Topic: Does it looks responsible as woman telling husband you gamble? - page 3. (Read 2300 times)

Anything you have to keep secret in a relationship is going to do harm over the long term. I understand that it is frowned upon for different reasons in some countries or cultures, but anywhere it is legal should not bring feelings of shame upon someone if they are doing it responsibly. If you're throwing 20 bucks a week on it as a form of entertainment and have it under control, then it is very similar to other forms of entertainment - some people pay to watch people in the theater, donate to their favorite online streamers or buy loot boxes in games. It's when you start going too deep down the rabbit hole and throwing away lots of money, even money that you have not solely earned, then it starts to enter much murkier territory.

Necroposting is really just that bad or simply violates forum rules and this is why it would really be that important that you do really know on what the forum rules are so that you wont really be
finding yourself having that problem on which causes up some problem later on. So that for that @vs2014 guy then you should really be refraining on doing this.

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Going back to the topic, as a wife whose really that getting involved with gambling but on a secret way then it would really be best that you should really be telling this
into her husband because on the moment that she got caught then it would really be that a huge problem because once trust could be broken then it would really be that broken forever.
We can forgive but we cant be able to forget and we do know what gambling could bring out that devastative thing into our finances if we wont really be that careful towards it.
Even if you do say that you do have those qualities and actions above but sooner or later the spending you would be doing will really be lots.

How far did you go to dig out this thread though 😂? With last comment here being in the month of April, I can imagine how deep it was buried before you dug it out.

Anyway, saying if difficult for gamblers to control their emotion is a wrong statement, you should not generalize such things because we all are different, and if you particularly find it difficult to control your emotions any time you Gamble, then understand that it might not exactly be the same for another gambler.
And saying that gambling is not fun venture because it involved money that is earned hard leaves me more curious to want to understand what your perspective towards gambling really is, because as I understand, people go to movies, spend money there, people even pay money to watch players play various type of sports games, people go to clubs, parties, and spend their hard earned money, what is all this for if it's not to have fun? What do you think makes gambling different from all this that I mentioned?

I think gambling is not for you and since you don't enjoy it much then refrain. First of all it is difficult for a gambler to control his emotions because he will play even if he wins and he will play even after losing. Gambling will not give you guaranteed profit results and here is uncertain money calculation. Moreover there will be losses and wins in every game so gambling is no different from there. You agree in one word that playing gambling with all the money is foolish and it can put you in financial crisis. Before i conclude and i never think of gambling as fun because it has to do with money that we have to earn hard.

In my own it's good to you and your family once you will tell them especially your husband  that you are involved in gambling and secretly you are playing some games. Once you already said that on your husband then one thing for sure it will shock but afterwards you and your husband talk about gambling and if he gonna tell you that it's okay to gamble then thats a good one but if not I don't think so. Cause it will matters how you involve in gambling and if they found out that you are too long involve in gambling that your husband will got angry for sure.

Well, in case you are in a country that, due to their religion or something, they are prohibited from playing, then that is very understandable, although I see that as something that does not have much to do with anything bad, but each religion has its beliefs. and that is respected, however when you have a partner you can give yourself some freedoms, but everything changes when you have children and a family, things change a lot because that is something else, in fact you forget about yourself to be able to give them everything, so I think that the sense of responsibility changes much more with them, well that's what happened to me, one no longer thinks so much about one's own benefit because if one sees that one's children are well and one goes to second place, those who prioritize themselves themselves first before their children, they should not complain when their children grow up because they do not have that affection, that love towards their parents.

Where do you come up with such notions? We have long lived in a world where women have all the same rights as men. So why do you think a woman can't gamble?

SmartGold01 in her initial post clearly explained that she has no gambling addiction and has full control over her gambling expenses. I assume she can combine her family responsibilities and gambling.

Do you think it would be better if her husband accidentally finds out that she likes to gamble? In my opinion this option is more likely to lead to divorce.

There is no need to hide your behavior from your partner. Any behavior you think will not be condoled by your spouse should be stopped, this is the price we should pay to sustain our marriage. I don't wish to marry a gambler but if she is a responsible gambler and she is compatible with me, I wouldn't mind spending my life with her. But we have to do everything possible to shield our children from learning before the gambling age. My concern is that our family might raise gamblers if we are not careful. However, if she hides her gambling activities from me because she wants to pretend, this will not go down well with me because she just wants to deceive me. Notwithstanding it is important to acknowledge that some cultures frown at women gambling and this is the case in mine location. This means we would also have to keep the gambling activity secret from neighbors, friends, and families.

Everyone of us have responsibility in the system. Telling your husband that you engaged in gambling activities as a woman have automatically ruined the plans for the possible future with the husband. Almost 90% of men in the world don't give room of feel happy to watch or acknowledge their wives gambling because they're suppose to be their companion and supporting wife, caring for the children and taking good care of the household, ensuring to execute the budgets for the family and everything will change because the wife does gamble.

Of course honesty or openness is the key to harmony in a relationship and I understand that there may be some things that do not need to be told to your partner, but this is gambling buddy which involves money and also involves the risk of losing money, and you also said it above that a partner is advised to tell about his habit if it is significant and is not the possibility of losing a large amount of money an undesirable thing? And wouldn't that be a significant event? Of course, so what we have to look at here is the context of the habit which is gambling which over time can increase a person's interest in gambling and of course the consequence is destroying the financial balance.

So maybe there are two things that can trigger problems here, first your partner might scold you for not being open with them and the second is experiencing financial problems when gambling has become a priority for you which is possible over time for someone to experience an increased interest in gambling, on the other hand even though for example the amount allocated is not too large, it is possible that one day they try to put a larger amount and the impact can disrupt family finances.

