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Topic: Gambler avoiding friends after a big win. - page 13. (Read 3111 times)

hero member
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November 03, 2023, 12:53:16 PM
You are right, these situation when it becomes public without your consent can of course happen. The lottery in some countries is a good example because for some time they required their players to consent to becoming publicly known or announced when they are the jackpot winners. There are still some lottery formats that work that way. And this reminds me of problems that occurred with the Italian mafia. Google "lottery win, mafia, Italy" and it's really frightening how these people may have been hunted down for their winnings. In one case there was a group in an Italian village announced as winners in public and they really had to hide from there on. It is unknown whether they were hunted down. 

I had no idea the Italian Mafia used the resources and man power to hunt down lottery winners in their own villages and cities, which is frightening. If lottery operators are aware of those problems in their societies, then they should completely give the option to their winners so they can claim their jackpots anonimously. One can understand that the lottery, as a company, wants the public to know they are legitimate and they indeed pay to their big winners, but FORCING their winners to risk their physical integrity for money is simply utter selfishness and stupidity.
There could even be some link between the Italian Mafia and the lottery operators to carry out those crimes against winners, but I don't have any proof of such corruption, neither would dare to try to write much about it, for my own personal security, mafias and crime syndicates are not to be underestimated.  Sad

You understand how it works and I agree that there is a high possibility for this to be true and it would also explain why the lottery would make it a requirement (or did so in the past) for winners to come out in public. Because if they didn't get mentioned publicly, how would the mafia know who won the money? That would allow for the only conclusion that someone from the lottery operation is giving out names secretly.

Having a lot of money is amazing and solves so many problems, but it changes life in a different way and I think people who go from no money to millions in a short period of time often underestimate the true consequences of that. People who have been rich for a long time learned and know what to do, whom to trust and how to behave in certain situations.
sr. member
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November 03, 2023, 12:06:07 PM
Everyone is entitled to their actions likewise the gambler so if he decided to act that way you would not blame him because they say, experience is a teacher. He has learnt alot from his friends and was quiet following them and when it happened to him that he won big time, he fled for his safety and did not tell his friends because possibly he could not trust them to protect him but rather would want to run.him.down. I believe this was his logic before running away with his wins.
As you said, he has the right to do that, especially if he sees that his friends cannot be trusted. He would probably prefer to hide his win rather than tell his friends and only tell it to those close to him. But whatever the reason, he is entitled to his win, and to say or hide it also depends on him. He will choose whichever is comfortable for him, and if he feels he can say something about his win, he will say so. His other friends also had no right to force him to tell them about what happened with the bet because he had avoided them.

Of course if one trust his or her friends, one would be able to own up to them whatever the case maybe but the reverse was the case here he did not tell his friends anything but rather he chose to hide and run away from them. This goes a long way to tell you who they are. Probably they might have been making jest of him and unknown to them he knew what they were doing to him but he chose to remain silent about it till he win redeemed his win and he fled from them. Although he has the right whatsoever to do whatever he wishes to do with his wins and that does not really concerns anybody.
hero member
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November 03, 2023, 11:40:52 AM
Everyone is entitled to their actions likewise the gambler so if he decided to act that way you would not blame him because they say, experience is a teacher. He has learnt alot from his friends and was quiet following them and when it happened to him that he won big time, he fled for his safety and did not tell his friends because possibly he could not trust them to protect him but rather would want to run.him.down. I believe this was his logic before running away with his wins.
As you said, he has the right to do that, especially if he sees that his friends cannot be trusted. He would probably prefer to hide his win rather than tell his friends and only tell it to those close to him. But whatever the reason, he is entitled to his win, and to say or hide it also depends on him. He will choose whichever is comfortable for him, and if he feels he can say something about his win, he will say so. His other friends also had no right to force him to tell them about what happened with the bet because he had avoided them.
sr. member
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November 03, 2023, 10:00:05 AM
At one of the local gambling shop I visited during the weekend I happened to listen to a conversation between two bald looking gamblers at the shop talking about one of their gambling colleague who had won a big amount of money amounting to a million in the local currency and due to that win this colleague of theirs' has been avoiding them since e won that money. From their conversation it was obvious that they were a circle of close three friends that gamble together.

