What is even so secretive about gambling that we can't share with our spouse? Gambling is not criminal, and neither is it a stimulant that can injure one's life, it is just part of the way of life, an activity of betting, it should not be secretive at all, especially if we are wise about it. But if you know that your spouse would frown at it, it is better you quietly it immediately and quietly. That's if you can tell him or her directly. Still, I advise that people tell their spouse so that they know the direct response. Who knows, the whole situation might be surprising to some people as their spouse could accept it, especially if the gambler is living a quality life and is responsible towards gambling to the extent that people may not even know that such a person is gambling.
This is the kind of gambling lifestyle we want, everyone can be proud of this, unlike the way most people go about gambling which makes people view it as irresponsible. Lastly, good family members, especially couples should be able to know everything about themselves, so letting the spouse know about this is the best way out. Unfortunately, keeping it till the spouse detects by his or herself may lead to more issues/damage than telling him/her yourself.
Maybe for some people gambling is okay to be share to their spouse but for some people, that is a secret that no one needs to knows. As long as that person can be wise using gambling and can be a responsible gambler, she will not have a problem when playing gambling or after she finish playing gambling. But there are a chance for her to gets deeper in gambling, especially if she lose control while playing gambling. She will not gets a help from anyone when she gets a problem from gambling and that's why she must tells to her spouse about her gambling activity. If her spouse knows about her gambling activity and he is not agree with that, he can asks her to stops his gambling activity for her own good. Our spouse will suggest the best thing for us so we will not makes a problem for our family.
If someone used gambling as his lifestyle, he will not be able to follows because playing gambling needs money while we have many things to be filled. It's better we can used as an activity like the other activities and not playing gambling too often to avoids many problems or impacts that can occurs while we interact with gambling. If we wants to playing gambling, we must have self control and responsible in gambling so we don't have to lose much money and can still enjoy gambling as an entertainment.
I am not judging anyone but what you just mentioned in the first line is one of the issues with marriages these days, why end up with someone you can't share everything with in the first place? That's what the person will have to live with for the rest of his/her life which I don't think is cool. I understand that relationships are not the same and we have to "dance to the music as the beat sounds," nevertheless, if such a little matter can be hidden, much worse would be hidden/pretended as well which will not make the spouses to be plain with each other and I do not see that as a good relationship. This is sad. I do not want to sound like a relationship expert but a concerned fellow.
I won't ignore the fact that I love peace in every relationship, which will always make me advocate one mind in relationships, or quit if that is not possible to avoid future issues. Gambling matters is the easiest thing I believe any free spouse can discuss, and for the good of the family, the resolve of both of them should be the final. After all, gambling is not a must, you guys may resolve into better things that will even be more beneficial to the family than gambling. Thankfully, you mentioned the spouse possibly helping in case of addiction or gambling challenges. However, if the spouse does not share the gambling issue but rather wastes money which affects the family both directly and directly, that can't be cool.