From my own experience, sometimes some wives don't like the surprises that are there for her, of course pleasant surprises, sometimes I have had some arguments with my wife because of that, she says that I don't tell her anything and that she feels that I have secrets with her and all these things, the truth is I am very relaxed and if she fights then sometimes I don't even stop her and thanks to that, when they are surprises or something like that for her benefit, I try not to do it to avoid problems or arguments because it is very annoying , but if something like a jaguar is hidden from her in a casino, it is something that she will not like at all and I am sure that she will reproach it all her life, but things must be very equitable, if a woman hides something like that from a man , it will cause some anger, but the duty is that the woman also tells her husband, because what you are risking is money and if you lose control and try to fall into addiction you will have the support of your husband, These things must be seen from the point of view that each person's tastes must be accepted and respected.

To me it depends, while being honest in your marriage is key, at the same time you do not really need to tell your partner everything you do if it is not that significant, so assuming a person is earning thousands of dollars per month and they gamble a few bucks each week, that is not enough for me to raise some kind of alarm for being dishonest or anything, as each person within the marriage should have some freedom to spend some money in whatever they want, and only once the amount of money you spend reaches a certain point, then you must tell your significant other about what you are doing.

and when it comes to marriage, we should all inform them especially if there is money involved because it can even start or cause a fight and misunderstanding, maybe in the end it will even be reprimanded. Others say that our partners don't need to know all the moves, but for me, when you enter the world of marriage, what you have will automatically become his too, so they should really know everything and if you have respect your partner, you won't keep secrets because at the end of the day, you two will be on your side and will help each other especially if there is a problem.

Starting off, he's your husband and should be aware of everything you do except the marriage was forced, thinking  or concluding about the discussion being unnecessary should be his to decide.

Exactly. There is nothing as bad and painful as hiding something from your better half, according to how it's being called. Keeping something a secret from him or her alone shows that the person has or might have a hidden motive for why they choose to keep it a secret.
 
No matter how you try to explain it, when the next person finds out, it will be hard to rebuild and regain that trust back, so even if it will hurt, the best is to tell the next person first, then try to explain the reason why you do it, prove that it won't have any negative consequences for the family, and all will be well.

Neither man or a woman in family or marriage then there's should really be that kind of transparency or being that honest to each other because this is one of the most important component or
thing that could make that marriage bond to be way more stronger and tougher and cant really be just that easily be taking down but on the time that there would really be those conditions on which trust has been broken then this is something that cant really be easily be taking back into original state on which it would really be that so hard on doing such thing. This is something that you would really
be needing to protect no matter what because once false or mistake you would be able to hit up then it wont be forgotten forever, or something that would really be creating that kind of doubt
and thinking.

Marriage does not supposed to have any hidden words or behavior in-between. The husband need to be honest to his wife while she also have to do the same. It is obvious that nothing is hidden from the sun and any thing hidden will surely be unveiled soon. It is better for she to tell her husband that she is into gambling so that the man can look for ways to help her to reduce the gambling pressure or interest in her. A man can gamble which might not be tolerated by the wildlife but a woman which is meant to keep the family and take care of the children are not meant to be seen gambling, what will the children learn from her?

Yes but the main problem here is that they have a habit that involves the use of money, no matter if for example you are a responsible gambler even still in the end the possibility of losing money is a sure thing, and simply put if for example you are not involved in gambling then there will be no amount of money lost even if the amount is not large, so even if the habit you have before you get married still when you get married then you should tell your partner about you having this habit.

As we know that when we have entered the household phase, the responsibility will be even greater because usually there will be a lot of money allocated to meet many needs where it is better for us to use the money to meet family needs than to gamble. Actually this will not be a problem if for example you have other habits that do not involve the risk of losing money even if for example you keep it a secret from your partner, but if for example the habit is gambling then in my opinion it is better to tell your partner, lest it causes problems in the end when you unconsciously turn into an impulsive gambler which is clear your partner will also scold you. What we have to look at here is "having a gambling habit" which involves the risk of losing money, it is this context that should be of concern.

Some are saying that each one of us does have a secret that even our husband or wives doesnt know about, if this one pertains into those things that happened before marriage or on the time that you created your own family then i dont see any issues with it but its true that nothing beats out on living in a family on which you arent that hiding on something. Just like on what been mentioned that having that kind of openess would really be bringing out that kind of happiness on which we know that telling everything nothing but the truth would be always that something which crucial on any relationship in between.

We do know on how important it is when it comes to trust and really that tell everything you do and everything you do have in mind. This is where you would really be able to see and say that your partner does really give out that kind of importance and respect towards their partners on which this is something commendable and recommendable of course.

Family relationships will be more harmonious when everything runs with full openness, in any case between the two parties, between you and your husband, and of course keeping things a secret from your partner is something that is not recommended because after all, they are our life partners who will always be accompany us until death do us part, and in addition I am sure that if you hide something from your partner then one day this will only trigger problems between you and your partner which, as you mentioned above, most likely your partner will not trust you again.

Even though basically, maybe you are a typical responsible gambler who can manage and control your gambling activities well and safely, but still the problem is keeping something secret from your partner, which can reduce the level of trust and possibly disrupt harmonious relationships in your relationship. family. So don't think that if you are a responsible gambler then you don't tell your husband, because maybe your husband has a different point of view towards gambling, maybe he will assume that even though you can maintain your involvement in gambling well, it's still a thing. The risk of losing money is a definite thing, and in fact this will only result in a number of unnecessary losses, however there are still quite a lot of other entertainments that you can do without any possible risk of loss.