After all I finished with my bet headed home and was asking myself what could the colleague act that way avoiding his close friends they all gambling together and just because luck shines on him first he decides to create a distance and class. I couldn't actually annex a good reason why anyone should do that.

I can think of only 3 reasons why that colleague would behave in this way.

1. He wants to stay low because he doesn't want many people to know about his winning. We know that lots of money brings unwanted attention and may be that's why he is keeping distance from everyone until he figures out what to do with this money.

2. He would be thinking that his colleagues would ask him for money and he doesn't want to give them any.

3. He might be busy enjoying his reward elsewhere.

Most times people only think one way when it comes to matters of this nature.  Sometimes some people react back in the way they were treated when the journey was rough and tough. Possibly your reasons are correct but what if it is possible to meet with that gambler and ask him questions pertaining his actions then you will be able to hear his story and do not be surprised of him telling you his experience with his friends who were mean on him when they were together trying to make an earns meet through gambling.

That's a possibility as well. People learn from their experiences and sometimes the experiences are not good.
In such situations, people adapt what has happened to them and do the same.
There are many reasons why the gambler would have behaved in this way and there's nothing wrong in it.

Everyone is entitled to their actions likewise the gambler so if he decided to act that way you would not blame him because they say, experience is a teacher. He has learnt alot from his friends and was quiet following them and when it happened to him that he won big time, he fled for his safety and did not tell his friends because possibly he could not trust them to protect him but rather would want to run.him.down. I believe this was his logic before running away with his wins.
hero member
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November 03, 2023, 09:24:46 AM
At one of the local gambling shop I visited during the weekend I happened to listen to a conversation between two bald looking gamblers at the shop talking about one of their gambling colleague who had won a big amount of money amounting to a million in the local currency and due to that win this colleague of theirs' has been avoiding them since e won that money. From their conversation it was obvious that they were a circle of close three friends that gamble together.

After all I finished with my bet headed home and was asking myself what could the colleague act that way avoiding his close friends they all gambling together and just because luck shines on him first he decides to create a distance and class. I couldn't actually annex a good reason why anyone should do that.

I can think of only 3 reasons why that colleague would behave in this way.

1. He wants to stay low because he doesn't want many people to know about his winning. We know that lots of money brings unwanted attention and may be that's why he is keeping distance from everyone until he figures out what to do with this money.

2. He would be thinking that his colleagues would ask him for money and he doesn't want to give them any.

3. He might be busy enjoying his reward elsewhere.

Most times people only think one way when it comes to matters of this nature.  Sometimes some people react back in the way they were treated when the journey was rough and tough. Possibly your reasons are correct but what if it is possible to meet with that gambler and ask him questions pertaining his actions then you will be able to hear his story and do not be surprised of him telling you his experience with his friends who were mean on him when they were together trying to make an earns meet through gambling.

That's a possibility as well. People learn from their experiences and sometimes the experiences are not good.
In such situations, people adapt what has happened to them and do the same.
There are many reasons why the gambler would have behaved in this way and there's nothing wrong in it.
legendary
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November 03, 2023, 04:41:55 AM
Most people only want to become our friends if we're rich, when we're struggle or having a problem, they will set a distance between them and us. That's why most people always want to flex their achievements, to revenge or proofing if they're better than their old friends.

Keep in note, even you have a good friends, make sure you're not 100% loyal to them because anything can happen. They might ask for more money or stuff as they think you're rich.
Exactly, not just about a friend but this can be happens to our family circle. But, I don't think this is a problem before, when they are coming for my help, unfortunately, even they are have a relationship with our family, they are just wants my money. Now, I have a problem with my financial, they are staying away from me. So, if you are have a close friends on yoir gambling activity, never ever say anything about your jackpot or any big win.
sr. member
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November 03, 2023, 04:22:35 AM
So far this never happened to me whenever I win I always treat my friends or allocate a portion for them, and they do the same to me, that's the spirit of giving and sharing.
Yes, that's good because it all comes back to your own character, if you and your friends can do something like that and are willing to share it with each other, that's good, because there aren't many like that nowadays, especially since there are so many people who forget the kindness we have given to people. On the other hand, although I never expect them to remember, at least I don't try to forget my friends when I win, of course just treating them to a meal is good enough.

