling.

Gambling comes with huge risks and responsibilities, being compelled into gambling is a recipe for disaster and it is a bad idea as well.

OP, such advise in the subject post is bad and not responsible

Gambling is not actually need to be hidden, or keep it as a secret, as long as you are doing it for fun and just a side income, without compromising your finances, then that’s good to tell. Your husband might understand your purpose most especially if he is also a responsible gambler. But if he is on the other side and treat gambling negatively like how others are seeing it, that would cause a little problem. That’s why you have to be honest to him as earlier as now, so that whatever your reason why you are in gambling, he will clearly understand it without doubts and hesitation.

Honesty is the best policy
One lie ruins a thousand truths.
A half truth is a whole lie

These are the things that i do believe about honestly on which we know that once trust is broken then it cant never be that goes back to normal
on which it would really be that something that common sense that you shouldnt really that make yourself that involved into those secrets
because once its been find out then trust is something that could be broken and its not really that something good to a relationship.

Yes, it is true because the harmony of a relationship must always involve honesty or openness in various matters or old or new habits that our own partners have, because on the other hand it cannot be denied that this might cause problems in the end when it turns out that your husband knows about your gambling habits or even he caught you gambling, problems will very likely occur especially if it turns out that your husband is one of those people who does not like or always tries to avoid gambling.

Although basically we think that we are able to control and manage our gambling activities well so as not to cause any problems in the end, but still the name of a couple must be able to be open to each other, even though for example your husband is not angry with the gambling you are doing but it is not impossible that he could be angry due to your lack of openness in having this new habit. Therefore, it is clear that to minimize the occurrence of a problem, it is better to be honest with our partners.

In any relationship specially when you are a married person then having those kind of secrets on which we know that there's no secret that could be hidden up forever. Lets say that you've been hiding your gambling activity into your husband but one day he had caught you on act on doing such thing, then what you would gonna do? So its better to tell him up about on the things that you've been dealing as early as possible,
this isnt really just only saving up yourself on possible conflicts but also it do lessen up the burden and stress of keeping it on secret. This is why it would really be that best that you should really be keeping no secret
neither from your husband or wife because nothing beats out on having that peaceful living on which you arent that hiding something.

Gambling is never been bad as long you do find yourself that responsible then it should really be just that fine but if you are really that making things out of control
specially with money spending then this is where issues do really come out and this is something that you should really be stopping in the first place.

I still maintain that spouses should not hide things from each other. Only in the full trust of both spouses is it possible to achieve full mutual understanding and, consequently, a long and happy family life. That is why my wife found out that I like to gamble before she married me. And in fact it did not embarrass her at all, although she does not play gambling. Sometimes she watches me gamble, but she's not as interested in it as I am. She is more interested in her work and making the house comfortable.

I see most members on this forum playing along with Rule 7 on your list, my take remains we shouldn't lie to ourselves whether or not we all gamble because we want to win not for fun, please we shouldn't be blindfolded with this unrealistic believe, it only fun when you have enough money you are willing lose,  and you just place random bets caring less about winning. Though this can't be overstretched as everyone has reasons for there action and believe is subjective.

Back to the real business.

No need to hide such from your husband, one of the quality of a healthy relationship is openness between partners, keeping it a secret might cause misunderstanding if he finds out by himself or in a different situation, so the earlier the better. You understand your husband practically well than any of us meaning you know how to go about it as far there is love between both of you it will be sorted out. No need for fear or panic.
The truth will be that you abide by the rules of the game, and it shouldn't in anyway affect your relationship or become a limiting factor to the family finance.