The point is that we should never repay anyone who forgets us when they get big money from gambling or winning, I personally often like that when I often remember to treat my friends, sometimes my friends don't remember to treat me, but that's never been a problem for me. I think maybe he needs the money to pay his debts and needs, so don't think negatively and expect a lot, keep your friendship and always be enthusiastic about giving without asking.  Wink

If you are indeed friends with other people, you are more than happy to treat them in your own way after a big win.
But for those people who are only friends at good times, of course, you will be hesitant to share your winnings with them.
This is why we don't know exactly the story presented in the OP, why such person is avoiding his supposedly friends.
I can't judge what he did because we don't know those persons, but if I have such win, I am more than happy to see my friends and celebrate.


Yes, I think it's fair enough to not conclude about things easily especially if we do not know the real story as it can have a different perspective. Maybe he has his reasons why he's avoiding his friends after winning. And besides, it's not our obligation to treat our friends and that we it is our choice whether we treat them or not. But I would like to agree with you, that our wins would feel greater if we share it with other people especially to the people that we love. Victories would feel better if shared with others. But again, we should not judge that easily because we don't know all the perspectives about this. Because after all, that is still his money, and no one can tell him how he should spend his money.

legendary
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November 03, 2023, 03:55:58 AM
If you are indeed friends with other people, you are more than happy to treat them in your own way after a big win.
But for those people who are only friends at good times, of course, you will be hesitant to share your winnings with them.
This is why we don't know exactly the story presented in the OP, why such person is avoiding his supposedly friends.
I can't judge what he did because we don't know those persons, but if I have such win, I am more than happy to see my friends and celebrate.
Yeah, that's really depends on the friends.

Most people only want to become our friends if we're rich, when we're struggle or having a problem, they will set a distance between them and us. That's why most people always want to flex their achievements, to revenge or proofing if they're better than their old friends.

Keep in note, even you have a good friends, make sure you're not 100% loyal to them because anything can happen. They might ask for more money or stuff as they think you're rich.
hero member
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November 03, 2023, 03:31:50 AM
So far this never happened to me whenever I win I always treat my friends or allocate a portion for them, and they do the same to me, that's the spirit of giving and sharing.
Yes, that's good because it all comes back to your own character, if you and your friends can do something like that and are willing to share it with each other, that's good, because there aren't many like that nowadays, especially since there are so many people who forget the kindness we have given to people. On the other hand, although I never expect them to remember, at least I don't try to forget my friends when I win, of course just treating them to a meal is good enough.

The point is that we should never repay anyone who forgets us when they get big money from gambling or winning, I personally often like that when I often remember to treat my friends, sometimes my friends don't remember to treat me, but that's never been a problem for me. I think maybe he needs the money to pay his debts and needs, so don't think negatively and expect a lot, keep your friendship and always be enthusiastic about giving without asking.  Wink
I understand your sentiments, but to be honest, friendship is all about give and take. I know that people say one should be selfless when it comes to friends and give everything but don't expect anything in return, I'm sorry but that's not how it works. When there is a friendship, it is supposed to have an equation from both sides and both people need to maintain that to keep the bond as strong as it can be and that is only possible if there is give and take and not just one taking and the other giving, that will eventually make the friendship die.

When you say that you thought that you had always given treats to your friends when you won big but your friends didn't do that and you thought it's alright because they might need that money for something else, I understand, that's you being a good friend but what about them? Even if that is true, they at least owe you an explanation or at least give you a heads up about it and let you know that they won't do it because there is a reason that isn't hidden from you.
hero member
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November 02, 2023, 07:27:17 PM
If you are indeed friends with other people, you are more than happy to treat them in your own way after a big win.
But for those people who are only friends at good times, of course, you will be hesitant to share your winnings with them.
This is why we don't know exactly the story presented in the OP, why such person is avoiding his supposedly friends.
I can't judge what he did because we don't know those persons, but if I have such win, I am more than happy to see my friends and celebrate.
That is another good point, people do things for a reason, and while it may seem difficult to understand such a decision for us, as we are not the ones that are immersed in that situation, maybe there was a strong reason for their friend to avoid them.

And one possibility is the one you bring forward since there are many people that are happy to be around you when everything is going well for you, but as soon as anything goes wrong they leave you alone and this could be the reason why he is avoiding them.
hero member
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November 02, 2023, 07:08:20 PM
That is a selfish and greedy friend that is not good to move with when known the real character of the guy. At least he would have given them something to keep their body and soul together and they would use that small token to remember him. And has forgotten that the matter the amount is big and if he is not using to do business they will finished one day and he come back to square one and start asking for his friends for food to eat. Or asking them for one "white" and at that time he will also received the other parts of his friends.

Some people are naturally like that. They only like to receive and don't like to give our and he has forgotten the Holy Bible that "givers never lack". Lolz let me retitled the topic to "A Greedy Gambling Friend". If I was the one, I can't do such a thing and if I does, my mind will not be a peace.
Greed consumes anyone that has it, at first it would seem as if he's making plans for tomorrow, unknowingly to him he's setting boundaries when he have successfully benefited from the system. Everyone does that, avoiding friends when one have sitted at the top, for instance, recording big wins from the system. Friends often influence us with their bad and good character, on the other hand, it's left for us to either embraced these quality or declined. We are adults and ensuring we make the right decision to take things higher to good stages. Choose your friend wisely and not someone that sits in good position, but doesn't provide the necessary aides when needed, they disappear and are no where to be found.
hero member
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November 02, 2023, 06:51:00 PM
For sure there are always different opinion but coming to this statement, if you know who surrounds you and you are enjoying the company it's a human behavior that you will give them something that will allow you all to enjoy, a give and take companionships while doing the same thing and dealing with same venue of vices, though not all have that same perceptions and not all can be like that,
That's just being friends enjoying each other's company but on this story, we don't see that. The winner just want to take care of himself and maybe his family but not his friends.

but for those who can still do the routine the enjoyment can be much better.
I agree. If you've been indebted to your friends, you won't skip them and you'll choose to enjoy together with them because you've been attached to them not just physically but also spiritually. All of the moments will be remembered on how you dealt with things will be remembered by you if you ever have the cash on your hand whether it's from a big win from gambling or any wins from your life and investments.
You just want to give something and make them feel good that you did it well and you've achieved it together with them.

But as such, he's not like that and we just have to respect him for not including his friends and chose to avoid because he don't want someone eating a portion of his pie, as simple as that.
hero member
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November 02, 2023, 06:15:54 PM
So far this never happened to me whenever I win I always treat my friends or allocate a portion for them, and they do the same to me, that's the spirit of giving and sharing.
Yes, that's good because it all comes back to your own character, if you and your friends can do something like that and are willing to share it with each other, that's good, because there aren't many like that nowadays, especially since there are so many people who forget the kindness we have given to people. On the other hand, although I never expect them to remember, at least I don't try to forget my friends when I win, of course just treating them to a meal is good enough.

The point is that we should never repay anyone who forgets us when they get big money from gambling or winning, I personally often like that when I often remember to treat my friends, sometimes my friends don't remember to treat me, but that's never been a problem for me. I think maybe he needs the money to pay his debts and needs, so don't think negatively and expect a lot, keep your friendship and always be enthusiastic about giving without asking.  Wink

If you are indeed friends with other people, you are more than happy to treat them in your own way after a big win.
But for those people who are only friends at good times, of course, you will be hesitant to share your winnings with them.
This is why we don't know exactly the story presented in the OP, why such person is avoiding his supposedly friends.
I can't judge what he did because we don't know those persons, but if I have such win, I am more than happy to see my friends and celebrate.
legendary
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November 02, 2023, 06:11:06 PM
So far this never happened to me whenever I win I always treat my friends or allocate a portion for them, and they do the same to me, that's the spirit of giving and sharing.
Yes, that's good because it all comes back to your own character, if you and your friends can do something like that and are willing to share it with each other, that's good, because there aren't many like that nowadays, especially since there are so many people who forget the kindness we have given to people. On the other hand, although I never expect them to remember, at least I don't try to forget my friends when I win, of course just treating them to a meal is good enough.

The point is that we should never repay anyone who forgets us when they get big money from gambling or winning, I personally often like that when I often remember to treat my friends, sometimes my friends don't remember to treat me, but that's never been a problem for me. I think maybe he needs the money to pay his debts and needs, so don't think negatively and expect a lot, keep your friendship and always be enthusiastic about giving without asking.  Wink

For sure there are always different opinion but coming to this statement, if you know who surrounds you and you are enjoying the company it's a human behavior that you will give them something that will allow you all to enjoy, a give and take companionships while doing the same thing and dealing with same venue of vices, though not all have that same perceptions and not all can be like that, but for those who can still do the routine the enjoyment can be much better.
legendary
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November 02, 2023, 04:10:55 PM
You are right, these situation when it becomes public without your consent can of course happen. The lottery in some countries is a good example because for some time they required their players to consent to becoming publicly known or announced when they are the jackpot winners. There are still some lottery formats that work that way. And this reminds me of problems that occurred with the Italian mafia. Google "lottery win, mafia, Italy" and it's really frightening how these people may have been hunted down for their winnings. In one case there was a group in an Italian village announced as winners in public and they really had to hide from there on. It is unknown whether they were hunted down. 

I had no idea the Italian Mafia used the resources and man power to hunt down lottery winners in their own villages and cities, which is frightening. If lottery operators are aware of those problems in their societies, then they should completely give the option to their winners so they can claim their jackpots anonimously. One can understand that the lottery, as a company, wants the public to know they are legitimate and they indeed pay to their big winners, but FORCING their winners to risk their physical integrity for money is simply utter selfishness and stupidity.
There could even be some link between the Italian Mafia and the lottery operators to carry out those crimes against winners, but I don't have any proof of such corruption, neither would dare to try to write much about it, for my own personal security, mafias and crime syndicates are not to be underestimated.  Sad
legendary
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November 02, 2023, 01:55:24 PM
So far this never happened to me whenever I win I always treat my friends or allocate a portion for them, and they do the same to me, that's the spirit of giving and sharing.
Yes, that's good because it all comes back to your own character, if you and your friends can do something like that and are willing to share it with each other, that's good, because there aren't many like that nowadays, especially since there are so many people who forget the kindness we have given to people. On the other hand, although I never expect them to remember, at least I don't try to forget my friends when I win, of course just treating them to a meal is good enough.

The point is that we should never repay anyone who forgets us when they get big money from gambling or winning, I personally often like that when I often remember to treat my friends, sometimes my friends don't remember to treat me, but that's never been a problem for me. I think maybe he needs the money to pay his debts and needs, so don't think negatively and expect a lot, keep your friendship and always be enthusiastic about giving without asking.  Wink
sr. member
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November 02, 2023, 01:00:05 PM
we shouldn't just think straight we shouldn't just conclude with the conversation those two friends were having, we should also put to consideration what might have happened between these friends that prompted their bet winner friend to exhibit such character, there are hidden things in this life, if we don't have a good idea of any conversation, it will be very bad if we take side without knowing what might have happened.
I completely agree with that. I do agree with the fact that people do change when they become rich from poor but that isn't because of the money but it is because they have been hiding their reality all this time because of their own benefits and thinking that they might need you some time and if they behave badly with you or ignore you, you would obviously not help them that way, so as soon as they get money and know they don't need you anymore, they will show their real face.

However, we can't be judgmental about someone just by hearing a conversation of their friends unless we know what the actual reality is behind the story. Maybe the friends were not really nice to him when he was their friend and he decided to leave those friends since they would now behave nice since he got money and he doesn't want to have such friends, or there can be any other reason. That's why, we shouldn't reach a conclusion before knowing the other side of the story.
We can't just judge someone based on one side story. If we could hear what both of them thinks of this situation then we might be able to determine the real cause behide his behavior. There is nothing wrong or right, if your friend ignores you. It's up to him. Yes, people do change when they have a lot of money. But we should keep in mind that, people around us also change when they see that we have a lot of money. They began to behave as a friends like they care. If he was your close friend and he started ignoring you, then I'll say he did wrong. Well, nobody knows the real reason. Only the person doing this can give some light to it.
sr. member
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November 02, 2023, 12:48:41 PM
At one of the local gambling shop I visited during the weekend I happened to listen to a conversation between two bald looking gamblers at the shop talking about one of their gambling colleague who had won a big amount of money amounting to a million in the local currency and due to that win this colleague of theirs' has been avoiding them since e won that money. From their conversation it was obvious that they were a circle of close three friends that gamble together.

After all I finished with my bet headed home and was asking myself what could the colleague act that way avoiding his close friends they all gambling together and just because luck shines on him first he decides to create a distance and class. I couldn't actually annex a good reason why anyone should do that.

I can think of only 3 reasons why that colleague would behave in this way.

1. He wants to stay low because he doesn't want many people to know about his winning. We know that lots of money brings unwanted attention and may be that's why he is keeping distance from everyone until he figures out what to do with this money.

2. He would be thinking that his colleagues would ask him for money and he doesn't want to give them any.

3. He might be busy enjoying his reward elsewhere.

Most times people only think one way when it comes to matters of this nature.  Sometimes some people react back in the way they were treated when the journey was rough and tough. Possibly your reasons are correct but what if it is possible to meet with that gambler and ask him questions pertaining his actions then you will be able to hear his story and do not be surprised of him telling you his experience with his friends who were mean on him when they were together trying to make an earns meet through gambling.
hero member
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November 02, 2023, 10:26:30 AM

Some people are naturally like that. They only like to receive and don't like to give our and he has forgotten the Holy Bible that "givers never lack". Lolz let me retitled the topic to "A Greedy Gambling Friend". If I was the one, I can't do such a thing and if I does, my mind will not be a peace.

There's a saying here in our country, you only know your friends if they are in abundance and you have nothing, I would not want to be a friend to someone who is not generous when winning, winning is a blessing and you can not win all the time and your friend will one day win and you are on the other side, it's just a give and take the situation you will give them today so the next day when the situation changes you are the receiver.

If I have a friend like that I will end our friendship unless he can justify his reason why he is not giving even a small portion of his winning, if he needs money for an emergency I will even return if he gives me something as long as I know his situation
So far this never happened to me whenever I win I always treat my friends or allocate a portion for them, and they do the same to me, that's the spirit of giving and sharing.
hero member
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November 02, 2023, 10:10:21 AM

That is what I thought initially when I first saw this topic, by the way.
Even if those people are close enough to be considered "best friends", one still would never know the whole context of the story behind someone quitting hanging out with their best friends.
For example, let us assume you had a very good night at the casino with your best friends and you happened to hit a jackpot, using your own money, in a blink of an eye now you are worth several hundreds of thousands of Dollars (at the very least). How would you feel if next time you hang out with your friends, they start to treat you differently and expect you to pay for their drinks, their food and their wager to gamble since they know exactly how much you have now in your bank account? Anyone would feel uncomfortable having people around who knows that kind of information about you, even if they are family members.
So before judging one side as the bad one of the story, let us put ourselves in the shoe of them.

Their was huge difference between the friends and best friend,because the best friend will know all our financial struggles.So once we win the game,they never ask to do favour using that money.So if you share the winnings to the close friend will not affect you at point.But sharing to the friends will make you to some financial needs by your friends and ask to do favour to their needs.Most probably they will ask you to give loan,because the loan from the friends doesn’t need to pay the interest till the repayment date.The friends always depends on you to pay for all their needs and demands.When you go to the hotel,they demand you to pay the full money.

Not sure if this can be considered a general rule, but first of all I don't know whether I would feel inclined to share big winnings at all, but that doesn't only count for winnings in gambling, it could also be inheritance or very high income from a well paid job. The truth is that money attracts people. But I think most people know that it is never smart to go bragging about your 10 million dollars lottery win. It jut can't be smart for so many reasons the same way it wouldn't be smart to let the world know that you are sitting on a huge bag full of Bitcoin. It should remain a personal matter for your own safety.

What if he was with his friends when he hit that jackpot in the casino? What if he was with his friends when they together decided to compare their lottery numbers to those which were being announced as the winning ones on Television?
Perhaps, there was no way we could hide it from his friends, because as it was stated in the beginning of this thread, their were gambling friends, so that means they likely shared their losses and wins because gambled next to each other. If so, what was he supposed to do since the beginning his former friends knew how much money he had earned?
Perhaps the only option for him, since he could to lie about how much he had, was to distance himself from his former partners, for his own security and peace of mind, it is something many of us would have done, unfortunately, security and self preservation are priorities.

You are right, these situation when it becomes public without your consent can of course happen. The lottery in some countries is a good example because for some time they required their players to consent to becoming publicly known or announced when they are the jackpot winners. There are still some lottery formats that work that way. And this reminds me of problems that occurred with the Italian mafia. Google "lottery win, mafia, Italy" and it's really frightening how these people may have been hunted down for their winnings. In one case there was a group in an Italian village announced as winners in public and they really had to hide from there on. It is unknown whether they were hunted down. 
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